Baby Weight

So I'm finally facing up to the fact that I've gone roughly a month without writing anything on here other than my three weekly "thoughts." And I'll have to admit that I'm a little bit all over the place when it comes to my hobbies. I go through major phases. Writing. Reading. Sewing. Cooking. And on and on. But over the past month, I've been sewing pretty much non-stop. Most of it was in preparation for my sister-in-law Abby's baby shower. I had so much fun making her a bunch of baby goodies! And have actually spent the past week attempting to recover my household from blatant neglect.

But my lack of writing has certainly not been due to a lack of thoughts floating through my head. I've actually been thinking about one thing quite a lot lately: My Weight. Actually my health in general. For lent this year, I decided that I really wanted to buckle down and attempt to lose those last ten pounds of baby weight that I've been lugging around for the past year. Actually, all my parents had to do was mention the word "beach" and I was cringing all over. When we went to the beach last year, I had a great excuse for those ten pounds: my baby was only three-months-old! But when we hit the beach this May, "My baby is fifteen-months-old" isn't exactly a great excuse. According to Mark and a few other kind but blind people, the extra ten pounds looks great. To me, however, I remember what I felt like without them and I know how I feel now. And I know which I prefer. Don't get me wrong. I know I don't look horrible or dreadfully over-weight or anything. It's just a matter of wanting to feel my best and look my best. Something about those two things does wonders for my self-confidence!

Really, the past year or so has been a blur. As Reagan approaches fifteen months, it absolutely blows my mind that when Kolbe was that age, I was having a brand new baby. I've seriously spent the past year just giving it my best to get by. With Mark in Midland, those first six months of Reagan's life and then just the responsibility of taking care of two babies 'round the clock, I gave little attention to my own self.

And on top of my extra ten pounds, I have discovered and even heavier health problem that I'm determined to rectify. At my last appointment with Dr. Calmes, my rheumatologist, I had a bone density scan run. My last scan was over three years ago but since I was pregnant (twice), I was unable to have another one sooner. The scan uncovered the fact that I have developed a bit of osteoporosis. Yes, you got that right. Osteoporosis. Like what seventy-five year old grannies have. Me. A twenty-seven year old. A lot of this is due to the fact that I've been on prednisone for over ten years for my lupus. For me, that drug has been a can't live with it, can't live without it kind of predicament since I was diagnosed. Helps me function as a normal person but does bad things to me in the long run. I'm no fool though. I'm sure that some of this onset of osteoporosis is due to my diet and lack of calcium intake. I've always taken extra calcium supplements, but I'm determined to really up it now and get myself to healthy levels that will develop healthy bones! If not, I'll have to go on an osteoporosis treatment plan a year from now. No thanks!

Since I began my concerted effort to lose weight at the beginning of lent, I've lost about five of the ten pounds. I'm super excited about this and can't wait for the other five to go. As all weight loss goes, the second five are proving to be much slower than the first! But I'm determined to make it happen. Especially before I'm forced to appear in a swim suit in front of anyone whatsoever! Eeek!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 12

1. A few days ago after both little monkeys were sleeping in their beds, I realized that we've finally reached an exciting new state of "normal" at the Asmussen abode. I say exciting, because it truly is the closest thing to the rest of the world's "normal" than anything we've had in the past two-and-a-half years. And by "normal" I'm talking everyone in this house goes to bed on their own, sleeps through the night in his own bed, can walk and doesn't have to be carried (although sometimes they still are...), can feed himself (though it requires a massive clean-up effort 100% of the time), and naps at the same time as everyone else wanting or needing to take a nap. I never realized how much I missed normal until I finally had it back. It's awesome to fix the boys their lunch, set it on the table, and then either eat with them or have time to clean a few dishes while they eat instead of aiding in the eating process. And don't even get me started on how much I love seven to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Yes, up until about a month ago I had a baby up in the middle of the night since November of 2007. Kolbe was just barely sleeping through the night when Reagan was born. I had just accepted that no sleep was my lot for the rest of my life. So now, all I can say is, "Ahhh." Sleep is glorious! Guess I better enjoy it while I can!

