So Help Me God!

Pack Your Bags...

2010-09-30T07:35:00.002-05:00

So maybe, just maybe you were expecting three jots of randomness from my week. And yes, I will get to that. But not here.

I have a little bit of a confession to make. For months and months people have been encouraging me to start up a little etsy site selling my handmade stuff. What's etsy, you ask? It's basically a massive site dedicated to the sale and promotion of solely handmade goods. For a really long time I had my mind made up that I wasn't going to do it. Seriously...who would by my stuff? I would really need to perfect a few things before making it sell-able.

But a few months back I finally decided to go for it and give it a shot. Sort of a what-the-heck type attitude. I decided to keep it hush for several reasons. Partially because I didn't want to have to explain if I chickened out. Partially because I didn't want anyone to feel like they had to buy anything. (You don't. Really....it's all baby stuff anyway.) But mainly, I think, because I was afraid of it failing. I'm such a perfectionist, that I just really had this secret horrible self-doubt gut-feeling that it might fail and I'd be embarrassed. Which still may be true.

And for the first few weeks, it struggled. No sales, not much action. Of course, I hardly had anything in my shop so that didn't exactly help. But all of a sudden it took off. And in a big way. Tuesday, for example, I sold six items. Six! And two other websites have asked to review and feature my items on their sites in the month of October. Very cool.

And because most of the shops on etsy also have a blog that shoppers can access for more information...especially for when their items are featured on other sites..., I finally broke down and started a blog connected to my shop a few weeks ago. Let me first explain that had I known about this when I started the shop, I would have just somehow tied it in to this blog. But I didn't. And I couldn't think of a clever name for my shop so I just combined my two nicknames for the boys (Sweetheart and Sunshine) to make the name of the shop. Real original. I know.

I'm sure by now you're putting two and two together. The shop is called Sweetheart-n-Sunshine so the blog needs to be called that too. And this blog is not called that. And I'm not going to keep three blogs. Sorry. Just don't got it in me. So if you're up for it and not completely tired of my antics, join me for the move. I'll no longer be posting on this site anymore. Instead, the new blog http://www.sweetheartnsunshine.blogspot.com/ will be home to all my ramblings about my life at home with the boys along with bits and pieces related to the shop and my sewing endeavors.

Whew. No turning back now.

I know that quite a mouthful and I could have just said, "Hey, I'm moving this blog," and it would have sufficed, but I just had to put the whole thing out there. Every little detail of an explanation. You know me...never at a loss for words.

So click here for the new blog and the continuation of Three Thought Thursday. (Yes, I committed to doing TTT for an entire year and I'm not giving up now just because I'm moving! Not when I've got just three months left!)

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 38

2010-09-23T07:23:00.003-05:00

1. This week, it's kind of all about the new way of doing things around here. Yes, this week was the official kick-off to "school." Three days in and we're going strong! It's been both easier and harder than I expected it to be. Easier in the organization, planning, putting together aspect, and harder in the actual teaching part. I know, I know. I used to be a teacher! Like a public school one! But that was ninth graders. This is a two, almost three year old. Fifteen-year-olds know when to drop the sarcasm and silliness. (Usually.) Two-year-olds think it's funny to respond with "rooster!" every time I ask what a baby cow is called. I even left it alone for a day and returned to it the next, only to get the same answer. But all in all, it's been a great success so far. Kolbe loves when I ask, "Are you ready for school this morning?" And his learning board has become the perfect show-and-tell for when Dada gets home in the evening. And best of all, it has added some much needed structure to our days. Now instead of pulling my hair out when we reach a lull in our daily activities, I already have something planned. And if the activity I have planned doesn't take as long as I expected, I can always go back and review stuff we've learned so far. And each "school thing" we do really only takes about forty-five minutes. So the other things we used to do and still need to do (like the grocery store, for instance) still get done. It's nice. Really nice. I love structure! And so far, the boys do too. In fact, here's a quick pic of our learning board so far this week (number is today and rhyme is tomorrow...):

A few people have asked, so I'll dish: The "curriculum" we're following is the one found at http://www.letteroftheweek.com/. We are doing the Step One: Preparatory Curriculum. It's kind of like a pre-cursor to learning phonetics. So they're just learning what the letters and numbers look like...not the sounds and variations just yet. If all goes well, we'll be moving on to that in the spring. In case you're interested, the site offers various programs for children from birth up to elementary age. We're following this for now, with various living skills and Bible lessons added in.

2. In addition to our new "school" routine, we've also started a new Wednesday morning activity: Bible Study. Actually, it's more of a women's prayer and study group that I was invited to join. Right now we're going through a book about praying for our husbands. The women in it are the women from our Feast and Friendship group at church, but from what I've been told, anyone who wants to come is invited. (In case anyone is interested, it's on Wednesday morning at 7:45am) When first invited, I definitely balked at the time, but since some of the women work, this was the best time available. And really, it's rough getting out of the house that early with the boys, but I keep reminding myself that most working moms do that every.single.day! (God bless you!) We've been two weeks in a row, and I must say that it has definitely been worth it. I love having the fellowship time with other women, and have really gotten a lot out of our discussions about praying and caring for our husbands. It's easy to feel alone some times, when in all actuality, all married people are going through similar situations. Sharing with others helps so much!

3. Mark made it through his first week of work and is knee deep in week two. Last week made for crazy hours due to him being on call. This week hasn't involved any middle of the night phone calls, but he has worked insane hours. Six-thirty am to seven pm pretty much every day. We keep having to remind ourselves that this, just like Midland, is only temporary. He's training right now. Of course they're going to want him to stay for every single case and watch every single surgery. It's the only way he'll learn. Down the road, he and the other P.A. he works with will be able to trade off and hopefully we'll see him a lot more! It's a sacrifice we have to make for now. In order to have the life we dream of having later. And oh yeah...tonight he's off on a trip to Vegas for a conference. Completely paid for by his job. Three nights, all expenses paid to the Bellagio. Lord knows I've never been privileged enough to go to Vegas, but from what I hear the Bellagio is like the nicest of the nicest on the Vegas strip. And yes, I looked in to going with him, but the flights were completely booked meaning I couldn't use a buddy pass, and to buy one was going to be about $600. I don't think so. Maybe next time. He also got a new iPhone from them as well as a new Sony laptop. Perks! Lucky dog! I wonder if he could convince them that his wife needs an iPad...

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 37

2010-09-16T07:00:00.001-05:00

1. I love that fall is partially here! And by partially, I mean that football has arrived!!! Fall is definitely my favorite season. I like to be warm but not hot. And fall is the transition from hot to cold. So it's warm with a tiny touch of cool. As opposed to spring which is cold with a tiny touch of warm. Totally different to me, though Mark thinks I'm crazy when I describe this difference. You know what I'm talking about, right!?! Anyhow, other than the slight change in temp, football is another favorite aspect of my favorite season. I'm a total guy in that I could literally sit and watch college football all day long on Saturday. Doesn't exactly happen, but I could. And used to. We all know what prohibits that now-a-days. But one exciting thing this year is that Kolbe is fully aware of what's going on when football is on TV. He doesn't exactly understand how the game is played but he knows that essentially, they are playing a game, they throw the ball, catch it, run, etc. Even Rudy is down with watching it for a bit. Kolbe wasn't interested at all at Rudy's age. But then again, Rudy is our little linebacker. I'm sure he's naturally drawn to it. (ha!) This past Friday night Mark let Kolbe stay up (way) late so that he could take him to the final quarter of the Frenship/Monterey game. We knew he'd never make it through the entire game, and since they let people in free for the last quarter, it was an easy choice. Mark hyped it up..."Kolbe! You get to go to the football game with Dada! Just you and me!" Reagan didn't know to protest since he can't bear to keep his eyes open much past 8:30. So off they went after Rudy went to bed. Kolbe fully decked out in his pajamas. They were only there for about twenty minutes, but it was definitely long enough to leave a lasting impression on Kolbe. Ever since then at random times he'll say "Mama, I go to football game with Dada this week too. Just Tolbe and Dada." He's hooked. Age two and he's already hooked. Not just on football, but on Dada too.

2. Mark started his new job on Monday! I think it was met with much fear and trepidation, but hey, all new beginnings are somewhat scary. I think Mark's biggest worry is that he's never worked directly in neurosurgery before. He had a general surgery rotation, but nothing directly related to the head and spine. After doctors leave med school, they choose their field and then proceed to do a roughly three to five year residency in that field. Three to five years of on the job training. For PAs, you walk out of school and can get a full on job in any field you want. Whether you've had direct training in it or not. Three days in and so far Mark is enjoying it, but still feels that there's a lot to learn. And by a lot, he means a lot. But I know my husband, and he'll get it done. He doesn't give up on anything. Ever. This will take some time, but just like every other obstacle he's been through, he'll make it.
I, on the other hand, am struggling through "back to reality." Mark has been home with us for about a month now, off and on, and I've gotten so spoiled! Now that he's back to working full time, I'm getting hit with parenting two little boys who have gotten extremely attached to their daddy. Everything for Kolbe is now "with Daddy." For example:
Me: Kolbe, do you want to go to the library later this week?
Kolbe: No, I want go with me's Daddy.
or
Me: Lay down, Kolbe. Do you want your quilt?
Kolbe: No, I not want me's quilt! I not want me's covers! I not want me's stars on me's ceiling! I want me's Daaaaaaaaaada!!!!
Sweet, but frustrating all at the same time. I'm sure it makes Mark happy though.

3. I made my fourth batch of our homemade laundry detergent this week. If I'm not mistaken, it's been almost a year since we started using homemade instead of store bought. And I must say, I don't know if I'll ever turn back. I think I've finally perfected my recipe...with the right amount of ingredients including lavender oil to give it a nice scent. Four batches in one year means I only have to make it ever three months or so. Which is far less often than I had to buy it. And I'm still on the same box of Borax and Washing Soda as when I started. Really, I don't think it costs more than $2-$3 to make an entire batch. Three months worth for $2-$3. And our clothes are clean! Even the boys'! I've yet to put something in the wash while using the homemade detergent where it didn't come out totally clean. (barring the incident with Mark's pen in the dryer....) Needless to say, I'm happy I started doing this and am loving how much it saves us each year.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 36

2010-09-09T17:14:00.000-05:00

1. I know, I know. I'm late. Real late, considering I usually have my three thought Thursday completed by the early morning hours of each Thursday. But today has been hectic and so here I am at 4:49pm just getting started. The boys are out eating "lunch" at the kitchen table. Their earlier "meal" consisted of gummi bears, goldfish, and pretzels on the airplane ride home from Houston. They then slept from 1pm until about 4:30pm. Seriously. Normally I would never allow that to happen, but we are all exhausted. And Mark and I were asleep too which meant since they weren't waking us up, we weren't waking them up. Our final leg of our travelling adventures is over and we're finally home for a long. long. while. That is, if I have anything to do with it. Of course, as soon as I say that, we'll have something pop up that requires our immediate travel. But really, I've had a blast on our adventures and would do all of them all over again, but I'm more than ready to just stay home and get back to normal life right now too.

2. This morning at about three minutes after eight while we were on our way to the airport, we received some wonderful news: Mark passed his board exam!!! (*choir of angels bursts into song.*....no, seriously. I know I say that one a lot about seemingly trivial things, but really. I think they probably did burst in to song at that moment. I know all of us in the car did.) We are officially, totally, completely...happily done! Yes, Mark is now Mark D. Asmussen, PA-C MPAS...meaning Mark D. Asmussen, Physician Assistant-Certified Master in Physician Assistant Studies. Thank God for abbreviations, right!?! I could instantly see a massive weight lifted off of his shoulders. He's been a hugely happy and laid-back guy since finishing his test last Thursday, but I can even see more peace in his demeanor since getting his results this morning. And I have to admit, it's a huge sigh of relief for me too! Our ship has finally come in.

3. School is soon to be in session at The Asmussen Household. As much as you'd never guess it from the looks of my often cluttered house, I'm a person who thrives on organization to not only things but time as well. Over the past many months, I've been feeling a need to develop some sort of organization to my days at home with the boys. I just don't like how on some days we do many things...lots of activities, lots of learning opportunities, etc. And on others we arrive at bed time and I have to wonder if we've read even one book that day. Other "things" seem to take over and raising the boys unfortunately takes a backseat from time to time. Just being honest. There are days like that. Where laundry, cleaning, cooking, packing, and errand-running seem to win. But I've always felt like if I developed some sort of organization to my days and my ideas of things to do with the boys, this would happen far less often. Granted, it sometimes may still happen. But maybe not as often. In my dream world it would be never. So my mom bought me the teacher planner of my choice at an educational store by their house in The Woodlands (I chose one designed for a pre-school teacher) and over the next week I plan on getting my act together and setting up goals for things I'd like to do with the boys each week. I also found a free pre-pre-school "curriculum" online that offers themes you can follow each week as well as activities, songs, poems, projects and more that accompany each theme. I'm not sure if we'll follow this exactly or not, but I'll definitely be getting lots of ideas from there. And I realize that the majority of our time will still just be the boys being boys and me being a mama. But at least I'll feel organized in my goals for them. Does that make sense? For me, an organized mama is a more peaceful mama. And for the boys, a more peaceful mama is a better mama. Which is what they deserve.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 35

2010-09-02T07:36:00.001-05:00

1. Since I wrote about poo last week, I'll write about it again this week. But in a good way! An oh-so-hard-to-believe-could-it-be-true kind of way. Rudy, my little eighteen month old dumpling, Rudy, went poops on the potty! Seriously!!! For a long time he has been curious about the toilet since he sees his big brother go in there all the time and watches me follow behind to either wipe or make sure no peepee got all over the floor or toilet. Every now and then he'll gesture that he wants to sit on the seat and so I'll put him up there for as long as he likes. Usually it's about 10 seconds. But in the past month or so, the kid as done his duty in the tub about three times. Sick, I know. And totally un-cool for me to have to clean up. But it got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, he had finally figured out his control of the matter. Literally...the matter. Why was he waiting till his diaper was off and he was in the bathroom to go? So a few days ago he came running up to me while I was in the laundry room switching a load over. He grabbed on to my leg and started making his little baby sounds. Brushing it off as just an attempt to get attention, I continued on with my task, until I saw him go grab the door frame, squat down, and start to do his business. I quickly rushed him to the bathroom, pulled off his diaper, and got him situated. A few minutes later, we had success! Kolbe and I cheered and clapped for him, though he acted as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Don't get me wrong; in no way do I think this event means that he's ready to potty train. I think we still have a little ways to go for that. But at least he's got the idea and knows that he can go potty on the toilet instead of in his diaper. I have a feeling he'll potty train much sooner than Kolbe which I'm certainly not complaining about!

2. Nothing quite says "I'm out of shape" like party hardying at a wedding and waking up the next morning feeling like I got hit by a bus. And no, I didn't have too much to drink. Saturday evening, the boys and I attended my cousin, Tim's wedding (to one of my former students, nonetheless) and had a blast dancing the night away at the reception. Mark was in Chicago and couldn't attend, so my dance partners for the evening were limited to Kolbe on one hip and Rudy on the other. They had so much fun! And it really was a fantastic reception. Sunday morning, though, I woke up and debated whether or not I should make a mad dash for the Motrin or attempt to find the nearest hot tub. This ol' bag of bones isn't quite used to so much aerobic activity in one day! Primarily it was my hips that were killing me...probably from toting the boys and dancing while wearing heals. Regardless, I took it as a sign that I need to start making at least some effort to keep my joints and muscles mobile. Who wants to have the mom that's crumpled up and looking like she's eighty-five when she's only forty-five!?! Right now, that's where I'm headed.

3. Today, right now today, right this very moment today, Mark is taking is board exam. Eek!!! I'm nervous and I'm not even the one taking the test! It's that last hurdle...that very last one that he has to jump over to make it to the finish line. Once this is over, he's done. For good! Like for.ev.er!!! No more school! No more stressing over exams! No more panicking over whether he'll make it or not! (Of course, I always knew he would...) He...I guess I should say "we"...cheerleaders get to be included, right???....finally did it! It reminds me a lot of when I was a cross country runner back in high school. There was this one course that we had to run every year in Aberdeen, MS. The very last fifty or so yards were straight up hill. As if we weren't tired and beat down enough, in order to prove that we could hang, we had to complete our sprint up a forty-five degree angle. Ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration. But after two miles of trucking it, it sure felt pretty ridiculously steep! I imagine that's what Mark is feeling like right now. But he'll make it up the hill. Even if he has to crawl. At this point, who cares as long as he makes it to the finish line. He'll definitely be the first place finisher in my books.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 34

2010-08-26T08:37:00.080-05:00

1. We survived the Colorado trip! And I must say that it was actually far better than Mark and I had anticipated. Call us pessimists, but going in to the trip something told us it might just be a nightmare. We were probably just tired from the previous two trips. And even after twelve hours travelling there, we were wondering if we should just turn back. But now we're so glad that we didn't! It was gor.geous! And we had so much fun with our family, too. It was different from our typical beach trips where we sit around and do nothing. On this trip, there was always something going on. Heck, I probably got more exercise there than I have in a long time! As for the boys, I'll give them an A- considering all we put them through. They really were great...most of the time! The only major set back was their rising at roughly 5:30 every morning. Partially because of the time difference (it was 6:30 in their little minds), and partially because they were sleeping in the room with both us and Pat and the curtains didn't completely block out the rising sun. They're used to their little nests of soft blankies, utter darkness, and white noise from the humidifier. Otherwise, I really can't complain much. I'd love to go back. And actually, we're going to get the chance sooner than later because our family reunion is being hosted very near to where we stayed next summer! Can't wait!

2. Of course, no vacation with kids would be complete without at least one little "mommy's nightmare." We ate the majority of our meals at my aunt and uncle's condo throughout the week. They make very elaborate breakfasts and each morning there was a large bowl of fresh fruit to accompany the various other dishes. Kolbe has always been a fruit lover and everyone kept going on and on about how much he was eating or how he loved the fruit. I repetitively jumped in and explained that he couldn't eat too much or he'd have bathroom problems. Sure enough, on Saturday afternoon, our last day, Kolbe came running over to me, frantic. "Mama, Mama! Me need go poops. Me need go POOPS!!!" Total panic had set in and he was crying. I rushed him as fast as I could to the bathroom only to discover that it was too late. Way too late. To make matters worse, I glanced back down the hall to see the whole family peeking in and one or two of them cleaning up "something" on the floor. I was mortified. Sure enough, that something had made its way all the way down his pants legs and left little droppings along the path. It was beyond the point of wiping him up. He went straight to the tub and got a massive rinsing followed by a full on shower and scrub down. Then I got to go at the tub with the Ajax and a scrubber. Poor kid. I felt bad for him. And for me. Just about the only good thing that came out the whole situation was that it forced me to go ahead and do the laundry at the condo instead of doing it once we got home. It sure was nice to open suitcases of clean clothes!

3. While we were in Colorado, I got to spend a lot of time with my Aunt Mara (Dad's sister), my Uncle Jeff, my cousin Sarah (their daughter), and my cousin Reed (also a Hefferly cousin from another of my dad's sisters...he is a junior at the Air Force Academy). Since returning home, I've thought a lot about them. Growing up Air Force, we were never really close to any of our cousins. Sure, we'd come to Lubbock roughly once a year and see family. And every now and then we'd some how connect with my dad's family that is spread all over the States. But never the live-on-the-same-street-go-to-the-same-schools kind of closeness that some cousins have. After moving to Lubbock to go to Tech, I naturally got very close to my mom's family here in Lubbock. I could probably tell you about each and every aunt, uncle, or cousin and what's going on in their life. And that's saying a lot, considering my mom is one of eight kids and there's something like twenty-seven grandkids. But it's not that way with my Hefferly cousins. I've seen Sarah twice since she was born. Once when she was three and they drove down for my wedding. Another time when she was four and they drove down for Andy's wedding. She's now seven. As for Reed, we used to see him every Thanksgiving when we were stationed in Mississippi. We would drive to his family's home in Georgia to share the holiday. But the last time that happened, I was eighteen and he was ten. Flash forward ten years and I'm now a married mom of two and he's a grown man pursuing his dreams of becoming a pilot. It really was a delight to catch up with these family members. To see who they are now. To see how much, despite so much time, we are so alike. To know that despite the distance, we are still family. And always will be. And it just makes me wonder about my other cousins. Reed's sisters Kristen and Madison. And entire separate family of Hefferlys with Fleming, Clancy, Mary Kendall, and Luke. I wish there was some way to bring us all back together. It's so hard once "life" begins to keep the ties with everyone else. Yet still so important all at the same time.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 33

2010-08-19T07:21:00.003-05:00

1. I'll be real honest; I'm not writing this on Thursday. In fact, I'm writing it on Tuesday. But as you read it, on Thursday, I'm enjoying a Colorado vacation and celebrating my anniversary with my husband and family. We returned home from the second leg of our travelling extravaganza late Sunday evening...I think technically it was Monday morning...spent all day Monday unpacking, doing laundry, and recovering. Today we're back to packing again. Total craziness, I tell you. Dallas was a blast though. We had so much fun visiting Brian and Cristi and just enjoyed the time away from Lubbock. Brian called us about an hour after he left and said that he and Cristi were sitting back in their apartment and feeling sad over how quiet it was. I suppose it was kind of like when the circus comes to town for them! I don't think Mark and I can even fathom what it would be like to live in a quiet house. In our world, quiet means someone is probably getting in to some form of trouble.

2. While in Dallas, I finally got to visit one of the meccas I've had on my list for quite some time: Ikea. When I have time to stalk random blogs I usually end up on ones that have something to do with crafts, sewing, or home decorating. Almost all of them mention items they found at Ikea time and time again. We all went on Sunday (kids included) and spent a few hours meandering around. Mostly I was just trying to take everything in. Next time I go, I'm sure I'll have a list of things to look for. It was overwhelming! I did walk away with a few purchases but nothing major. Among other things, I saw an adorable red dresser that I would love to have in the boys' room to replace their current 20+ year old one that nearly collapses every time I pull a drawer out. I also saw countless options of furniture that Mark and I could put in our room. Bedroom furniture for us has always been on our "someday" list. Currently we have a conglomeration of mis-matched what-ever-we-could-find type items. Like both of us have end tables for night stands--mine, a nice cherry color, and his more of a blond wood. And both dressers are of the particle board variety. But someday...someday we'll get nice matching dressers and nightstands. And maybe even the mirror that goes over the dresser!

3. The Asmussen Garden has still continued to flourish though it's been painstaking waiting for the tomatoes to ripen! How do you explain to a two-year-old that "we can pick them in just a few more days..." when a few more days turns in to weeks!?! The jalapenos have been doing great, or so Mark says. The boys and I pick them for him and he blackens them and eats them whole. No thank you. My stomach is way to sensitive! But as of today we have several jalapenos that are ripe for the pickin' and the largest of our tomatoes look like this:

Hopefully they'll be just right when we get back from Colorado and we can finally make the batch of salsa we've been planning!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 32

2010-08-12T07:30:00.001-05:00

1. We are one-fourth of the way through our month full of travelling. Translation: we've completed one of four trips that we will be taking between now and the beginning of September. With two boys under the age of three in tow, I know we're crazy and probably even unrealistic. But we're going for it. And hoping for the best. Did I mention that three of the four trips are via car? The first trip was this past weekend to Dalhart, TX. Mark's grandparents live there, so we went to celebrate Grandma's 80th birthday. While the trip was just a little over 24-hours long and completely crazy, we still had a blast and really enjoyed our visit. I particularly enjoyed getting to see the many places where Mark played as a child when he went to stay with his grandparents. I love hearing other peoples' stories. And I love just sitting back and watching people who all love each other coming together. There's just something about their faces that says "joy." The boys did fantastic in the car, both ways. It's only a three hour drive, so it was a great trip to start out with to get the boys acclimated to travelling. The only low point was sleeping in the hotel. Kolbe did fine, but Reagan was not a fan. I guess the strange noises and sights made him feel scared. He took a next-to-nothing nap and woke up countless times in the middle of the night. We've been home for a few days and are gearing up for trip number two tomorrow. We will be driving to Dallas to visit Mark's brother Brian and sister-in-law Cristi. Can't wait to go spend time with them on their turf instead of ours, how it usually is! We'll be back from Dallas on Sunday and then off on a nine hour drive to Colorado next Wednesday. I am sure that one will be the doosy! We are driving up there for a little vacation with all of my brothers and their families...except for Dave. Should be a lot of fun! After returning from that trip, Mark leaves for Chicago to attend a board review for his board exam while we stay in Lubbock to celebrate my cousin Tim's wedding. Mark takes his board exam September 2nd and after that we head to Houston to visit my parents for a few days. That trip is via plane, thank God! Why all the travelling? Well, Mark starts his new job on September 13th and we're pretty sure we won't be travelling much after that! Better enjoy it while we can!

2. This past weekend, prior to going to Dalhart on Saturday, I went to Midland to be with Mark for his final white coat ceremony. And I went alone. Sans the boys. My mother was coerced in to flying up to watch them for one evening so I could go up and attend Mark's class party on Thursday evening and then the white coat ceremony on Friday. It was the first time that I've left Reagan for an evening. Ever. Of course I was a little bit apprehensive and talked about the boys the entire time and worried about them and wondered how they were doing, but everything went just fine. And as I came to discover, I think it's probably a good thing to get away every now and then. Even if it is just for one night. Thinking about them and missing them made me realize how blessed I am to have them. I think there are times when I'm burnt out and feel the strain of mothering twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Having that one day away reaffirmed how much I love them and how precious they are to me.

3. So if you haven't figured it out already, Mark is D-O-N-E!!! (*choir of angels begins singing*) As of last Friday he is completely finished with PA School and has just one major hurdle ahead of him: his board exam. This is a time we knew we'd eventually reach, but it always seemed like it was so far off. And now that we're here, it feel so strange! No more school! Mark has been in school for our entire relationship. And now he's not. Hooray! And you know what, I am SO proud of him. Proud enough to use caps, bold, italics, and underline. He has worked so hard. Seriously, so hard. Never giving up despite the mounds of other stuff going on (can we say several surgeries for child #1, second pregnancy for wife, birth of second child...all of which occurred while living over one hundred miles away from mentioned persons...) It has been tough. Real tough. But all things worth doing come at some form of a cost, and you know what? We wouldn't change anything about all we've been through to get to this point. We're exactly where God wants us to be and it's such a good feeling. So what's next for us? Mark has accepted a job here in Lubbock with a team of neurosurgeons. Brain surgery. Scary, huh!?! I've already told him not to bring work home...ha! But again, I couldn't be prouder of my husband and I'm so excited for the next chapter of our lives!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 31

2010-08-05T07:34:00.030-05:00

1. Mark has been gone this week and boy, has it been brutal! I almost always take for granted the sheer relief that his simple presence in our house brings. On a typical day, the boys and I go, go, go all the way up until dinner time. Toys, books, parks, walks, errands, meals, crafts...I do my best to make the day-time hours full and eventful. So by the time Mark gets home from work, we usually eat and then I manage to stumble to the couch and collapse. The boys still continue to play and do more "stuff" like books and baths and jammies and whatnot, but for those few hours before bed, Mark and I are able to collaborate on all the chores as well as have time to visit with each other. It's less direct one-on-two care of the boys like I give them during the day and more just hanging out as a family. But when he's gone, the boys don't seem to be able to make that differentiation. Dinner wraps up, and they're still demanding full attention. Seriously, last night, I gave up and just laid on the floor and let them climb all over me instead of playing chase like Kolbe wanted. "Dog-pile Mama" was just about all I had left in me. Thank God Mark is just in Midland for this week. And thank God he's not in P.A. School there in Midland during this stage of the boys' lives! I realize that I did this every day, every week for a year and a half a while back, but I had an fifteen-month-old and a newborn...not a two-and-a-half year old and a one-and-a-half year old! Babies are exhausting because you don't get much sleep; toddlers are exhausting because they are physically exhausting! Literally...Exhausting.

2. Did you know that Pop-a-Lock is free if their visit involves extracting a baby? It's true. And yes, I learned this from experience. Yep, yesterday I had an ultimately-bad-mom moment and managed to lock poor Rudy in the car. With the keys in the ignition. Really, I had the best of intentions. We arrived home from the grocery store and one of Kolbe's favorite songs was playing on the radio. After turning off the car, he begged for me to turn it back on so he could dance. Obliging, I turned on the battery so the radio would play but didn't crank the car. After unbuckling both boys, I decided to let them climb out on their own so they could dance while I carried in all the groceries. (We were in the closed garage.) After a few back and forth trips, Kolb came in and said, "Mama, open door so me get in car." Upon returning to the garage I found all the doors of the car closed. With Rudy inside. Car still on. Baby hysterical. Hoping against hope, I frantically tried to convince Ru to hit the unlook button on the door. I knew Kolbe could do this so surely Rudy could too! Yeah, right. Within minutes his whole head was covered in sweat and his wailing only made it worse. I immediately called Pop-a-Lock and put in a request for them to send someone out, explaining that it was an emergency and my seventeen-month-old was in the running vehicle. Meanwhile, I continued to try to comfort and coax the little guy into hitting either of the buttons on the door. At one point he did hit the window button, opening the window just a crack. Cheering, congratulating, praising...nothing could convince him to do it again. So I began trying to stick things through the window, trying to reach the buttons myself. I thought I might have had it with Mark's fishing rod at one point, but it just continued to slide right off the button. Finally the Pop-a-Lock guy arrived and freed my poor soaking wet, red-faced baby. And wouldn't you know it, his crying stopped instantly. He wouldn't even stick around for a minute or two to let me hug on him. Just ran right off with Kolbe to continue their daily shenanigans. The Pop-a-Lock guy explained that most people call 911 (duh.) and so they have a contract with the fire department. When someone makes a 911 call with this situation, both the fire department and Pop-a-Lock get dispatched. If the fire department gets there first, they usually break out the window. So he congratulated me for just calling them instead and said that there would be no charge since it would actually be filed with fire department. Kind of a nice consolation for such a horrible event. Like lady, you're so ridiculous for allowing this situation to happen that we're going to spare you the financial burden since you're quite obviously burdened already. (*Laura bites bottom lip and hangs head in shame*)

3. Toot, toot! Yep, that's me tooting my horn. Why? Because I accomplished something that I've always wanted to do. Well, I guess I shouldn't say always, considering I've only known how to work a sewing machine for about one year now. But when I was little I always liked quilts and thought they must be amazingly hard to make. And then when I started sewing last summer, I decided that if I ever figured it all out, I would make a quilt some day. I never thought I'd be able to accomplish it just one year later! But alas, I have managed to make a completed I-spy quilt for the boys and I am so proud of it! Actually, it's kind of one of those things where I look at it and think Man, twenty years from now I'm going to look at this thing and cringe at what a horrible job I did! But it's my very first so it's not supposed to be perfect. And really the only parts that I think are kind of bad involve the actual quilting. The quilting itself is hard. Unless you have a big machine that does it for you. I did mine completely with a free-motion foot on my machine, meaning I had to manually feed it all through there myself and create a free-hand pattern by moving the quilt around in squigley patterns. It was tough! Luckily, Mark took the boys to the park for a good forty-five minutes after their nap on the day I quilted it so I could finish. And then hand stitching the binding on took another several hours as well. Now I can see why quilts are so expensive and so precious to so many families. And I must say, that I have loved the reaction to it that I've gotten from the boys. The quilt has eighty-eight squares, each with a different object on it so we can lay it out on the floor and play I-spy. They love it! Kolb is great at finding the items I spy, while Rudy just points at any random object when I call something out. It's adorable! From what I had heard, most sewers either love quilting or hate it. I definitely loved it and look forward to starting a new one soon! Here's a little peek at my first quilt:

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 30

2010-07-29T07:22:00.002-05:00

1. Yesterday was no bueno. Actually, it really wasn't that bad. I'm just too much of a perfectionist. I don't allow myself to make mistakes.
Ever.
Especially when they're mistakes that cost us money....Money that we don't have!
So what did I do that was oh, so awful? Oh, only ordered my husband's seventy-seven dollar white coat about four sizes too small. And honestly, I thought I was being the best wife ever when I ordered it. Back in May he handed me a paper from his teachers in Midland explaining where you could get really nice white coats for their white coat ceremony. He has spent a full year wearing a really crappy short white coat during his clinical year and I wanted him to have a really nice long one for beginning his career as a PA. (short is for students, long is for clinicians) So I placed an order on May 10th from one of the sites recommended on the handout and planned on giving it to him as a surprise for Father's Day. Then I got the email confirmation saying that shipping usually takes about EIGHT weeks for custom orders. So there went the Father's Day idea. And here we are just over ELEVEN weeks later. Just a week before the long coat ceremony. The coat is beautiful. Nice, luxurious white cotton. Just small enough to fit me, not him. Somewhere in my ridiculous mind I ordered him the completely wrong size. Oh, and only coats that are not embroidered can be returned. Too bad I spent the extra money to have his name and credentials embroidered. Erg. And there's absolutely no way to let it out a bit. If only it had been a little too big. So off Mark went to the local scrub shop to pick up one of the cheap, crappy ones similar to his short coat. And once it's embroidered, I think we will have dropped roughly $120 and walked away with a yucky, crappy, cheap-o long white coat. Congrats, honey. I know, I know. I need not be so rough on myself. But 99% of the time, I can correct any little problem, fix any little mishap. It's that measly one perfect where there's absolutely nothing I can do that just kills me! Especially when there's money involved! I can't help but mentally list all the things I could have used that wasted money for. Instead, we have a $77 white coat to add to the Halloween costume box.