2. But when we're not busy being normal, we're busy being terribly not-normal. At least Kolbe, that is. Kolbe has been two for four months now and I've been so happy to see that the so-called "terrible twos" aren't so terrible after all. Until now. I'm really not sure what has gotten in to him, but a few words that come to mind are "bull-headed", "strong-willed", and "independent." Here's an example:
Kolbe: Mama, mes go back ard?
Me: Not right now, Kolb. It's raining.
(Immediate melt down with genuine fake tears begins.And no amount of reasoning helps.)
The scene continues on and on. Yesterday for literally TWO hours! As soon as he'd calm down I'd make the mistake of saying something like "Ok, let's go eat lunch now." To which he'd respond with immediate crying. Once he gets worked up, anything (seriously, anything) I say is just complete fuel to the fire. The ignore tactic has become a friend of mine. A lot of the time he's upset about something he wants to do himself. This has largely revolved around getting dressed, thus morning time and bedtime have become a nightmare.
Me: Kolbe, let's go get dressed so we can eat breakfast.
Kolbe: Me's turn.
Me: Ok. Pull your jammies off.
(Kolbe struggles to get the bottoms off and is completely stuck on the top.)
Me: Here Kolb, let me help.
Kolbe: No, ME'S turn!!!
Me:I'm going to let you do it, I'm just going to help.
(Full melt down begins.)
These melt downs often result in "Don't come out of your room until you're ready to stop crying." You can get down and try to level with him all you want. It does no good. The worst is the battle of the wills:
Me: Well you can't go with Pinkie until you tell Mama sorry for kicking her while she was helping you get dressed.
Kolb: (silence.)
Me: (after roughly five minutes of trying to get him to apologize) Ok, go ahead and leave, Pinkie. Kolbe isn't going to apologize to Mama.
(Pinkie walks out. Kolbe starts crying.)
Kolbe: Worwies, Mama! Worwies!
Me: Well Kolbe, Pinkie is already gone. You should have said sorry when we asked you to. Let's see if we can catch her before she's gone. Oh good! There she is! Let's put your shoes on so you can go.
Kolbe: No shoes, Mama.
Me: Kolbe, you have to wear shoes to go bye bye with Pinkie.
(Melt down back on.)
No, he didn't end up getting to go with Pinkie. It ended with me leaving him in his room and telling him not to come out till his shoes were on. By the time Pinkie got back, he had stopped crying and his shoes were on. The wrong feet, of course, but on nonetheless. It's been a long few weeks. The biggest challenge for Mark and me has just been following through. Kolbe has definitely discovered his will power and is testing us to see what he can get away with. He wants the world to revolve around him. Hey, don't we all sometimes!?! And there are many times that Mark and I kind of feel like just giving in in order to get him to calm down. But what good will that do us in the long run? We've seen several families where the child is in charge and that's definitely not how we want to roll. Guess we'll just have to grin and bear the melt downs till he figures things out. He actually had a fabulous day yesterday so maybe we're not too far off!

3. Are you in need of a new major appliance? Do you want to save a ton of money on it? If you live in Texas, there's a major opportunity coming up next month to make this happen! Back in the fall, the government decided to fund a program similar to Cash for Clunkers but for appliances. The money was distributed to each state and each state was given the power to decide how to run its version of the program. Texas has decided to have the program coincide with Earth Day which is on April 22nd. Appliances have to be  Energy Star appliances and have to be purchased between April 16th and April 25th. Plus, you have to "reserve" your rebate prior to purchasing the appliances either by calling a number or applying online beginning April 5th. So you apply. You get approved. They give you forms to send in with your receipt. They mail you the rebate. A few hoops to jump through, but well worth it! Plus, you get even more if you recycle your old appliance! Sweet! And there are definitely many Energy Star appliances that are very affordable. So you can either get an affordable model for a steal or splurge and get a fancy shmancy one for what you would have spent on the affordable one. Mark and I got some money for Christmas that we had planned on using for a new dishwasher. (ours is disintigrating.) We haven't made our purchase because I knew about this program and decided we had to hold off till we could get the rebate. When you see how much you get for each appliance, it's definitely worth it! Check it out at THIS website.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 11