2. Want to know what's not cool?
The terrible twos.
Want to know what's really not cool?
Two children in the terrible twos.
That's right. My sweet little dumpling, Rudy has decided to join the ranks of other pre-two-year-olds that decide to give the terrible twos an early go. And don't get me wrong. He's not that bad at all. And neither is Kolb for that matter. But he has definitely decided to develop a little mind of his own all of a sudden. And picked up on a few actions that I certainly didn't teach him! Kolb, on the other hand, is on his way out. Not that he's suddenly become an angel. He still likes to rock his crooked hallow. But the reason he is on his way out, is that he's beginning to understand the choice to be good or bad. He's aware that he can be good. Or he can be bad. Here's a scenario from this week:
...Kolbe is playing with something he knows he's not supposed to touch...
Me: Kolbe, go put that back in the closet, please.
Kolbe: No, me just do dat one more time.
Me: Kolbe, I just asked you to put that away. Please go put it up.
Kolbe: NO!!!
Me: Excuse me? Go to your room please.
(crying, fit-throwing begins, though he does go to his room as told. Two minutes later I retrieve him from his room to rejoin society. We begin looking at books when I notice that Reagan has somehow found a passie that obviously had been overlooked. He's not supposed to have one unless he's in his bed so I snatch it from his mouth.)
Me: Rudy, you're not supposed to have a passie right now, baby.
Rudy: Uhhhhhh....wahhhhhhhh!!!
(He turns and gives me his best tear-stained, lip-pouting face, waits a sec for my response, wails even louder when I shake my head 'no', and then has the audacity to rear back and hit me on the top of the head with his closed fist.)
Me: Rudy Mark! Absolutely not, mister. We do not hit!
Kolbe: Mama, RuRu be bad boy dist like me be bad boy.

mmmmm-hmmmm. See. He knows.

3. It has been a while since I wrote about something around the house that I just love or am thankful for, but I've gotten a few new things recently that I just can't go without mentioning. You may remember a while back when I wrote about how I loathe vinyl table clothes. But some brilliant genius somewhere has created a solution! (enter singing angels) While looking for a birthday present for my brother at Bed Bath and Beyond the other day, my mom and I came across a these tablecloths that profess to be "fabric with the ease of vinyl." Hmm. A tablecloth that doesn't look like vinyl but acts like vinyl? I'm in. And you know what? It totally lives up to all that it professes to be! Looks like a pretty tablecloth, but everything from milk to ketchup to applesauce to spaghetti sauce has wiped right off just as if it were vinyl. And it's not one of those tablecloths where the liquid just beads up on it but the stains set in. It literally acts just like a vinyl tablecloth but doesn't look anything like one. Plus, it matches my kitchen, to boot! And the 20% off coupons that show up in the mailbox all the time help off set the slightly-more-than-vinyl price. Totally worth it.

three thought thursday: episode 29

2010-07-22T07:53:00.004-05:00

1. This post will more than likely have very few capital letters in it. or symbols that require the shift key. why? because my adorable son, rudy, managed to permanently rip off one of the shift keys and permanently disable the other to the point where you have to hold it down forcefully in order to make it work. who has time for 'forcefully' when trying to type fast/ ....yep, that slash is a question mark without the shift key. normally i attempt to be pretty diligent about keeping the laptop on a table that's out of his reach. actually, he can reach it, but he's unable to lift it and therefore can't open the top. but the other day after nap time, i was in the boys' room helping kolbe put his shoes back on while reagan toddled out to the family room. apparently i wasn't on my a-game and managed to leave the laptop sitting wide open on the couch. kolbe and i walked out to find him going to town on the laptop like an everyday news journalist. you would have thought he was frantically trying to beat a five o'clock deadline for his weekly column. i'm not sure what was so attractive about the shift keys. maybe they were weak of character in their making. 9hahaha9...yep. parentheses. oh well. my brother dave tells me you can get replacement keyboards for this pitiful dell online for a mere 410. that's ten dollars. the 4 is a dollar sign.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2. we got to see my sweet little nephew, jackson twice in the past week. and of course his lovely mama, casey, too. 9isn't it sad how once the kids come along the parents are somehow forgotten///9 casey and jackson came to levelland from boise to stay with her parents while mike was tdy in pensacola. we went out to their house on friday night for a yummy lasagna dinner and then again yesterday for a lunch consisting of brisket, beans, potato salad, homemade bread, and a scrumptious dessert. did i mention that casey's mom, miss lynette is probably the best cook ever? hey1 the shift key worked on that question mark. anyway, baby jackson is just super sweet. and it's almost spooky how much he looks like his father. it's like an infant version of mike. and cuddling him just made me realize even more how much my babies are not babies any more. not even rudy. he's totally turning in to a real boy. but in my mind he's still a baby. always will be. kolbe too. but goodness, there's still nothin' better than cuddling an infant.

3. on the rough side of our second visit to levelland, we had quite the meltdown yesterday afternoon due to the off timing of our regularly scheduled naps. i like to think that the boys are pretty flexible. and they are. gone are the days where we had to say no to attending events or gatherings that didn't fit into their typical routine. but sometimes things just don't go as smoothly as how i hope they will. when my mom, who is in town to take care of my other nephew, john, told me we'd be going out there for lunch at noon, i quickly sketched a game-plan in my mind. kolbe can manage to put off the nap a few hours...rudy will fall asleep on the ride out to levelland...that cat-nap will tide him over a few hours...they'll both fall asleep on the way home from levelland and can finish their naps at home...things went exactly according to plan. rudy napped on the way out there and the boys were both really well-behaved. they had a great time and no fits all the way up to the point of getting into the car. and even the ride home part went as planned. but the ride home part didn't even start until 3pm. so inevitably, kolbe's nap lasted from 3 to 4:30. a far cry from 12 to 1:30. normally at 3pm he has been awake from his hour and half long nap for ....well, an hour and a half. so when he woke at 4:30, which would normally be about 30 minutes before his typical dinner time, he was all kinds of out of sorts. crying, fussing, disoriented. wouldn't let anyone touch him except for me. refused any form of typical comfort. snack. drink. cuddles. he just was not happy at all. which just went to show me that despite the fact that he's growing up faster than i can keep track of, he is still a child. and man, do they ever thrive on a schedule! a routine! something that is normal to them. 'cause when things aren't normal, there's no telling what's going to happen but there's a good chance it won't exactly be enjoyable for either kiddo or caregiver.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 28

2010-07-15T07:45:00.098-05:00

1. If you live within a twenty or so mile radius of Lubbock, you're well aware of the fact that it has rained off and on for about two weeks. More on than off. And at one point I think it didn't stop for a good 48 hours straight. I'm usually not one to complain the rain. But then again, it's usually refreshing. It's usually a nice cool-down to the hot summer days. It's usually enjoyable. Call me a grouch, but this time around the rain has kinda turned into a bit of a drag. Lubbock is now super steamy. A la Houston, TX. Icky. Sticky. Sweaty. As if we weren't already cooped up in the house during all the rain...now we can't be out there for more than a few minutes without Kolbe getting completely flushed and Reagan breaking out in heat rash. Not to mention...

2. The mosquitoes. Ugh! The mosquitoes! With all the standing water around, they're throwing quite the reproduction party across the whole city. It wouldn't be so bad if Kolbe and Reagan didn't react to the bites so ridiculously. We're talking golf to tennis ball sized welts. And it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't bite through your clothes. Seriously! I have a mosquito bite square in the middle of my back. I know I haven't be outside without a shirt on any time recently! And it wouldn't be so bad if they didn't seem to be somehow immune to bug repellent. So annoying! I completely douse the boys and myself in bug spray before going outside and they still manage to attack us full on. Reagan looks like a spotted leopard. And Kolbe is working the huge-growth-on-the-side-of-his-head look. Adorable, I know. I tried some of the Avon lotion stuff yesterday and it actually worked better than the regular spray on stuff. And I intend to try out the treatment you can hook up to your hose and spray in the yard and trees to kill the skeeters and their nests. Hopefully that works; otherwise, we're stuck inside for a while longer.

3. We'll stay on the outdoor/results-of-rain theme. But I'll stop with all the complaining. On a positive note, the multitude of rain has managed to add quite a bit of green to our yard. The grass...er, weeds....have never looked so lush! Mark cut the lawn and within three days it needed cutting again. But better than the green lawn are the beautiful flowers! Many many months ago I wrote about trying to develop my green thumb. And I'm so excited to see the fruits (literally!) of my labors come to fruition. Just thought I'd share a few pics of what's going on in the "Asmussen Garden" since the flood of rain kicked things into high gear. Hope they bring a little sunshine to your Thursday!

Verbena...grown from seeds.

Zinnias...grown from seeds.

These actually look better in person than in this picture. They've ended up being one of my favorites. They're called bachelor buttons...or cornflowers. We grew these from seeds too. They kind of looked like weeds in the beginning but turned into the cutest little wildflowers.

I forget what this one is called. But it's pretty, right!?! It's some form of a succulent (stores its water in its leaves like a cactus). We did not grow this one from seeds. Rescued it from the dying plants cart at Walmart for $1.00. It's been pretty...and not dead...ever since!

And we finally found a good place for the Jesus statue from Popo's backyard. I bought a bag of caladium bulbs for $3 and planted them in a semi-circle around the statue back in March. Having forgotten to water them, I just assumed they were dead. But about a month ago, they started sprouting up. All six of them! Love caladiums! And the same bulbs can be replanted next year. No need to repurchase.

On to the produce. These are the tomatoes that we grew from seeds. They started in tiny seed pots. Then we moved them to a bigger pot. And finally Mark's dad came over and helped me transplant them into the ground. Now they've turned into these huge bushes. And prior to all our rain, I was kinda sad that they hadn't started producing any fruit. (despite the fact that Mark's dad told me it would probably be August before they did...)

Until I noticed these three tiny little tomatoes yesterday! Yea! I'm not sure if you can even see them in this pic. They're like the size of a peanut right now. But I can see them. And I'm excited! My very first produce! Ever! (I know...I sound like such a novice...)

And here's our jalapenos. They're much much smaller. Small, but mighty!

This plant actually has 4 jalapenos growing on it right now. I sense yummy salsa with our jalaps and tomatoes in the near future!

Kolbe Kwotes: 2nd Edition

2010-07-12T12:59:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd pop in and share a few "conversations" in case you were interested in eavesdropping on our little Kolbe. He is such a hoot! And oh, so smart!

Most often I hear Kolbe repeating things I say; however, lately he's been more prone to repeat things that Mark says frequently. One of these sayings happens to be "Dang girl!" It comes about it expressions such as "Dang girl! Why did you make all these cookies!?!" or "Dang girl! You got all that done today!?!" So the other day Kolbe was trying to tell me something in his special little Kolbe language....
Kolbe: Where's me's tugol go?
Me: What?
Kolbe: Me's tugol.
Me: Say it again???
Kolbe: ME'S TUUUUUGOL!!!
Me: Kolb, I can't tell what you're saying!
Kolbe: Dang, gul! I said. Me's. TUUUUUGOL!!!!
Me: You're turtle?
Kolbe: Yeah! Me's tugol!!
Me: Oh. So-rry.

A while back we were traipsing through Walmart picking up a few odds and ends. Reagan was in the cart and Kolbe was walking along behind me.
Me: Come on Kolbs. Keep up with Mama.
Kolbe: Me's wants to walk s-yow.
Me: Well Kolbe, people need to get by us. Do you want me to carry you?
Kolbe: Yes. You carry me.
Me: (after picking Kolbe up) Good grief, Kolbs! When did you get so big!?!
Kolbe: Monday.
Me: Oh really! Monday?
Kolbe: Yes. Monday. Me's gets big on Mondays.
Alrighty then.

Kolbe has become quite the disciplinarian for Reagan. Unfortunately. I often tell him he's not the boss, but he's determined to be a typical first-born....
Reagan: Waaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Eeeeeeeee!!!! Uuuuhhhhhhhh!!!!
Kolbe: Mama!!! RuRu whining!!! RuRu whining!!!
Me: Kolbe, Reagan's fine. He's just fussy cause he's hungry. I'm getting your lunch ready.
Kolbe: You tops that, RuRu! Yock it up! (Lock it up!)
....That's definitely one he picked up from Dada.

From time to time I add the word "boy" to the boys names. Such as Kolbe Boy or Rudy Boy. On top of that, I love to make up little songs using the boys' names. This morning while we were playing with puzzles, Kolbe started singing his own little song made up of both of these habits....
Kolbe:   Kolbe Boy, Kolbe Boy.
             Rudy Boy, Rudy Boy.
             Dada Boy, Dada Boy.
             ....(long pause)........
            Umsbody Boy, Umsbody Boy.
            Umsbody Else Boy, Umsbody Else Boy....
Me: Kolbe, Who is "umsbody"???
Kolbe: You know. Umsbody else. Like Uncle Brian.

He has also become very thoughtful and conversational recently. Like he is finally aware that people have different experiences than what he's having at any given time. The other night Mark and I went to a wedding. Kolbe and Reagan stayed with Mark's mom. On the drive home, Mark and I were talking to each other about people we had seen at the wedding while Kolbs and Reagan sat in the back listening.
Kolbe: Mama!
Me: Yes, Kolb?
Kolbe: Mama, you have a good time at wedding?
Me: Well as a matter of fact, I did.
Kolbe: Un-huh. You did. And me's has good time at G-ma's. Good time.

Hopefully it won't be long before we have a post like this about Reagan! He's kind of following in Kolbe's footsteps and not saying much just yet. He likes to do his signs but still just grunts and moans a lot. Kolbe went through the language explosion around two, so I'm sure the same will happen with little guy! Love my babies!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 27

2010-07-08T07:50:00.002-05:00

1. On Tuesday one of my girlfriends, Lisa, gave me a great treat. She came and watched the boys in the morning so I could go indulge in a little guilty pleasure of mine: a viewing of Eclipse. Yep, I'm one of those crazies that loved the Twilight series of books and can't get enough of the movies either. Slightly embarrassing, considering I'm a mom of two and obsess over a story-line based on high schoolers (kind of...). But hey, it's a little somethin-somethin I can enjoy completely separate of the kiddos, and lets admit it, it's fun getting into a good story line with unique characters that carry admirable qualities. And no, seeing a couple of good looking fellas on the silver screen isn't exactly torture, though I do feel like a bit of a perv for thinking so! The better looking of the two guys is younger than my baby brother! Creepo. The movie was great (the best one so far), and it was fun to get out with a couple of girlfriends during the hours when I'm normally ankle deep in toys, changing dirty diapers, or applying a fresh coat of medicine to an out of control mosquito bite. And even better, when I got home, it was nap time so it was like back-to-back me time. Score.

2. Yesterday was a total bust. I suppose that's what I get for such an awesome Tuesday. I stayed up reading way too late on Tuesday night and was not so happy when Kolbe stumbled in to our room at 4:15am soaking wet. We went to the bathroom, got him cleaned up, and back in his bed, but not without waking up Reagan in the process. By 5:00am I had all parties involved back to sleep, just to have Kolbe return at 6:00am....with Reagan hollering in the background. To clarify, these guys usually wake up around 7:30ish. And to add to it, Kolbe stayed up way too late the night before. Things just continued to unravel. Kolbe threw a colossal fit in Target because we didn't have time to stop and look at the toys. Reagan threw an entire carton of yogurt on the floor. And on and on. These things probably wouldn't have bothered me so greatly had I gotten enough sleep the night before. Why is it that after having a baby, you can easily get by with four to five hours of sleep and still somehow have enough energy to keep going!?! And here I am with two toddlers and I go one night with less than seven hours of sleep and completely lose it!!! I suppose it's got to be all those great post-baby hormones that provide the fuel to keep you going. I could have definitely used a big dose of those yesterday, because, as always, probably the biggest factor in a bad day with the boys isn't the boys; it's me and how i deal with them.

3. We are soooo close to being done with PA School. Soooo close. Actually, Mark's final white coat ceremony is a month from this past Tuesday. Granted, he doesn't take his board exam until September 2nd, but it still feels like it's just around the corner. I can taste the freedom of no school. Mark has literally been a student for our entire relationship. Dating included. It will be so weird, but so great to not have school to worry about! Not to mention a paycheck to live on instead of financial aid. School has always been a big black cloud hanging over our heads and both of us are thrilled to give it the boot. We're not crazy enough to think that there won't always be something to provide us with stress, but at least we'll have the future paved and be on the road to great things for our little family. Can't wait!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 26

2010-07-01T07:36:00.001-05:00

1. Kolbe has developed the sneakiest little habit. Every day when he stumbles out of his room after his nap, I ask him: "Kolbe, are you wet or are you dry?" He used to tell the truth. But that was before he put two and two together and realized that 1) he knows where his dry undies are stored and 2) he's fully capable of changing his undies on his own. Most days he comes out and is, in fact, dry. But then there are days when he comes out and the convo goes a little something like this:
Me: Kolbe, are you wet or dry?
Kolbe: Dry.
Me: Kolbe, I'm pretty sure you had on your truck undies this morning.
Kolbe: Me wanted to wear me's Buzz Lightyears.
Me: Well where did the trucks go?
Kolbe: In me's hamper.
Me: Well are your truck undies wet or dry?
Kolbe: ummmm.....
Hey, on a positive note, at least I don't have to change the wet undies! But he fails to realize that it's more than just his undies that are wet when he has an accident. That part still gets left to good ol' mom.

2. My birthday was way too wonderful this year! It was celebrated on two separate days and was so much fun! As I wrote last week, it kind of seems like turning a non-significant age like twenty-eight is about as exciting as sweeping the kitchen floor...not horrible, but certainly nothing to rejoice over. But after so much fun and attention from my doting husband, family, and friends, maybe birthdays are something that should be amped up, no matter what the age! And it must just be blatantly obvious that I'm obsessed with sewing. I got five gift cards to either Joann's, Hobby Lobby, or Hancocks. FIVE! And two to Target! My heart has been fluttering ever since! Hey, at least my loved ones know me well! They really really shouldn't have gotten me anything, but the fact that they did just adds to my obsession. I'm sure you all can see the wheels in my head turning...

3. Notice anything special about Three Thought Thursday: Episode 26? I'm half way there! Hard for me to believe. I set out at the beginning of the year in hopes that I could force myself to write and exercise my noggin at least once a week. And honestly, around March I was starting to think it was a bad idea. But now that I've gotten in the routine of it, I must admit that I really love coming up with three little things to talk about each week. It's been a pleasant outlet to talk about things Kolbe and Reagan could care less about and Mark probably isn't interested in hearing when he gets home from an exhausting day of work. Who knows, you, dear person reading this thought, may not be interested in most of the stuff I have to say either. But thank you for reading anyway! As a stay-at-home mom, there's often times where it feels like I have absolutely no contact with the outside world...or with anyone over the age of two. And even if you are just reading this and aren't exactly holding a conversation with me, it still feels like someone is listening to me. Like I'm being heard, in a way. So thanks!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 25

2010-06-24T07:54:00.001-05:00

1. Yesterday was Kolbe's first official dental procedure. (other than a cleaning) Before he was born, he developed a little pocket up in his gums where his cleft is. The pocket itself isn't a problem right now, but food and liquids are able to get up in to the pocket which has led to decay in his right front tooth. The plan was to do a crown on this tooth to prevent further decay but after beginning the procedure, the dentist found that his "shark tooth" (a tooth that has grown in behind his front tooth) was too close and decided to just do a filling instead. At first he doubted that Kolbe was old/mature enough to make it through the procedure. He normally doesn't even attempt it on kids younger than three without putting them completely under. He was so impressed with Kolbe at his first appointment that he decided to go for it with him. Kolbe came through with flying colors. We showed up around 8 and they had him drink some special medicine (Demerol) to give him a somewhat sedated demeanor. After hanging out for about an hour while the medicine took effect, they took us back and got started. Kolbe was a little nervous when they made him lay back on the chair and hooked him up to the blood pressure monitors, but he quickly relaxed and was nothing but compliant for the rest of the procedure. They hooked him up to some nitrous oxide before injecting his gums and finishing the filling. It only took about ten minutes total. The dentist had told me that if at any point they had to hold his arms down, they would just stop the procedure all together; they weren't going to restrain him. But Kolb kept one hand on his blankie and the other on his belly the entire time. He was absolutely great and did everything the dentist asked him to do. Didn't even flinch at the creepy drill noises! What a trooper!

2. Ok, I'm traditionally an American sports fan (football, baseball, basketball...), but I have to admit that I've gotten a little bit hooked on the World Cup. I'm sure my brother Pat would have a heart attack to read such an admission. And don't get me wrong; I can't bare to watch an entire match start to finish. Not enough offense. It's like watching a football game that ends 7-0. Or watching hockey. Or watching nascar. I have to have something else to do while watching and just look up when I hear the crowd or the announcers get excited. But I will admit that I was a bit peeved when I discovered that Kolbe's dental appointment would take place during America's game against Algeria. As soon as we got home I pulled it up on the ol' tivo, clicked play, and watched it from the beginning in super fast speed, only keeping my eyes on the score box in the top left corner. If the score changed, I would stop and watch the goal. But it never did. Till the very end. And what a great goal and win for the U.S.A! I definitely was excited that we won and am pumped that we're headed to the round of 16. Now will I become a big soccer fan? Probably not. But hey, it gives me a sport to get in to until football season starts.

3. Tomorrow is June 25th, the glorious day of my birth. A day that held such excitement in many years gone by, but seems somewhat inconsequential now. Yea! I'm twenty-eight! (...snore, snore...looks down and files nails...) But really, I suppose, it is something worth celebrating. All life is worth celebrating. And twenty-eight years ago my awesome mom did her best to bring mine out into the world. And I've been loving it ever since. Mark has been reading a book that I gave him for Father's Day and one of the chapters was about asking yourself the question How do you want people to remember you when you die? I told Mark that I wanted to be remembered as someone who loved God, who loved her husband, who loved her children, who loved her family, and who loved life. And it's true. I love those things more than all else. So I suppose my birthday is another chance to celebrate the opportunity I have to continue to love those things with all my heart until God calls me home. I'm not one of those people who fears getting old. You won't see me getting botox to hide my wrinkles. I already have some right now. And I actually like them. They're evidence of many smiles, countless conversations, and lots of laughter. I hope that someday I'll be a wrinkly-faced old lady with time-worn hands. Evidence of a life well-spent.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 24

2010-06-17T07:40:00.002-05:00

1. Kolbe spent the night out for the first (real) time this past weekend. No exclamation point on the end of that sentence as I'm filled with mixed emotions. Thus far, Kolbe has always been very attached to his mama. Don't get me wrong; he has managed to develop many very meaningful relationships with other people, but has always been a mama's-boy at the core. He has spent nights away from me on two previous occasions. The first was for three nights when I was in the hospital having Reagan. Pretty much unavoidable. But he was still staying at our house. In his own bed. The second time happened when we were travelling down to Houston a while back and he flew down an afternoon early with my mom. The following morning Reagan and I joined them. So I wrote it off as a travel incident. But this time it was all on his own deciding. He made the choice to spend the night out. And was completely ok with it. Mark and I had a date night and Mark's mom, Miss Lora, was gracious enough to watch the boys for us. After returning to her house around 9:30, we found both boys still wide awake. Of course there was no debating with Reagan; he was headed home with Mama and Dada for sure. But Kolbe teeter-tottered back and forth between wanting to stay and wanting to go. His usual method is to say that he wants to spend the night and then as soon as we start loading up the car, he changes his mind and insists on going with Mama and Dada. But this time I tried very hard to reassure him that Mama and Dada would be back for him in the morning. That he'd get to spend the night on grandma's big bed and cuddle up real tight and in the morning we'd be there to get him. I guess he believed me and as Mark, Reagan, and I loaded up the car, he stood on the front porch with Miss Lora excitedly waving goodbye. Mark and I were both certain that we'd be receiving a phone call momentarily informing us that he was freaking out and we needed to come get him. The time passed, and the call never came. As we put Reagan to bed in the boys' room, Kolbe's empty bed sure looked lonely. It just didn't seem right without him in there. Mark asked me if I was ok with it and I told him I was. After all, he is growing up. He made the choice on his own and I have to be willing to let him have his little tastes of independence when he approaches the buffet of life. As promised, Mark was waiting at Miss Lora's house for Kolbe before he woke the next morning. Not only was he oh-so-excited that he had spent the night with "G-ma," but I'm pretty sure that it just about made Miss Lora's entire week. Totally worth it to make them both happy!

2. So that one little thought could have been an entire post, right? Sorry.
Last week kicked off the beginning of two of our summer activities that we'll be enjoying this year: swim lessons and gymnastics class. Gymnastics class is filling in to replace music class which wasn't being offered this summer as the beloved Miss Kris is on vacation. It's at one of our community centers and I signed both Kolbs and Rudy up for the class. Needless to say, Kolb is one of the class's "more elite" performers and Reagan could easily be pegged the class clown. Miss Hedi is teaching the boys how to do basic motor skills such as bear crawl, frog hop, stretches, walking the balance beam, etc. Kolbe can do them all with little effort. Reagan simply runs around snatching the rings she sets on the ground for the kids to tip-toe through. Too bad they don't offer trampolining. Kolbe is the only one I signed up for swimming classes. (Thank God, right!?!) It's a mom-and-me type class that they have at Tech. Realistically speaking, he's really not learning anything any sensible parent couldn't come up with on their own. Splashing in the water, kicking in the water, blowing bubbles in the water, jumping in to the water, going under the water. Pretty simple. But my thinking on it was that we don't know anyone who has a pool and Lubbock is pretty much horrible when it comes to community pools. I wanted him to at least get the opportunity to gain some experience in the water and have some fun swimming. Not sure if we'll do it next year or not. I definitely can't handle two in the pool without some sort of flotation device to assist me and I'm doubting Mark will be able to guarantee his attendance twice a week in the evenings. Might just have to wait till Kolb is old enough to attend the real swimming lessons and Reagan and I can go to mom-and-me. Note to self: must find friend with pool.

3. Do you ever have days where you feel like you've totally got your A-game on? I do. Rarely. But every now and then, I do. Like once a year. If that. Usually it's a steady B, occasional C or D, and the rare but still present F. Yesterday was totally an A-game day. Here's how it went:
- woke up, got the boys dressed, fed them breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, headed outside
- pulled weeds for a good 30 minutes with my assistants who don't know weeds from grass
- fertilized the plants with my assistants who don't understand why it's bad to pour the fertilizer directly on to the plant instead of into the soil around it
- visited Miss Debbie, Kolbe's old sitter with my assistants who were oh-so-happy to run around on her hardwood floors
- stopped by Holland Gardens with my shopping assistants and picked out two lovely jalapeno plants
- returned home, fed boys a deliciously healthy lunch of turkey, cheese, and strawberries
- put boys down for nap
- listened to boys do shenanigans and giggle while sewing a new changing pad cover for our changing table
- actually got boys to sleep
- sewed a teeny tiny little dress for "baby," the doll that Kolbe carried around when we were trying to get him used to the idea of welcoming Reagan in to our family. Baby has been naked since we permanently borrowed her from Popo's house. It was only fair that she had an outfit of her own. And since "she" doesn't have to be a "he" any more and I'm out numbered 3 to 1, I decided "he" should be a "she" and made her an adorable little dress. Much easier than attempting pants and a shirt.
- put away sewing and went out and planted new jalapeno plants beside the tomato plants in the backyard. Made sure the little fence was secure around them so the animals...er, boys...wouldn't touch them.
- hosed down back of house to wash off dust from latest dust storm
- woke the boys from their nap
- changed Kolb's sheets from his unfortunate accident
- made a loaf of banana bread with my sous chef Kolbe while Regan played with Mark who had returned home from studying
- read books with the boys
- vacuumed and cleaned up toys
- made a dinner consisting of pork chops, noodles, peas, rolls, and gravy (also with my sous chef) and enjoyed eating it with the whole fam
- took Kolb to swimming lessons and endured thirty minutes in a freezing pool while pretending I was having the best time of my life
- returned home, bathed the boys, got them ready for bed
- bathed myself (yes, it is a required step in an A-game day)
- played with kids more
- put kids to bed
- marvelled at how well the day went!
Now if only I had done it all in heals, I could have added a plus to that A! Ha ha! I love days that run smoothly like that. The other days are great too, but man, an A-game day every once in a while is so rewarding! Cooked, cleaned, gardened, shopped, and sewed all in one day!?! Sweet. I'm usually lucky to hit about two of those. So now you know what a day in my life looks like. I'll get back with you soon on the play-by-play events of a day contributing to my lower-than-4.0 GPA. It certainly won't look nearly as earth-conquering.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 23

2010-06-10T07:40:00.002-05:00

1. Things have finally settled down a bit around here. I guess we're getting back to normal after our crazy May. One thing that has always made me slightly cringe before travelling is the thought of having to "get back to normal" with the boys after returning home. In previous experiences, Kolbe in particular did not fare well with returning to our boring ol' lifestyle after having so much attention from my parents and other family members. Each trip involved at least a weeks worth of acting out and breaking the rules until we could establish our routine again. Don't get me wrong...my parents try to do their best to maintain our rules while we're there, but there's just so much excitement, so much fun, so much attention! I don't blame him for getting home and thinking hey! why are we just sitting here reading books? The backyard?!? You can't be serious, lady! Not to mention the broken sleeping routine from staying up later than normal! But I guess my little guy is growing up a bit. I braced myself for the standard week-long recovery from our recent trip to Houston, and wouldn't you know it, I don't even think it took a day. Kolbe is finally starting to get the concept of "the way we roll." Certainly helps me out a bunch!

2. Mark's cousin Melisa has an adorable little girl named Hayden who is just a few weeks older than Reagan. Hayden's regular sitter is on vacation this week so she has been staying with the boys and me. It has definitely given me a perspective of what it might be like to have twins! And honestly, I don't think it would be as rough as I once thought. They're at the same stage, have the same needs, like the same things. Just double whatever I'm doing for one! Not that I'm trying to have twins any time soon or anything! Also, it's been fun to have a little girl around the place for a while. They're so different than boys! Soft, dainty, cuddly...gentle. Now that's something I really wouldn't mind having in the future!