1. On Tuesday we had to make a quick trip to Target. Boys were dressed, shoes were on, only jackets remained. I pulled Kolbe's little hoodie off its hook and was alarmed at its heaviness. As he slipped his arms into the sleeves, I noticed the bulging pockets. Reaching in, I found two handfuls of big, dirty rocks. I'm pretty sure the smile on my face probably stretched from ear to ear. He is so boy.  And I just love how he's starting to develop all these little boy tendencies. Rocks in his pockets, jumping in mud puddles, obsessing over motorcycles. It's all just so. much. fun! And his Uncle Dave taught him how to pick flowers (ok, flowering weeds...) in the backyard and bring them to Mama, so now at least once a day I get a lovely bouquet to put a smile on my face. Not just a boy, but a gentleman too!

2. As a stay-at-home mom, there's very little free time for anything. So when any amount of free time arrives, the last thing I want to do is clean. It's always on the to-do list. Always because I rarely ever cross it off! But when I do it, I'm always glad I did it. And always feel like I really accomplished something. But sadly, the only time I feel really motivated to clean is when we're having people over or guests are coming to stay. Like Uh-oh. I can't let the rest of the world know that we live in such squalor! Ok, ok. It's not that bad. The toys get picked up every night. The dishes always get done. (usually by my totally awesome husband.) The laundry is completed every week. As is the vacuuming. But it's the big things I avoid at all cost. Dusting. Bathrooms. Mopping. Not to mention all those grimy handprints splattered on cabinets, walls, and windows. Luckily, my mom comes to visit about once a month so I'm forced to do it all whether I want to or not. Too bad I'm not as obsessed with cleaning as I am with sewing. Or more like my mother-in-law or grandmother-in-law. They clean the tub after every bath or shower. Seriously. Quite admirable, but I'd never sleep if I cleaned at that pace!

3. Have you seen those dish drying mats that they sell at Bed Bath and Beyond? They're five bucks. Or four if you use one of the twenty percent off coupons. I first spied them at Mark's mom's house around Christmas time and decided I had to have one. They absorb a ton of water! So you're not left with a pile of soggy towels on your counter after hand washing things. And the mat stays in place and is a uniform shape so it doesn't look sloppy or messy like a towel either. Super cool. And you can throw them in the washer and dryer too! I know a certain young lady with a birthday just around the corner who just got new granite countertops that are begging for a few of these. She better not go buy them before I get them for her!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 10

1. Kolbe has been in a program called ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) since shortly after he was born. ECI is a program that works with children from birth to age three who are faced with some type of developmental delay. Since Kolb was born with a cleft lip and palate and failed hearing in one ear, he was at risk for difficulties with both eating as well as proper speech development. In the slightly over two years that we've been working with ECI, we've had several people help with Kolbe's care. In the past year, Miss Lindsay, Kolbe's speech therapist, has definitely become his sweetheart.

Unfortunately, as of last week, Kolbe's time with ECI is now up. He had his yearly evaluation and tested out of the program. He had a whole battery of developmental tests completed and came out well above his age level in many areas and even surpassed his age in speech, the area he has struggled with the most. The lady who came to test him had never met or seen him before (so she wasn't biased) and told me that we had quite an intelligent little boy!