3. As always, Kolbe cracks me up with some of the stuff he says. Here's his conversation with Mark and me a few nights ago:
Mark: Kolbe, is Pinkie a girl or a boy?
Kolbe: Gul.
Me: Kolbe, is Uncle Pat a girl or a boy?
Kolbe: Boy.
Mark: What about Uncle Andy?
Kolbe: Gul! (he, he, he, he)
Me: Oh, don't be silly! Uncle Andy isn't a girl!
Kolbe: Uh-huh! Yeah!
Me: (curious as to what he would say in response...) No, what do girls have, Kolbe?
Kolbe: PONYTAILS!!!
Oh so observant! Little stinker!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 22

2010-06-03T07:31:00.009-05:00

1. Yesterday, I took Kolbe to the movie theater for the very first time! The Cinemark theater here has a summer program where every Wednesday morning at 9:00am, you can bring your little ones to the theater to watch an old kiddie movie for just one dollar. Granted, the movies being shown aren't the current movies out at the theaters, but they're still relatively fun kid movies. I was fairly certain that Kolbe wouldn't make it through the whole movie, and I was right. He can follow the plot of a book, but not a lengthy movie! At first he was very excited about climbing up the steps to find a seat. And the massive screen was quite impressive. But about thirty minutes in he had already started in with the "go bye-byes" and "me go play, Mama." He's definitely an action boy! Unfortunately, the movie being shown appeared to be something from the seventies about a penguin trying to find a pebble. Maybe the next time we attempt it, I'll make sure it's something a little more entertaining and less musical-y. It was still so much fun for me to get to see him experience the theater for the first time. Too cute! I'm pretty sure this same summer program is available at most of the Cinemark theaters across the country. If you're interested, check out the cinemark website for more information or to see if your theater is participating. It's a steal for just a buck!

2. We have a wonderful shed/workshop in our backyard that serves as awesome storage for our family. Apparently the previous owner built the shed shortly before he sold the house to me and never got around to painting it. And here we are six years later, the shed still unpainted. Every time my dad comes to visit he mentions how if we don't paint it, it will eventually start rotting. So last Friday we got busy and four gallons of paint later, finally had a painted shed on Monday. I must admit that the shed does look a million times better. It was once a greyish color that resembled a wood fence that hadn't been stained. Now it's a lovely tan that matches the trim on our house. And I'm sure the paint will help preserve the shed for many years to come. And to be completely honest, I love, love, love doing home improvement projects. There's something about good ol' manual labor that feels so rewarding at the end of the day. Plus, the actual improvement to the property is a reward in itself. Now if only I had enough money to fund the four pages worth of home projects that I've dreamed up!

3. Mark's graduation and party two weekends ago went so well! We feel very blessed to have so many supportive family members and friends surrounding us. Mark received many generous gifts that we are so thankful for. One of them just happens to be something he's been greatly desiring for quite some time: a hammock. Every time we go over to his cousin Mika's house, he's quick to run out back and chill in their hammock. At least once every visit he asks Mika's husband Larry "Where did you get this hammock?...How much did it cost?" Sure enough, Mika and Larry surprised Mark with a hammock of his own! We finally got it set up properly in our backyard a few nights ago and have been loving hanging out in it. I'm pretty sure that when I was a baby, I probably loved the baby swing. Every time I get in the hammock I manage to doze off! Nice little cat nap! The boys love climbing in and cuddling too. In the cool Lubbock mornings this is so much fun. Of course, when they want to do it at four in the afternoon, it's pretty much miserable! Overall, it's definitely a fun little addition to our backyard. Can't wait till the fall when I can take a real nap out there without roasting!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 21

2010-05-27T07:30:00.001-05:00

1. So as previously mentioned, I am currently on "vacation" down in Houston with the boys. Unfortunately, vacation has turned in to taking care of sick children in someone else's home. Remember back in February on our last trip to Houston when Reagan's barfing episode happened? Well this time around we've been blessed to not have to mess with anything toilet related; however, this time it has been both boys instead of just one. We made it down here on Sunday with the big hyped event of the trip, going to the zoo, being scheduled for Tuesday. On Monday we had fun going to the park, going to the splash pad fountains, and eating at Johnny Rocket's. We planned to leave for the zoo the next morning at 8:00am but around 4:00am Kolbe woke up with a blazing fever. All I had on hand was my NFP thermometer and he certainly didn't want his temp taken but after sticking it under his armpit I got a read over 103 degrees. We were up for almost two hours doing cool compresses and trying to get fluids down. Pinkie had to run to the store to track down some ibuprofen and acetaminophen for the fever. Needless to say, the zoo trip was squashed. Once Reagan woke up, we discovered that he had a fever too. Not as high as Kolbe's though, thank goodness. So we spent all day Tuesday attempting to control their fevers and keep them happy. But as is customary with most children, when they're sick they only want their mama. Kind of hard when they're both sick! And both want to be held. At all times! When the medicine was working, they were both completely their normal selves. But when it started to wear off, it was all drama and emotion. We were able to talk to my mom's neighbor whose boys' had a similar bug and she said that essentially it's just a fever. No other symptoms. The only problem is that it lasts several days. Not just twenty-four hours. So yesterday was spent doing much of the same thing. Attempting to do a few little fun things here and there while the medicine was in effect and then grinning and bearing it when the temps went up again. Thank goodness for Pinkie and Pa's extra hands! Guess the zoo trip will have to be postponed till our next visit.

2. My mom and I managed to sneak out (while the meds were kicked in) and head to a specialty bra store in Houston the other day. Both of us needed help in this department for entirely opposite reasons, if you know what I mean. I remember getting fitted for a bra sometime in my high school years but as that part of my body continued to change with the addition of motherhood to my life, I had always just desperately searched for anything that would fit. (and probably spent way more money on bras that didn't fit than I would have spent on a few nice ones that did if I had only gone in to get fitted!) Though it's slightly embarrassing, I must admit that it was nice to have a "professional" tell me exactly what I needed to buy to support "my people." And she gave me several other good tips that I never knew before. Like that 90% of your support needs to come from the band, not the straps. Shoot, I've been relying on the straps for years! Or that your band should only be able to stretch out about two inches from your back. If it stretches more, you need a smaller band size. So I needed a 32. Not a 36. Doh. We were in the store for over an hour but left with some awesome goodies that are sure to make my back feel a whole lot better, now that I have the right support! And call me crazy, but there's something secretly enjoyable about wearing new undie-gear. Like a new dress or new shoes, except it's a secret. You're the only one that knows about it and gets to enjoy it! One of the joys of womanhood!

3. Though it's quite shameful, I must admit that I'm a hopeless reality TV junkie. Mark always asks, "So which one of your shows is on tonight?" Pretty sad, huh. While there's countless reasons for watching them (such as mind-numbing entertainment or something to gaze my eyes on while tutoring online), there's plenty of reasons not to watch them too. This spring I literally had three reality shows that I followed: Survivor, The Biggest Loser, and Dancing With the Stars. I haven't watched Survivor since 2001 when Colby, a Tech grad was a contestant. And the only reason I watched it this season was because he was back on the show again. I've always been a Biggest Loser fan because I think the point of the show actually has merit though it's not something I personally am connected with. And as for Dancing With the Stars, it's really something my mom adores and so I started watching it on her insistence so that we could have something fun to talk about. (yes, we sit around and talk about other peoples' lives and dancing abilities.) Plus, the former dancer in me can't help but enjoy watching them dance and thinking oh I remember learning a sequence like that before or ooo, it would be fun to do that number! Mark doesn't usually like for me to watch it in front of the boys because of the scantily clad women on the show. I agree; I don't want our boys thinking that's normal. But I do have to admit that I watched this entire past season either live or tivo-ed and was sad to see it end this week. Same with Biggest Loser and Survivor. I guess now that my trio of pointless, mind-numbing, exhausting shows is over, I'll actually get some more sewing or house work done in the evenings... And probably wait for the fall when they start up again!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 20

2010-05-20T07:09:00.001-05:00

1. So if you haven't seen the pics on our family blog already, you definitely need to check them out! Yes, I officially became a godmother this weekend when my little nephew, John, was born. I've only seen pictures of my other nephew, Jackson, but based on those and the looks of baby John, it's safe to say that Mark and I have the cutest nephews in the world! Combine that with the cutest little sons in the world and I'm pretty sure they're just the most adorable set of cousins God could have ever created! I can't wait till Memorial Day weekend when we can finally get them all together! While I didn't exactly plan to be at the hospital while John was being born, I was blessed enough for it to end up working out that way. I picked up my mom at the airport around 1:00 in the afternoon, we picked up lunch for Andy and Abby's mom, Mary, and then headed to the hospital. Mom and I got to go in and visit with Abby for about twenty minutes and no sooner did we get back to the waiting room than Andy came in to announce that it was time to push! Being the nosy person I am, I snuck down the hall with my mom and literally walked up to the cracked-open door just as John was coming out. Hearing the sounds of his birth...the counting, the pushing, the doctor's excitement, his sweet little cry...were some of the sweetest little sounds I've ever heard. With my two C-sections, it was something I had never experienced before (other than the little cry, of course!) and it was just so special to me! I'm so glad the timing worked out so well. It's an experience I'll never forget!

2. Sometimes it seems like we go through phases where nothing is going on. Then there are others where it's complete chaos. Starting today we are entering one of those times that fits into the latter category. My parents are coming back in to town today (they just left on Monday), Mark's hooding ceremony for his master's is on Friday morning, his graduation is on Saturday morning, followed by his graduation party on Saturday night. We (the little boys and me) then fly down to Houston on Sunday morning for a short vacation with my family and fly right back up on Thursday with my parents in tow. By then, my big brother Mike, his wife Casey, and the aforementioned Baby Jackson will all be in town for Memorial Day weekend. Both Jackson and John will be baptized at our church on Sunday morning. Whew! What a fun, exciting, crazy, and exhausting way to round out May! Hoping and praying that it all goes smoothly!

3. Speaking of travelling, I must say that it is so nice to have finally entered the stage with the boys where all their gear and baby paraphernalia doesn't require it's own suitcase. I remember flying down to Houston with Kolbe when he was just under two months old for his first appointment at the Shriner's Hospital. He required an entire suitcase. And one that was bigger than mine! Blankets, burp rags, his special bottles, lots of changes of clothes, diapers, wipes...the pack list went on and on. Now, when packing for Kolbe and Reagan, it's as simple as throwing a few outfits in the bag and being on our way. Sweet. Now if only it was that simply to pack for myself!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 19

2010-05-13T07:02:00.001-05:00

1. I had an awesome Mother's Day! It involved these things:
    - mass
    - a donut
    - roses
    - steak from Texas Roadhouse but not at Texas Roadhouse
    - my china that we never use
    - a nap
    - cuddling with the boys
    - a new rotary cutter and mat (more on that later)
    - Target
    - a new body pillow
    - a surprise homemade key lime pie (my fave) courtesy of my brother, Dave
    - a long, hot shower...the kind where I actually get to shave
So yeah, pretty much perfect. Don't you agree? Mark was super wonderful and made the day very special for me. Relaxing, enjoyable, fun!

2. I'm getting old. Or old-er at least. No, I don't think twenty-seven is that old. I just had this little revelation this past week in the form of my skin. For just about as long as I can remember, I've always had to wear oil-free moisturizer on my face. And usually one with some type of acne medication in it as well. No, I've never had true acne. Just skin that was prone to little break-outs whenever I didn't take perfect care of my skin. But in the past few months my face has been terribly dry. We're talking the kind of dry where, when you scratch your forehead, little flakes of white float off. Gross. The kind where when you put make-up on, it looks all blotchy and uneven. Also gross. So I tried out a little bit of Reagan's Cetaphil lotion on my face fully expecting it to break me out within one day's time. A week later, I'm still using it and my skin has never looked better! Aha! I have regular woman skin instead of teenage-y skin! Kind of makes me feel a little more...mature, I guess.

3. I've been wanting a rotary cutter and mat for a long time. For those of you who aren't sew-ers, it's basically like a pizza cutter but for fabric. I know, I know. These are usually for quilters, which I am definitely not. (yet.) But considering my less that stellar wrist joints, when I go on a big sewing kick I usually end up with a lupus flare. So when I saw the rotary cutters and mats on the cover of the Hancock's ad at 50% off, I inconspicuously circled the ones I wanted. Ok, ok. I circled them, drew a line to the price, showed it to Mark, and told him I wouldn't mind those for Mother's Day. Pathetic, I know. But I've been in fabric cutting heaven since Sunday! I literally busted out my bag of scraps and just shredded a bunch of them up. So much fun! Wrists hurt much less, fabric is cut much quicker. Sweet. And it cuts tons of other stuff too! (like my knuckle. Oops.) Can't wait to break that thing out when it comes time to wrap Christmas presents!

A Tale of Two Brothers

2010-05-07T08:34:00.003-05:00

When I was pregnant with Reagan, I imagined him to be just like Kolbe. Naturally, right? They were going to be brothers, after all. But a little over a year in to Reagan's life, it's crazy to see how much they're not alike. At all. It's certainly not a bad thing. They're just different. Two totally different types of people. Let's break it down:

Looks:
Have you seen these two?!? If it wasn't for one of them looking exactly like me and one of them looking exactly like Mark, I'd wonder if one was switched at birth!
Kolbe: It's crazy to look at some of my toddler pictures and then glance over to Kolbe. He's virtually me with a boy haircut.
Reagan: While he doesn't exactly have Mark's coloring (unfortunately for him), Reagan is a spittin' image of his father. And more specifically his father's father. He too looks so much like Mark's baby pictures! Minus the fact that Reagan is still relatively bald and Mark had hair by then!

Skin:
Kolbe: Oh, what I wouldn't give.... He was lucky enough to inherit a chunk of his Hispanic roots in his gorgeous skin. He's got that lovely type that even when doused in sunscreen still somehow manages to tan. Not fair.
Reagan: Haven't I already mentioned his eczema!?! Poor child. The Asmussen side is still claiming responsibility on this one. Grandpa Maury battles with the same problem. I have a feeling he'll be a dermatologist's nightmare.

Little Bitty Baby Bodies:
Kolbe: I'm not quite sure where he got his build from...maybe Pinkie? She's 5'2" and barely 100 pounds soaking wet. Sounds like what Kolbe's going to be at age 25. He's tiny. Age: two-and-a-half. Height: 33 inches. Weight: 25 pounds. Sadly, he easily fits in to clothes that are size 18 months. And since he's been potty trained and doesn't wear a diaper, even those are pretty big on him in the waist and butt.
Reagan: He is his daddy re-made in this department too. He's a bruiser. And we aren't talking chubs. We're talking broad and muscular. There's not a single roll on his body but he's got big ol' thighs, a big ol' booty, and a big barreled chest. Even as a one-year-old! He walks around with this wide gait and looks just like he needs to have on a letter jacket and be strutting down the hall like the head of the football team. He's not exactly tall at this point, but I doubt if any of our kids will be. He's definitely got quite the athletic build though. And the most squeezable booty ever!

Personality:
Kolbe: Where to begin? I'm sure if you've read any of my other posts, you're gathered plenty of knowledge on this guy. Reluctantly, I guess I'll take responsibility for his "strong-willed" nature. I think it's safe to say that he's his own mother's son. He's funny, smart, goofy, out-going, sassy, silly, crazy, and so much more. He definitely has a mind of his own. One that is going twenty-four-seven! And he's totally sneaky too. Very determined. Tell him 'no' and he hears 'yes'! The word "Kolbe" is synonymous with "raggamuffin" and "shenanigans." He's the king of both. So much fun!
Reagan: Oh, my little dumpling. He is just the kindest, sweetest, tenderest little ball of love around! His gentle little soul definitely doesn't match his "meat head" appearance! He loves to offer the sweetest hugs to even the most random of strangers. He loves exploring, touching, and observing. He almost always has a smile on his face. And he is so eager to please. If we so much as give him the hairy eyeball he pulls out the most insanely pitiful pouty face, does about three deep breaths and bursts in to tears. He doesn't want to disappoint! Such a tender-heart! Just so much to love on!