Now, being Kolbe's mother, I've always thought he was pretty smart, but since we're not normally around other little boys his age, I really had no frame of reference when it came to how he compared. In some areas he was between a three and four-year-old instead of two and three! She was quite impressed with his ability to identify all his colors and cracked up when she asked him, "Kolbe, what flies?" and he replied "Pa's airplane." And then added: "Geese." That's what you get when your grandpa's a pilot and you live near a park filled with Canadian geese all winter! I knew he'd excel at all the physical tests; he's always been so hands on. But even I was impressed as his abilities with some of the conceptual tests. For example, she showed him a mama doll and a baby doll and explained which was which. Then she'd ask questions like "Kolbe, which one is the mama's baby?" Or she'd say, "Kolbe, move the baby toward the mama." Or "Kolbe, when did Dada go to work?" ..."Dis mo-nin." He fully understood everything she asked of him, and responded well! So I guess we're doing okay with Kolbe after all. Mark and I are quite proud!

2. Mark and I have actually made our bed nine days in a row now. Responses:
a.) "And?"
b.) "Why?"
I know, I know. To some people, making the bed is a waste of time. Why dress it up just to mess it up a few hours later? But to others, making the bed is as routine as brushing teeth... making it nine days in a row would certainly not be something to write about.

For me, I've dwelled somewhere in the midst of  these two philosophies for various reasons over the span of my life. As a child, we were required to make our beds daily. To avoid the wrath of Mommy Dearest, my brothers and I reluctantly tidied up our beds on our way out the door every. single. morning. Then college came and I was living by my rules; no bed making required. There were classes to get to after all! But after Mark and I got married, I was suddenly hit by the Suzie-Homemaker-I'm-Married-So-I-Must-Act-Like-I'm-Married-And-Make-My-House-Look-Like-A-Married-Person's-House bug and started making the bed again. Daily. The arrival of children certainly threw that idea right out the window. After all, the goal was to get back in to bed as quickly as possible once the baby was asleep, right!?! Why would I make the bed and jeopardize any amount of sleep possible!?!

But now that both Reagan and Kolbe are sleeping really well at night, I'm not nearly as tired as I used to be. Naps no longer necessary. And although our room is off limits throughout the majority of the day (door knob cover), it makes me really happy when I do pass through to see a neatly made bed. Kind of like a little bit of calm in a day full of chaos. Plus, I think it's important for the boys to see Mama picking up her room and making her bed. I want them to respect our home and property, after all. And while I'm not to the point of requiring a made little boy bed and a made baby crib just yet, I do fully intend on making it a daily chore once they aren't napping and sleeping like little wild men!

3. Have you ever tried the Press-n-Seal Plastic Wrap? It's awesome. Yes, it's a little bit more pricey than the standard plastic wrap, but when you take into account its abilities, you're using much less so it's well worth it. You can literally tear off a piece that's the exact size of the item you're covering and it just seals right on to the edge. With regular plastic wrap, you have to tear off way more than necessary just because you practically have to wrap it around the whole item just to get it to stick. And then it still doesn't stay in place. Or it leaks if you spill it over. Not the press-n-seal stuff. And another cool thing is that once you've sealed the edge, you can actually stack other things on top of it. It's that good of a seal. Love it.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 9

1. I'm afraid the aforementioned "milk factory" has arrived at it's new "normal" state. Why am I afraid? Well let's just say that it's nothing like the milk factory that existed before it became operational. People always used to say "enjoy your pre-baby body while you've got it...it will never be the same!" You can say that again. I can usually disguise it but Lord knows when it's just me and Him looking, it sure ain't the same. Sigh. It's kind of like having a new car and taking a look at it after a hundred thousand miles and bad upkeep. I'm udderly...errrr, utterly...shocked at the difference. Awww, man! They broke it! Oh well. I suppose the purpose of the miles was well worth it. And the one who created this milk factory is certainly proud of it no matter what it looks like beneath the disguise.