Sleep:
Kolbe: I'll attempt to make this not sound like he's the reason I loathe the evening hours when I should be enjoying them. Sleeping has always been an issue with Kolbe. He doesn't seem to be much of a fan of it. After Reagan was born, it was impossible for me to be bedside with him until he decided he was ready to fall asleep so we began trying out several methods we found in a book called The No-Cry Sleep Solution. (I think we used the toddler edition) After three or four months of really working at it, he was finally able to go to bed on his own without much of a hassle. It was heavenly. But then about three or so months ago, he developed a bit of a knack for getting out of bed. Not in the middle of the night (thank God). We're talking about once we've put him in there initially. He somehow thinks it's his right to be able to participate in absolutely any activities going on in the house. So if Mark and I are out there watching TV, he should be allowed to as well. He can't stand not being a part of the action! His goal in life is to not fall asleep until everyone else in the house is asleep. And he seems to care less that we're at our wits end with it! Just go to sleep, kid! You'll thank us for it some day!
Reagan: Once upon a time I wrote a post about how I was close to reaching the break-down stage with this guy's sleeping habits. He would wake up three, four, up to five times every single night. It was exhausting and breaking me down physically and mentally. I guess he finally reached the point where he realizes that mama and dada are still there and he's safe and he can go to sleep with no worries. Literally, you put this guy in bed and he falls asleep as soon as he hits the pillow. My parents were in town last week and one day at lunch time I took an obviously tired Reagan from his chair and put him back in his bed. When I came out my mom asked where he was. I told her to which she replied, "Oh, I didn't tell him ni-night!" She rushed in to find him sound asleep. A total of maybe thirty seconds had elapsed. Not even kidding. He and Kolbe share a room and he sleeps through Kolbe's shenanigans every single night. He's the world's best sleeper. I think everyone wishes they could fall asleep that fast and sleep that soundly. Hope the gift carries through into the rest of his life! Must be nice!

Eating:
Kolbe: For the most part, Kolbe is picky, picky, picky. But he is a fan of strange non-picky eater foods like salad and fish. He'll even throw down on a big bowl of beets with me. I think a lot of his picky-ness is due in part to his palate issues. We could not get him to eat meat for the longest time. He'd put it in his mouth, chew it up and then just before swallowing would gag and take it out, placing it back on his plate all chewed up. Lovely image, I know. He still has a problem with sandwiches. The bread sticks to his palate and then it's all down hill. He's also the one of our two children who has been majorly corrupted by his grandparents who love to sneak him little tastes of everything sweet and non-healthy. Pa even once fed him a whole grape soda! He definitely has a sweet tooth like his mama! And he's willing to try pretty much anything that's doused in ketchup. Not too sure where he got that from... : ) One thing he adores is chips and salsa. Seriously. He'll sit there with Mark and the guys and throw down on a big bowl regardless of how hot it is.
Reagan: Rudy is our little food compactor. He will eat anything and everything that his little gummy jaw can get down. This includes but is not limited to all forms of meat, veggies, fruits, breads, sandwiches, crackers, pastas, acorns, and rocks. Luckily, he hasn't managed to swallow any of the last two items. He's a fantastic eater. And a big drinker too. He goes through twice as much liquid as Kolbe does! Always thirsty! And always hungry too. He's still in that ruled-by-his-stomach phase of life.

Just the two of us...
The boys share one of the sweetest little budding friendships I have ever seen. While a lot of their interactions up to this point have revolved around Kolbe antagonizing Reagan, they have finally started to play with each other as friends. I love looking out in to the backyard and catching Kolbe pushing Reagan in the car. Or when I give Reagan a few marshmallows and he goes over and gives one to Kolbe. Or when I look over and Kolbe is "reading" Reagan a book. Or when Kolbe says, "Me juice, Mama." And I say, "Ok, Kolbs." And he says, "RuRu too. RuRu juice too." They're always looking out for each other. That sweet little brother relationship where they may be at each others' throats one minute but you cross one or the other and it's on. Since Reagan doesn't talk much yet, it's hard for him to express his connection to Kolbe. But it's been so fun to hear Kolbe say things about Reagan that show how he feels about him. The other day we were teasing him and said, "Who's you're best friend, Mama or Dada?" To which he replied, "No. RuRu." Or when I say, "Kolbe, let's go get in the car." And he says, "RuRu go too? Me go, RuRu go." Or even when he gets in trouble: "Kolbe, let go of Reagan. Stop pulling on his arm." ... "Waaa! RuRu, me's baby, Mama!" I guess you can't have one without the other!

Check them out here.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 18

2010-05-06T07:22:00.001-05:00

1. I finally ~~succeeded~~ completed making my very first garment. Thus far in my sewing adventures I've just done baby stuff and straight line type things such as curtains or aprons. A while back my mom picked up a pattern that I saw online for a knit dress. I probably shouldn't have selected my first garment-sewing project to be an item made of knit. It's definitely not the easiest to sew with. But hey, it's comfortable. And I like comfortable! It took me roughly three nap times to complete the dress and I was actually quite proud of the finished product. Mine came out looking pretty much just like the sketch on the front of the pattern! The only problem is that being both knit and designed with lots of gathers, it easily looks like something I could wear into my final months of pregnancy. Well fitted with an empire waist, but just so flowy and gathery that I could easily be hiding a baby bump under there. Which I'm not. When I'm pregnant, I love looking pregnant, but when I'm not, I'd like to look as close to my non-pregnant self as possible! Hey, at least I have something to look forward to wearing the next time around...

2. I thought I'd change things up and write about my something-I-love second instead of third. (Watch out! She's getting a little rebellious over here!) Back on Valentine's Day, Mark surprised me with a new bottle of perfume. I guess he noticed that my old bottle had all but run dry. Or maybe he was just tired of the scents of spit-up, dried snot, spoiled milk, or urine that usually followed me around. Either way, he hit the Dillard's perfume counter with a limited budget and decided on "Fancy Love," a perfume by Jessica Simpson after trying out several alternatives. Random, I know. Lord knows I'm the farthest thing from "fancy." Or from Jessica Simpson, for that matter. But I'm certainly glad he chose that one, because I've gotten nothing but rave reviews on it. I love the scent. It's quite heavenly. Not too florally, not too sweet. Honestly, it has a soft sort of baby smell to it. Like what you'd imagine the scent to be in one of those Anne Geddes photos. But also packs a good womanly punch. The funny thing is, I put it on in the mornings and it makes me feel kind of pretty and girly even though I'm usually looking rough. But then I usually can't smell it within an hour or so. Until someone comes up to me and says, "What's the perfume you're wearing?" And for some reason, that always makes me feel so good! It's like when someone says, "Aw, you look great!" I'm about 93% sure that they're lying. But when they say I smell good, I know they're sincere! My favorite was when one of my friends was kind enough to let me come over and love on her new baby. A little while after I left she sent a text asking me about the perfume 'cause she kept smelling it on her little boy. Too funny! Maybe I should just wear it when loving on little girls! Thanks again, love, for the awesome confidence-boosting gift!

3. On Sunday/Monday/Tuesday of this coming week we will be hitting some big milestones at the Asmussen House. On Sunday, Kolbe will be turning two-and-a-half. Craziness. It still seems like yesterday. And then on Monday, Reagan will be turning fifteen months old. Not as big of a milestone for most babies, but big in my mind because if Reagan was Kolbe, he'd be welcoming a new baby brother on Tuesday. That fact totally blows my mind. Reagan was born the day after Kolbe turned fifteen months. Reagan still seems like such a baby to me right now. And for some reason, Kolbe, at that point didn't. Maybe it was that he had already been through so much. Three surgeries, tons of eating difficulties, countless doctor appointments. Heck, at fifteen months, he had already been on five round-trip flights! And maybe it was that since I went back to work after Kolbe was born, I missed so much of his first year of life. So I couldn't fully see how much of a baby he still was. Then again, maybe it was that I knew I was about to have another baby to care for, so Kolbe didn't need to be the baby any more. He needed to be a big brother. Even though he really was just a baby himself. Every now and then I still get a little emotional about Kolbe's first year. Man, was it a far cry from what I expected when I dreamed of being a mother. He had to "grow up" so fast and for so many different reasons. While I know God most definitely has His reasons, my heart still sometimes breaks for the little guy. I just want the absolute best for him. He deserves it. But man, oh man, am I so happy for the gift of Reagan. God absolutely knew what He was doing when He gave him to us. After all, if it wasn't for Reagan coming along, I'd probably still be working full time and Kolbe would probably still be at his sitter's day in and day out. So while Reagan's birth may have thrown off Kolbe's world quite a bit, it ultimately gave him two huge blessings: a stay-at-home mama and a baby brother who will be his lifelong best friend. I can't even begin to fathom having another baby just five days from now. Heck, I've barely begun to get my head above the water from the first two! But if and when God decides to bless us with another little one, I look forward to the many trials and adventures that will be sure to follow. This is, after all, what I've always dreamed of. And over the past two-and-a-half years, the God who made my dreams come true has done a miraculous job at showing me just how strong I am. Way to go, self. And happy mother's day to all you mama's, mama's of mamas, soon-to-be mamas, and later-to-be mamas out there. The work you do changes the world!

Kolbe "Kwotes"

2010-05-02T23:08:00.000-05:00

Back to the firecracker!

Kolbe Kolb is just a few days away from being two-and-a-half. I can't believe it! We've made it half way through his third year of life! And my, have things changed in these past six months. The most notable, of course, is Kolbe's new found ability to express himself in actual words. He went from saying roughly eight to ten words at age two to pretty much endless talking all the time at two-and-a-half. It has made life much, much simpler for me, now that I can understand what he wants. On the contrary, there have been multiple times where I've found myself thinking Now, now, self...I know you'd give anything right now for him to stop talking, but try to remember the time when you were desperate just for him to say anything at all!

Mark says that when I type "Kolbe Kwotes" on here spelled all incorrectly 'cause I'm trying to document the way his precious little dialect sounds, people aren't going to understand what I'm trying to say and therefore won't read it. If such is the case, too bad! After all, in 2026 when my little guy leaves for college, it will be me who will be reading back through all these posts and hearing that little voice in my head like it was yesterday. I know these posts seem small now, but gosh, they are going to be invaluable to me some day! So here we go with some of my recent faves:

Kolbe: Mama, Pa's boots bown wif spots. (yes, they're brown ostrich skin boots)
Me: Oh, really! You're right. They are brown with spots.
Kolbe: And me's boots are back wif bumps. (black fake alligator skin boots)

Me: (upon hearing Reagan crying) Uh oh. We better go, Kolbe.
Kolbe: Betta go? RuRu eepies? (sleepy)

Kolbe: Mama, me coobies nacks?
Me: You want some Scooby snacks?
Kolbe: Yeah. But no dib dat to RuRu. RuRu go *insert gagging sound*. No eat dat, RuRu! Tay?
Me: Okay, I'll just give them to you. I'll make sure RuRu doesn't eat that.
Kolbe: Otay. Dood job.

And now for the cringe worthy ones...
Kolbe: (upon watching me sprinkle a little powder in Reagan's diaper) Dat, Mama?
Me: It's powder for Reagan's diapie.
Kolbe: Me have dat?
Me: No, you don't need any powder. You don't wear a diaper. You wear undies. I just put powder in RuRu's diapie to keep his bottom fresh.
Kolbe: Me puts powda in me's undies keeps me's winger fesh.
(Dear Lord, please don't let him say that one in public!!!)

And last but not least....
Typically Kolbe does not watch me get dressed. Door knob cover, mind you. But a week or so ago he somehow wandered in to my room while I was dressing and caught me in my bra....
Me: Kolb, let Mama finish getting dressed. I'll be out in a minute.
Kolbe: Mama, RuRu eat dose boobies?
Me: (with what I'd imagine to be a terrified look on my face) Excuse me!?!
Kolbe: (wide-eyed and fearful) RuRu...dink...Mama's....moke....dose boobies?
How do you recover from/respond to that one!?! I was hysterical! (yes, laughing. Not crying...though I probably should have been!!!) I guess that comment was par for the course after watching Reagan nurse for so long. Now if he says that one in public, people are going to think I'm letting my child watch sick college humor movies. Eek! That's my Kolbe, for ya!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 17

2010-04-29T07:43:00.002-05:00

1. This week promises to probably be the shortest Three Thought Thursday yet. I don't have much to say. In fact, I feel kind of silly writing at all. Like what do my basically irrelevant thoughts matter when there are much more important things going on in peoples' lives. I guess I'm sort of feeling that way today because two friends of mine are both going through hugely difficult things that make my world of fussing and pouting babies seem pretty trivial. I'm constantly reminded of how blessed Mark and I are. Really, truly, blessed. For everything- literally everything- we have.

2. Speaking of blessings, it seems like every time I write, it's about the firecracker in our family, Kolbe. Reagan rarely makes the headlines unless it's to discuss his lovely skin outbreaks. But let it be known that Reagan is precious, amazing, and just so stinkin' cute. It blows my mind that he is nearly the age now that Kolbe was when Reagan was born. Yep. He'll be fifteen months in a few weeks. He still seems like such a baby but is developing a little personality of his own. Still not much talking. Lots of grunting and growling and he's even starting to use more signing. For the longest time he'd just stare at me and smile when I'd sign to him. Like Wow, Mom! You're weird! ...Entertaining, but weird! I guess he finally put two and two together. He cut two bottom teeth this weekend and they've been giving him a heck of a time. He woke up crying in the middle of the night around 2am two nights ago and I snuck in there and sat on the edge of Kolbe's bed and just held little Ru for a good half hour. He's so big now. But I still love cuddling my baby.

3. We finally put some top soil and mulch down in our front garden yesterday. Seriously, I've owned this house for almost six year now and we're just getting around to putting down some soil and mulch. Pretty sad, huh? Not because we didn't want to, it's just that landscaping stuff is so expensive! Sheesh! But once again, I'm terrified that we're going to have to sell our house on the spur of the moment and I don't want to have to do all these things all at once. Throwing out some mulch and potted plants is far less costly than actually landscaping the whole thing. Kind of like a fake Louis Vuitton purse. Gets the point across that you're trying to be stylish and trendy, but without the ridiculous cost. And no, I don't have one of those. I wouldn't be kidding anyone. You all know I'm broke.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 16

2010-04-21T23:53:00.000-05:00

1. Time to take a visit to the mommyhood confessional. Up until this week my nearly two-and-a-half year old has been using a passie while sleeping. I know. I'm cringing too. The thing is, Kolbe didn't even learn how to suck until after his palate surgery when he was one. For bottles and his beloved passie, he always just chewed on the nipple. So when he moved from his bottle to his sippie cup, we let him keep the passie but only at night or during his nap. It was such a comfort item to him that we felt bad trying to get him to learn all these new skills while taking away something so constant to him. But another year or so has passed and the obsession with passie has just continued on and on. Passie is not supposed to leave his bed but as of late it has been emerging all the time. Any time he doesn't get his way. Any time he gets hurt. Any time he's bored. I'm all about allowing Kolbe to have things that comfort him. Heck, I could never imagine taking away blankie from him. But passie had turned in to this crazy game of I'm-not-supposed-to-so-I-want-to-even-more. With the birth of my first nephew a few weeks ago, I came up with the idea to give Kolbe the "opportunity" to send baby Jackson his passies. He totally agreed to this exciting idea and was completely cool with it. Until bed time, of course. He knew where they were but was having such a hard time accepting it! The conversations went a little something like this:

Kolbe: Mama, Mama.

Me: What, Kolbe?
Kolbe: Idunno.

Me: Ok.

Kolbe: Mama, Mama.

Me: Yes, Kolbe?
Kolbe: Help me.
Me: Help you do what?
Kolbe: Idunno.

He just wasn't sure what to do without passie. I lay with him and we cuddled close and he was asleep within minutes. Same with naptime. He's done better and better and his worries about passie being gone have seemed to subside. Plus, he just beams when we sing his praises for being so generous to his new cousin. We make sure to tell everyone we know so that they can tell him they're proud too! Mark and I took him to bed last night and we all cuddled. After quickly falling asleep, Mark said, "Gosh, he's not a baby anymore." I think he might be right.

2. Things have been a little harried in our neck of the woods lately. Especially with Kolbe, as always. He is an absolute dream with babies but the whole brother-who-steals-my-thunder thing has not been vibing well with him lately. And I hate it. 'Cause it feels like I'm always on to him. And I don't want our relationship to be that way. A few nights ago, Mark decided to hit the sack a little early and I found myself not tired enough to sleep. So I picked up a parenting book I had started once upon a time and it was like God was throwing me a lifeline. I immersed myself in thirty pages or so and came across things like:

-"Stopping bad behavior is parenting at its most basic and least rewarding." (Amen.)

-"It is nine billion times more important to teach a child what to do in the first place than it is to teach them what to stop doing."