2. For those of you who see me regularly, you know that throughout Reagan's first year of life I've had many a flare up with my lupus. Particularly in my wrists. This is usually noted by the "bowling braces" I wear when I'm having a flare. (That's what Mark's cousin calls them.) At first I attributed this to the large amounts of lifting I've been doing, now that I'm taking care of two babies full time. This was something I hadn't thought of before leaving the working world. But a funny thing has happened recently. Since Reagan started walking a few months ago, I've hardly had any flares at all. So originally, I assumed that I was right. I wasn't lifting as much any more, thus I wasn't having as many flares. But in the past three months, I have had two flares. Both either the day before or the day of Aunt Flo arriving in town. Hmmm. I knew she was evil, but I never suspected her of such malice! And both of these flares popped up with no apparent strenuous activity the day before. Just no reason at all. So now I'm suspicious. And looking forward to my appointment with Dr. Calmes next week. Could there be some form of a hormonal element to my lupus? If there is, is there a hormone I could take to balance it out without causing "female" problems? Hmmmm....

3. I'd love to write about something in the house that I love, but I just keep thinking about the absence of something I love: The Olympics. Whah. They're over. Booooo. Seriously. Now it's just back to the boring ol' stuff on the tube. Nothing compares to the excitement of the Olympics. Guess that's my cue to start reading more instead of watching TV. And the good thing is, as soon as I stop thinking about the Olympics being over, they'll be back in my favorite summer variety in 2012! Can't wait!

The Milk Factory

I've always been a big proponent of breastfeeding. My mom breastfed all five of us (at various lengths) and so naturally, I always imagined doing the same for my children. I planned to breastfeed Kolbe, even after discovering he would be born with a cleft lip. After his chaotic birth (which is another story in itself), the doctors informed me that he also had a cleft palate, making it impossible for Kolbe to suck. He would be forced to eat through chewing, making breastfeeding virtually impossible. Not one to give up, I decided to pump for Kolbe. While this still provided Kolbe with the very important breast milk that he needed, it certainly wasn't what I had hoped for and dreamed up.

But along came Reagan! And I was bound and determined to make our experience the best it could be. God certainly blessed me with a wonderful nursing experience with Reagan. Despite his prematurity and despite my C-section and blood pressure problems before and afterward, things couldn't have gone more smoothly in the beginning. He took to nursing right away and never turned back!

Nursing has created such a special bond between Reagan and me, though I must admit, I didn't necessarily feel the way about nursing that everyone said I would feel. Yes, I was so happy that I was able to provide nourishment for my little guy, but I didn't feel that complete connection type feeling that people always talk about. It was certainly very satisfying though, as a mother to be able to care for my baby in that way. I'm so glad I did it!!! And will absolutely do it again if God blesses us with any more kiddos.

Needless to say, Reagan has become such a mama's boy. Bad. If I'm within a 10 mile radius, he knows. There are times it can be a bit much (like when I'm trying to give Kolbe a little attention), but there are also times I absolutely love having that special connection with my little guy. He knows I love him and I know he loves me. It's awesome!

Around the time Reagan turned ten months old, that un-welcomed "friend" of mine returned, throwing things off kilter a bit. I was absolutely bound and determined to make it to Reagan's first birthday before giving up nursing and he seemed to have no intention of giving it up either, despite the slow down in milk production. A few weeks ago, however (yes, after his first birthday!) we decided to stop.

Once Reagan finally learned how to drink out of a sippy cup, and I knew he'd be able to get fluids, I felt more comfortable with letting go. Besides, when he was nursing (just before bed), it was lasting only a few minutes. I knew he wasn't getting any nourishment from it. It was simply for comfort.

So on the first night with no nursing, I scooped up my little man and held him close and told him how much I love him. And I told him how happy I was that I was able to nurse him for his first year of life. And I told him how thankful I was that he is my son. I placed him in his bed and covered him up and busied myself with picking up a few toys around the room. By the time I returned to his bedside, he was already fast asleep. Just like that, it was over.

Mark came in and stood beside me as we looked at our little guy. I started to cry. I knew my body was telling me that it was time to move on, and obviously Reagan was ok with it too, but something it my heart just felt so sad about letting go of nursing. I guess bittersweet would be a better description. Bitter in that I was letting go of something that kept Reagan a baby, something that kept me connected to him so closely, and something that cemented the fact that I was providing for him. But it was sweet in that I knew I had given it my all, knew I had been successful, and knew that Reagan is the baby he is today because of my efforts. Such a satisfying feeling. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 8

1. Reagan has entered the "poor, unfortunate soul" phase of life. Ugh. Kolbe went through the same phase around the same age. Call it teething, call it the inability to communicate, call it lack of understanding of the way the world works...whatever you call it, I have to admit, it's utterly annoying at some times. (usually like around 7:00pm when I've heard it all day...) Don't get me wrong, I love my little baby, but man o' man, he has just been pouring on the drama lately! I set him down; he cries. I pick him up; he cries. I put him in his booster chair; he cries. I get up to get a napkin; he cries. We get to the bottom of his carton of yogurt; he cries. I put him in his car seat; he arches his back and cries. And we're not talking about a small little pout. We're talking full on, throw his head back, crocodile tears, so-hard-that-no-sound-comes-out cries. It's ridiculous. And the second he gets his way, he stops. When Kolbe went through this phase, Mark and I would bust out our best rendition of the Ursula song "poor, unfortunate soul!!!...in pain....in need..." from The Little Mermaid. Come on, you know what song I'm talking about! Needless to say, we've reprised our role a little over a year later for Mr. Reagan. Can't wait for this phase to pass! Really, son! Life is not that bad!!!

2. Mark and I are expecting! ...A godchild, that is. I'm sure a few people just fell out of their chairs. (though I'm sure some of you probably wouldn't be surprise, considering our previous track record...) Abby and Andy came over a few nights ago (in the gushing snow) to drop off some of my borrowed maternity clothes and asked if Mark and I would be willing to be their little baby John's godparents. We, of course, were ecstatic and happy to take on such an important responsibility. (I think I actually gasped when they asked...) Mark and I have always viewed the roll of godparents to be something so vital and important. As Mark always says, his job as a father and husband is to help get the boys and me to heaven. And should we ever leave our children behind on this earth (God forbid...) we would certainly hope that someone else would seek this same goal for our boys. Not to mention the fact that godparents can join in the journey with the parents through prayer and example. We're still about eleven weeks away from meeting our little nephew and godson, John, but we're so excited to serve in this special way in his life and hope that we can be all that Andy and Abby would expect us to be! Thanks again, A & A, for such an honor!!!

3. I guess I'll just stick with the baby theme this week...

I spent two solid years either being the pregnant lady or the lady with a new baby for all our friends and family. It's been so interesting over the past several months to actually be on the outside and see what it's like for other friends and family members either trying to get pregnant or experiencing their first pregnancies. In some cases, I've seen so many similarities to Mark and my journey. In others, it's been so different. It just makes me realize that life is precious and beautiful to all who endeavor to join with God and create it. It's exciting, it's heart-breaking, it's time consuming and pride-reducing. It's sacrificial, it's all-encompassing, it's exhausting and exhilarating. It's the journey of falling in love!

I have four friends or family members who are due literally within days of each other, the first being my sister-in-law, Casey, who is due March 31st. A friend of mine, who was due a few days after Casey, ended up having her baby on Tuesday in a manner similar to my experience with Kolbe. I have yet to go see her at the hospital, but just hearing about it from an outsider's perspective has been somewhat poignant for me. When I had Kolb, I felt like I was somewhat alone. Like I was the only one who had ever gone through such an experience. But something about just hearing of how this precious little guy arrived so early to such a beautiful, deserving mama has made me re-recognize the beauty of each woman's own journey. We may not all be meant to have the perfect conception, pregnancy, or delivery we dream of as little girls, but if God calls us to be mothers, we are all meant to experience the beauty of celebrating each new life. And I have completely enjoyed witnessing all my soon to be mama friends thus far. I can't wait for their babies' births! And I look forward with hope for my friends who are destined to be mothers in the future!