-"Effective discipline...seeks to command obedience by strengthening relationship."

-"Parents must constantly fight the temptation to practice what we call "Ex Post Facto Parenting." This is a parent's temptation to leave our children to their own devices until there is a problem, at which point we go in to crisis/punishment mode trying to solve a now-intractable problem that could have been prevented had we only been paying attention in the first place."

A lot of ideas I came across while reading were things I think I've been subconsciously aware of all along, just too "busy" to connect with. Reading it all typed out on paper made so much sense. And while it's easy to want to slap my own wrist and say Come on, self. Look how you've messed up already! The truth is, I have two children who are fifteen months apart. I'm the first to admit that for a good chunk of time there, I was in total survival mode. And poor Kolbe never had the opportunity to learn the right way to do certain things. Like interact appropriately with someone fifteen months younger than him. Someone he has to share everything with. Someone who gets some of mom's attention some of the time. Now that the insanity level has dropped a bit, it's time for me to set aside the "me" stuff (you know, the stuff that's already been put aside for the past few years...) and focus on helping Kolbe understand the way this world works. We had a fabulous day together yesterday. And I'm hoping, praying, and working for the best for today. (by the way, all the quotes are from Parenting With Grace: A Catholic Parent's Guide to Raising Almost Perfect Kids)

3. We now how one of these lovely gems in our kitchen. Yep, we went through with getting the new dishwasher with our Christmas money and couldn't be happier so far. Mark and I even installed it ourselves! We were quite proud considering that neither one of us has much experience in the handy-man department. It's so nice and amazingly quiet. But the best part is that what retails for $549 only cost us $215 after all the sales and rebates. Can't beat that kind of a steal! Our only fear is that my cousin got an identical one (except for color) and hers is making a strange sound. Plus some of the people who reviewed it online said theirs made a strange sound too. Eek. I'll keep my ears pealed, but for now, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt. I love it!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 15

2010-04-15T07:48:00.000-05:00

This hasn't been a good week in Mommyland, so sorry if this post comes across as a giant complaint!

1. We'll start with something slightly on the good/cool side. Kolbe is becoming more and more autonomous. Little things that used to require Mama's help are now simple for him to do on his own. In fact, he has just recently started going to the bathroom without even telling me. He'll disappear and I'll go to track him down. Upon arriving at the bathroom door, I call out, "Kolbe?" "Me's going poops, Mama." Too funny.

This morning's happenings went a little like this:

Me: Let's get dressed so we can go eat breakfast, Kolbe.
Kolbe: Eats. Yogurts. for Breakfast? Mama? (yes, he does pause between each word...)
Me: Yes, we can eat some yogurt for breakfast. Do you want to get dressed first or Reagan?
Kolbe: Me. Den Rudy.
(I dress Kolbe, put him down and move on to Reagan. Kolbe disappears. Kolbe returns to the room by the time Reagan is dressed.)
Me: Ok, let's go eat, guys.
Kolbe: Mama. Me. Rudy. Eats. Yogurt!

Upon arriving in the kitchen, I'm astonished to find two cartons of yogurt set out on the table. One at Reagan's seat and one at Kolbe's. And each had a spoon beside it! Sheesh. My little guy is growing up before my eyes! A tiny little part of me did make a mental note: Self, you do realize that now that he is starting to do lots of tasks for himself, he's going to be getting in to more and more that may not run as smoothly as this episode. And then another part of me is saying: Self, this guy can get his own breakfast! Convince him that he shouldn't come in and wake you up until he's done with breakfast! Heck, what else can you train him to do on his own!?! Ha ha! I'm proud of my little guy!

2. On to the not so pleasant topics:

My poor little Reagan has developed an icky case of nummular eczema. I'm not exactly sure what makes it "nummular"...that's just what Mark calls it. Something to do with the little circles it makes all over his legs, arms, back.... He's had this eczema for a long time. It's just really gotten worse in the past few months. I'm not sure if it's due to us being outside in the dry, Lubbock weather a lot more than in the winter or what. And it doesn't seem to itch. He's never scratching it. It just looks horribly painful and has moved from just his legs to pretty much his whole body except his face. Eczema runs in Mark's family so we aren't surprised that he has it, and his pediatrician has basically said that we've just got to do the basics to treat it. There's no real way to get rid of it. I don't want him to be stuck inside all summer. He loves to play outside! We've tried everything: hydrocortisone (1/2% and 1%), Cetaphil, udder cream, Pond's dry skin cream, Vaseline, A&D ointment, colloidal oatmeal baths. The list goes on and on. This is the point where I wish I had one of those blogs that like a thousand people read so I could request advice and get tons of feedback with all kinds of ideas I haven't thought of. But maybe, just maybe, one or more of my four and half readers might have a tip or two for treating really, really dry skin. Have you had any luck with anything else? I'm desperate for my poor little guy!

3. So like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, this has not been a good week thus far. Things have been super tough in the discipline department. Monday was a nightmare filled with Kolbe attacking Reagan left and right. The jealousy issue has gotten huge with Kolbe! If Reagan has a toy, Kolbe wants it. If Reagan sits on a chair, Kolbe knocks him off. If Reagan has my attention, Kolbe throws a fit to steal it. So after a rough Monday, I decided that I was going to give Kolbe every bit of attention he needed. So I could cut him off before he started his attacks. Tuesday actually went well. I got absolutely nothing done in the house and was completely exhausted by the end of the day, but Kolbe was so much better than he was on Monday. I stuck to his side the entire day. Literally. Other than nap and when we were in the car, he was at my side the whole day. (even when I went to the restroom!) I was able to redirect him before things went wrong and it seemed to be working well. So I thought I'd stick with the plan yesterday too. And I think it backfired a bit. Kolbe quickly caught on to the fact that he was getting a lot of attention and decided that he should revert to acting like a baby. Yesterday morning was total fussy/whiney overload. He somehow confused getting a lot of attention to correct his behavior with getting a lot of attention so he could always have his way. Things were going better after he woke up from nap yesterday afternoon and then this happened:

Yep, that's the inside of my dryer. Around 4pm, right before I was about to start making dinner, the buzzer rang on the dryer. Upon opening the dryer, I was greeted by this lovely site. And everything in the dryer looked exactly like the walls. Virtually a total loss thanks to an ink pen left in Mark's dress pants. Here's an outline to express my sentiments toward this event: (unfortunately not in proper outline format 'cause I can't figure out how to make it line up in right in blogger...)

I. Event: Pen explodes in Asmussen Dryer

II. Casualties

A. my favorite pair of khakis

B. two brand new shirts of the boys'

1. brand new: I just cut the tags off before placing them in the wash

C. a baby gift that I spent the entire nap time making for a friend

2. said baby gift was the purpose of the load of laundry. The only reason I did the load was because I needed to wash the gift. The other items were thrown in just to make a full load.

D. Several other items: a cute purple hoodie of mine, a baby blue cardigan...

III. Benefits

A. Could there possibly be a benefit to this event?

B. Yes. Shopping for a new favorite pair of khakis.

IV. Aftermath

A. Spent 30 minutes scrubbing out the dryer

B. Attempted to re-wash the ink splattered clothing by adding detergent, OxyClean, and color safe bleach

1. while this did work for a few spots, none of the items returned to their former glory. The majority of them had 50+ spots.

C. Since this all took place during the time I'd normally be making dinner, dinner never got made.

D. Packed boys in the car and headed to McDonalds- This was an event only french fries could remedy

E. Dear Husband brought home roses. Possibly trying to brighten my day. Possibly trying to save his life.

Why do the most ridiculous things happen on the toughest days? Dear Lord....mercy!!!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 14

2010-04-08T07:23:00.005-05:00

1. Another Lenten season has come to an end. I wish I could say this Lent was a little more sacrificial for me, but I'd be lying if I did. Instead of giving up something major this year, I decided to focus on a few specific goals instead, namely losing ten pounds and getting from 10mg of prednisone per day to 5mg per day. Mark told me from the beginning that losing ten pounds in six weeks was a little bit too lofty of a goal considering I only had ten pounds to lose and didn't plan to pick up a rigorous exercise routine or diet. I guess he was right. I lost six of the ten pounds. But I'm not disappointed. That's still about a pound a week! And I definitely feel better about myself. Honestly, that was the goal: to focus on taking better care of the body that God gave me. So much focus has been on being a mommy that I had given up on myself to an extent. For people who see me regularly, I doubt the change is noticable. But my brother Pat, who last saw me at Christmas-time, was in town this past weekend and said, "Hey Dog! You look like you circa 2004!" Compliment? I'll take it. As for the prednisone goal, I'm proud to say that it is in the bag! I've officially been on just 5mg of prednisone for two weeks now. I had to gradually work down and spend a while on 7.5mg before making the final move. But so far I have been happy to see no flares since moving to 5 and that includes making it through another visit from Aunt Flo, where I was anticipating a flare to pop up. Yea! Praise God! Overall, while not extremely sacrificial, this Lenten season has done wonders for how I feel physically and how I feel about myself mentally. Which I'd like to think is how God would want it. And the best little Lenten gift of all was the birth of my very first nephew (I'm finally an aunt!), Jackson Patrick, to my brother Mike and his amazing wife, Casey. I'm so excited!

2. I got this little funny in the mail this week from my mom:

Toally brightened my day! Especially the little note from my mom at the bottom.

I can honestly say I am ALL of these things, usually on a daily basis. I considered omitting "veterinarian" since we're not currently owners of a quadraped, but after seeing my boys at Uncle Andy and Aunt Abby's house this past week, I better keep it on there...

3. A few weeks back I wrote about trying out new non-meat recipes for Lend this year instead of relying on take-out fried fish. I'm happy to announce that we didn't get take-out at all during Lent this year! Instead, we tried a variety of yummy new recipes and ate at our friends' house a few times. My favorites that I attempted were Lamu-style Mahi Mahi and Eggplant Parmesan. The fish was phenomenal. We actually had it twice--first filleted and then shredded up for fish tacos. And it's super easy to make, to boot! Since we don't have the best fresh fish around here, I used frozen fillets and it was still delish. The eggplant parmesan was quite the process to make but was so worth it. Definitely not as healthy as the fish but a very yummy comfort food style meal! I'll definitely be adding both to my year-round recipe collection!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 13

2010-04-01T07:08:00.016-05:00

1. I think spring is finally arriving here in Lubbock! (The boys have loved getting to wear shorts!) I've never been much of a gardener. Mainly because I can't afford to be one. But I grew up getting to watch my grandmother and mother wiggle their green thumbs in their yards and always hoped that someday I'd be able to have a somewhat respectable garden too. Since Mark and I have absolutely no idea where we'll be living come August (so scary!), we kind of feel like we need to get our yard in decent shape just in case we have to sell the house. So in an effort to save money, I decided to attempt to grow flowers from seeds instead of buying the pre-grown flowers. After a few weeks of watering, some of them are finally sprouting! I'm so excited! I was starting to wonder if it was a lost cause. Lord willing they'll survive the transplant here in a few weeks!

2. Kolbe has started singing. It is seriously one of the cutest things I've ever heard! I decided to sign him up for a little music class that they offer through The City of Lubbock for kids under the age of 5. We started going a few weeks ago and he loves it! While he doesn't sing very loudly in class, he loves to perform his newly learned tunes at home. His favorite is the "Good morning to you" song and I just get so tickled when it gets to the "hello, hello" part and he belts out "heno, heno" with such excitement! It's so precious! I absolutely have to get him recorded so in years to come when he has left the coop, I'll be able to hear that sweet little voice again.

3. As much as I've complained about my kitchen before, I have to say that I'm so grateful for the awesome laundry room that I have. "Rearrange laundry room" has been perched above the top of my weekly to-do list for about four solid weeks. I finally managed to cross it off yesterday. I'm not sure why I was avoiding it so much; it really wasn't that bad. Spending an hour or so in there made me realize how much I love all the storage space. My kitchen has literally spilled over in to there! Since there's no discernible pantry in the kitchen, I've set up a little shelving unit in the laundry room where a good amount of our groceries go. Beyond that, it has pretty much become a catch-all for many other things: laundry stuff (of course), art supplies, coloring books, cleaning supplies, hostess-type stuff...even a few power tools! Maybe one day I'll have a china cabinet or hutch to store extra house wares, but for now, the good ol' laundry room does the trick! It's definitely a highlight of our little casa!

Baby Weight

2010-03-27T14:46:00.000-05:00

So I'm finally facing up to the fact that I've gone roughly a month without writing anything on here other than my three weekly "thoughts." And I'll have to admit that I'm a little bit all over the place when it comes to my hobbies. I go through major phases. Writing. Reading. Sewing. Cooking. And on and on. But over the past month, I've been sewing pretty much non-stop. Most of it was in preparation for my sister-in-law Abby's baby shower. I had so much fun making her a bunch of baby goodies! And have actually spent the past week attempting to recover my household from blatant neglect.

But my lack of writing has certainly not been due to a lack of thoughts floating through my head. I've actually been thinking about one thing quite a lot lately: My Weight. Actually my health in general. For lent this year, I decided that I really wanted to buckle down and attempt to lose those last ten pounds of baby weight that I've been lugging around for the past year. Actually, all my parents had to do was mention the word "beach" and I was cringing all over. When we went to the beach last year, I had a great excuse for those ten pounds: my baby was only three-months-old! But when we hit the beach this May, "My baby is fifteen-months-old" isn't exactly a great excuse. According to Mark and a few other kind but blind people, the extra ten pounds looks great. To me, however, I remember what I felt like without them and I know how I feel now. And I know which I prefer. Don't get me wrong. I know I don't look horrible or dreadfully over-weight or anything. It's just a matter of wanting to feel my best and look my best. Something about those two things does wonders for my self-confidence!

Really, the past year or so has been a blur. As Reagan approaches fifteen months, it absolutely blows my mind that when Kolbe was that age, I was having a brand new baby. I've seriously spent the past year just giving it my best to get by. With Mark in Midland, those first six months of Reagan's life and then just the responsibility of taking care of two babies 'round the clock, I gave little attention to my own self.

And on top of my extra ten pounds, I have discovered and even heavier health problem that I'm determined to rectify. At my last appointment with Dr. Calmes, my rheumatologist, I had a bone density scan run. My last scan was over three years ago but since I was pregnant (twice), I was unable to have another one sooner. The scan uncovered the fact that I have developed a bit of osteoporosis. Yes, you got that right. Osteoporosis. Like what seventy-five year old grannies have. Me. A twenty-seven year old. A lot of this is due to the fact that I've been on prednisone for over ten years for my lupus. For me, that drug has been a can't live with it, can't live without it kind of predicament since I was diagnosed. Helps me function as a normal person but does bad things to me in the long run. I'm no fool though. I'm sure that some of this onset of osteoporosis is due to my diet and lack of calcium intake. I've always taken extra calcium supplements, but I'm determined to really up it now and get myself to healthy levels that will develop healthy bones! If not, I'll have to go on an osteoporosis treatment plan a year from now. No thanks!

Since I began my concerted effort to lose weight at the beginning of lent, I've lost about five of the ten pounds. I'm super excited about this and can't wait for the other five to go. As all weight loss goes, the second five are proving to be much slower than the first! But I'm determined to make it happen. Especially before I'm forced to appear in a swim suit in front of anyone whatsoever! Eeek!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 12

2010-03-25T14:10:00.000-05:00

1. A few days ago after both little monkeys were sleeping in their beds, I realized that we've finally reached an exciting new state of "normal" at the Asmussen abode. I say exciting, because it truly is the closest thing to the rest of the world's "normal" than anything we've had in the past two-and-a-half years. And by "normal" I'm talking everyone in this house goes to bed on their own, sleeps through the night in his own bed, can walk and doesn't have to be carried (although sometimes they still are...), can feed himself (though it requires a massive clean-up effort 100% of the time), and naps at the same time as everyone else wanting or needing to take a nap. I never realized how much I missed normal until I finally had it back. It's awesome to fix the boys their lunch, set it on the table, and then either eat with them or have time to clean a few dishes while they eat instead of aiding in the eating process. And don't even get me started on how much I love seven to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Yes, up until about a month ago I had a baby up in the middle of the night since November of 2007. Kolbe was just barely sleeping through the night when Reagan was born. I had just accepted that no sleep was my lot for the rest of my life. So now, all I can say is, "Ahhh." Sleep is glorious! Guess I better enjoy it while I can!

2. But when we're not busy being normal, we're busy being terribly not-normal. At least Kolbe, that is. Kolbe has been two for four months now and I've been so happy to see that the so-called "terrible twos" aren't so terrible after all. Until now. I'm really not sure what has gotten in to him, but a few words that come to mind are "bull-headed", "strong-willed", and "independent." Here's an example:
Kolbe: Mama, mes go back ard?
Me: Not right now, Kolb. It's raining.
(Immediate melt down with genuine fake tears begins.And no amount of reasoning helps.)
The scene continues on and on. Yesterday for literally TWO hours! As soon as he'd calm down I'd make the mistake of saying something like "Ok, let's go eat lunch now." To which he'd respond with immediate crying. Once he gets worked up, anything (seriously, anything) I say is just complete fuel to the fire. The ignore tactic has become a friend of mine. A lot of the time he's upset about something he wants to do himself. This has largely revolved around getting dressed, thus morning time and bedtime have become a nightmare.
Me: Kolbe, let's go get dressed so we can eat breakfast.
Kolbe: Me's turn.
Me: Ok. Pull your jammies off.
(Kolbe struggles to get the bottoms off and is completely stuck on the top.)
Me: Here Kolb, let me help.
Kolbe: No, ME'S turn!!!
Me:I'm going to let you do it, I'm just going to help.
(Full melt down begins.)
These melt downs often result in "Don't come out of your room until you're ready to stop crying." You can get down and try to level with him all you want. It does no good. The worst is the battle of the wills:
Me: Well you can't go with Pinkie until you tell Mama sorry for kicking her while she was helping you get dressed.
Kolb: (silence.)
Me: (after roughly five minutes of trying to get him to apologize) Ok, go ahead and leave, Pinkie. Kolbe isn't going to apologize to Mama.
(Pinkie walks out. Kolbe starts crying.)
Kolbe: Worwies, Mama! Worwies!
Me: Well Kolbe, Pinkie is already gone. You should have said sorry when we asked you to. Let's see if we can catch her before she's gone. Oh good! There she is! Let's put your shoes on so you can go.
Kolbe: No shoes, Mama.
Me: Kolbe, you have to wear shoes to go bye bye with Pinkie.
(Melt down back on.)
No, he didn't end up getting to go with Pinkie. It ended with me leaving him in his room and telling him not to come out till his shoes were on. By the time Pinkie got back, he had stopped crying and his shoes were on. The wrong feet, of course, but on nonetheless. It's been a long few weeks. The biggest challenge for Mark and me has just been following through. Kolbe has definitely discovered his will power and is testing us to see what he can get away with. He wants the world to revolve around him. Hey, don't we all sometimes!?! And there are many times that Mark and I kind of feel like just giving in in order to get him to calm down. But what good will that do us in the long run? We've seen several families where the child is in charge and that's definitely not how we want to roll. Guess we'll just have to grin and bear the melt downs till he figures things out. He actually had a fabulous day yesterday so maybe we're not too far off!

3. Are you in need of a new major appliance? Do you want to save a ton of money on it? If you live in Texas, there's a major opportunity coming up next month to make this happen! Back in the fall, the government decided to fund a program similar to Cash for Clunkers but for appliances. The money was distributed to each state and each state was given the power to decide how to run its version of the program. Texas has decided to have the program coincide with Earth Day which is on April 22nd. Appliances have to be Energy Star appliances and have to be purchased between April 16th and April 25th. Plus, you have to "reserve" your rebate prior to purchasing the appliances either by calling a number or applying online beginning April 5th. So you apply. You get approved. They give you forms to send in with your receipt. They mail you the rebate. A few hoops to jump through, but well worth it! Plus, you get even more if you recycle your old appliance! Sweet! And there are definitely many Energy Star appliances that are very affordable. So you can either get an affordable model for a steal or splurge and get a fancy shmancy one for what you would have spent on the affordable one. Mark and I got some money for Christmas that we had planned on using for a new dishwasher. (ours is disintigrating.) We haven't made our purchase because I knew about this program and decided we had to hold off till we could get the rebate. When you see how much you get for each appliance, it's definitely worth it! Check it out at THIS website.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 11

2010-03-18T07:32:00.043-05:00

1. On Tuesday we had to make a quick trip to Target. Boys were dressed, shoes were on, only jackets remained. I pulled Kolbe's little hoodie off its hook and was alarmed at its heaviness. As he slipped his arms into the sleeves, I noticed the bulging pockets. Reaching in, I found two handfuls of big, dirty rocks. I'm pretty sure the smile on my face probably stretched from ear to ear. He is so boy. And I just love how he's starting to develop all these little boy tendencies. Rocks in his pockets, jumping in mud puddles, obsessing over motorcycles. It's all just so. much. fun! And his Uncle Dave taught him how to pick flowers (ok, flowering weeds...) in the backyard and bring them to Mama, so now at least once a day I get a lovely bouquet to put a smile on my face. Not just a boy, but a gentleman too!

2. As a stay-at-home mom, there's very little free time for anything. So when any amount of free time arrives, the last thing I want to do is clean. It's always on the to-do list. Always because I rarely ever cross it off! But when I do it, I'm always glad I did it. And always feel like I really accomplished something. But sadly, the only time I feel really motivated to clean is when we're having people over or guests are coming to stay. Like Uh-oh. I can't let the rest of the world know that we live in such squalor! Ok, ok. It's not that bad. The toys get picked up every night. The dishes always get done. (usually by my totally awesome husband.) The laundry is completed every week. As is the vacuuming. But it's the big things I avoid at all cost. Dusting. Bathrooms. Mopping. Not to mention all those grimy handprints splattered on cabinets, walls, and windows. Luckily, my mom comes to visit about once a month so I'm forced to do it all whether I want to or not. Too bad I'm not as obsessed with cleaning as I am with sewing. Or more like my mother-in-law or grandmother-in-law. They clean the tub after every bath or shower. Seriously. Quite admirable, but I'd never sleep if I cleaned at that pace!

3. Have you seen those dish drying mats that they sell at Bed Bath and Beyond? They're five bucks. Or four if you use one of the twenty percent off coupons. I first spied them at Mark's mom's house around Christmas time and decided I had to have one. They absorb a ton of water! So you're not left with a pile of soggy towels on your counter after hand washing things. And the mat stays in place and is a uniform shape so it doesn't look sloppy or messy like a towel either. Super cool. And you can throw them in the washer and dryer too! I know a certain young lady with a birthday just around the corner who just got new granite countertops that are begging for a few of these. She better not go buy them before I get them for her!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 10

2010-03-11T07:15:00.004-06:00

1. Kolbe has been in a program called ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) since shortly after he was born. ECI is a program that works with children from birth to age three who are faced with some type of developmental delay. Since Kolb was born with a cleft lip and palate and failed hearing in one ear, he was at risk for difficulties with both eating as well as proper speech development. In the slightly over two years that we've been working with ECI, we've had several people help with Kolbe's care. In the past year, Miss Lindsay, Kolbe's speech therapist, has definitely become his sweetheart.

Unfortunately, as of last week, Kolbe's time with ECI is now up. He had his yearly evaluation and tested out of the program. He had a whole battery of developmental tests completed and came out well above his age level in many areas and even surpassed his age in speech, the area he has struggled with the most. The lady who came to test him had never met or seen him before (so she wasn't biased) and told me that we had quite an intelligent little boy!

Now, being Kolbe's mother, I've always thought he was pretty smart, but since we're not normally around other little boys his age, I really had no frame of reference when it came to how he compared. In some areas he was between a three and four-year-old instead of two and three! She was quite impressed with his ability to identify all his colors and cracked up when she asked him, "Kolbe, what flies?" and he replied "Pa's airplane." And then added: "Geese." That's what you get when your grandpa's a pilot and you live near a park filled with Canadian geese all winter! I knew he'd excel at all the physical tests; he's always been so hands on. But even I was impressed as his abilities with some of the conceptual tests. For example, she showed him a mama doll and a baby doll and explained which was which. Then she'd ask questions like "Kolbe, which one is the mama's baby?" Or she'd say, "Kolbe, move the baby toward the mama." Or "Kolbe, when did Dada go to work?" ..."Dis mo-nin." He fully understood everything she asked of him, and responded well! So I guess we're doing okay with Kolbe after all. Mark and I are quite proud!

2. Mark and I have actually made our bed nine days in a row now. Responses:
a.) "And?"
b.) "Why?"
I know, I know. To some people, making the bed is a waste of time. Why dress it up just to mess it up a few hours later? But to others, making the bed is as routine as brushing teeth... making it nine days in a row would certainly not be something to write about.

For me, I've dwelled somewhere in the midst of these two philosophies for various reasons over the span of my life. As a child, we were required to make our beds daily. To avoid the wrath of Mommy Dearest, my brothers and I reluctantly tidied up our beds on our way out the door every. single. morning. Then college came and I was living by my rules; no bed making required. There were classes to get to after all! But after Mark and I got married, I was suddenly hit by the Suzie-Homemaker-I'm-Married-So-I-Must-Act-Like-I'm-Married-And-Make-My-House-Look-Like-A-Married-Person's-House bug and started making the bed again. Daily. The arrival of children certainly threw that idea right out the window. After all, the goal was to get back in to bed as quickly as possible once the baby was asleep, right!?! Why would I make the bed and jeopardize any amount of sleep possible!?!

But now that both Reagan and Kolbe are sleeping really well at night, I'm not nearly as tired as I used to be. Naps no longer necessary. And although our room is off limits throughout the majority of the day (door knob cover), it makes me really happy when I do pass through to see a neatly made bed. Kind of like a little bit of calm in a day full of chaos. Plus, I think it's important for the boys to see Mama picking up her room and making her bed. I want them to respect our home and property, after all. And while I'm not to the point of requiring a made little boy bed and a made baby crib just yet, I do fully intend on making it a daily chore once they aren't napping and sleeping like little wild men!

3. Have you ever tried the Press-n-Seal Plastic Wrap? It's awesome. Yes, it's a little bit more pricey than the standard plastic wrap, but when you take into account its abilities, you're using much less so it's well worth it. You can literally tear off a piece that's the exact size of the item you're covering and it just seals right on to the edge. With regular plastic wrap, you have to tear off way more than necessary just because you practically have to wrap it around the whole item just to get it to stick. And then it still doesn't stay in place. Or it leaks if you spill it over. Not the press-n-seal stuff. And another cool thing is that once you've sealed the edge, you can actually stack other things on top of it. It's that good of a seal. Love it.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 9

2010-03-04T07:46:00.001-06:00

1. I'm afraid the aforementioned "milk factory" has arrived at it's new "normal" state. Why am I afraid? Well let's just say that it's nothing like the milk factory that existed before it became operational. People always used to say "enjoy your pre-baby body while you've got it...it will never be the same!" You can say that again. I can usually disguise it but Lord knows when it's just me and Him looking, it sure ain't the same. Sigh. It's kind of like having a new car and taking a look at it after a hundred thousand miles and bad upkeep. I'm udderly...errrr, utterly...shocked at the difference. Awww, man! They broke it! Oh well. I suppose the purpose of the miles was well worth it. And the one who created this milk factory is certainly proud of it no matter what it looks like beneath the disguise.

2. For those of you who see me regularly, you know that throughout Reagan's first year of life I've had many a flare up with my lupus. Particularly in my wrists. This is usually noted by the "bowling braces" I wear when I'm having a flare. (That's what Mark's cousin calls them.) At first I attributed this to the large amounts of lifting I've been doing, now that I'm taking care of two babies full time. This was something I hadn't thought of before leaving the working world. But a funny thing has happened recently. Since Reagan started walking a few months ago, I've hardly had any flares at all. So originally, I assumed that I was right. I wasn't lifting as much any more, thus I wasn't having as many flares. But in the past three months, I have had two flares. Both either the day before or the day of Aunt Flo arriving in town. Hmmm. I knew she was evil, but I never suspected her of such malice! And both of these flares popped up with no apparent strenuous activity the day before. Just no reason at all. So now I'm suspicious. And looking forward to my appointment with Dr. Calmes next week. Could there be some form of a hormonal element to my lupus? If there is, is there a hormone I could take to balance it out without causing "female" problems? Hmmmm....

3. I'd love to write about something in the house that I love, but I just keep thinking about the absence of something I love: The Olympics. Whah. They're over. Booooo. Seriously. Now it's just back to the boring ol' stuff on the tube. Nothing compares to the excitement of the Olympics. Guess that's my cue to start reading more instead of watching TV. And the good thing is, as soon as I stop thinking about the Olympics being over, they'll be back in my favorite summer variety in 2012! Can't wait!

The Milk Factory

2010-02-28T07:26:00.005-06:00

I've always been a big proponent of breastfeeding. My mom breastfed all five of us (at various lengths) and so naturally, I always imagined doing the same for my children. I planned to breastfeed Kolbe, even after discovering he would be born with a cleft lip. After his chaotic birth (which is another story in itself), the doctors informed me that he also had a cleft palate, making it impossible for Kolbe to suck. He would be forced to eat through chewing, making breastfeeding virtually impossible. Not one to give up, I decided to pump for Kolbe. While this still provided Kolbe with the very important breast milk that he needed, it certainly wasn't what I had hoped for and dreamed up.

But along came Reagan! And I was bound and determined to make our experience the best it could be. God certainly blessed me with a wonderful nursing experience with Reagan. Despite his prematurity and despite my C-section and blood pressure problems before and afterward, things couldn't have gone more smoothly in the beginning. He took to nursing right away and never turned back!

Nursing has created such a special bond between Reagan and me, though I must admit, I didn't necessarily feel the way about nursing that everyone said I would feel. Yes, I was so happy that I was able to provide nourishment for my little guy, but I didn't feel that complete connection type feeling that people always talk about. It was certainly very satisfying though, as a mother to be able to care for my baby in that way. I'm so glad I did it!!! And will absolutely do it again if God blesses us with any more kiddos.

Needless to say, Reagan has become such a mama's boy. Bad. If I'm within a 10 mile radius, he knows. There are times it can be a bit much (like when I'm trying to give Kolbe a little attention), but there are also times I absolutely love having that special connection with my little guy. He knows I love him and I know he loves me. It's awesome!

Around the time Reagan turned ten months old, that un-welcomed "friend" of mine returned, throwing things off kilter a bit. I was absolutely bound and determined to make it to Reagan's first birthday before giving up nursing and he seemed to have no intention of giving it up either, despite the slow down in milk production. A few weeks ago, however (yes, after his first birthday!) we decided to stop.

Once Reagan finally learned how to drink out of a sippy cup, and I knew he'd be able to get fluids, I felt more comfortable with letting go. Besides, when he was nursing (just before bed), it was lasting only a few minutes. I knew he wasn't getting any nourishment from it. It was simply for comfort.

So on the first night with no nursing, I scooped up my little man and held him close and told him how much I love him. And I told him how happy I was that I was able to nurse him for his first year of life. And I told him how thankful I was that he is my son. I placed him in his bed and covered him up and busied myself with picking up a few toys around the room. By the time I returned to his bedside, he was already fast asleep. Just like that, it was over.

Mark came in and stood beside me as we looked at our little guy. I started to cry. I knew my body was telling me that it was time to move on, and obviously Reagan was ok with it too, but something it my heart just felt so sad about letting go of nursing. I guess bittersweet would be a better description. Bitter in that I was letting go of something that kept Reagan a baby, something that kept me connected to him so closely, and something that cemented the fact that I was providing for him. But it was sweet in that I knew I had given it my all, knew I had been successful, and knew that Reagan is the baby he is today because of my efforts. Such a satisfying feeling. I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 8

2010-02-25T07:36:00.000-06:00

1. Reagan has entered the "poor, unfortunate soul" phase of life. Ugh. Kolbe went through the same phase around the same age. Call it teething, call it the inability to communicate, call it lack of understanding of the way the world works...whatever you call it, I have to admit, it's utterly annoying at some times. (usually like around 7:00pm when I've heard it all day...) Don't get me wrong, I love my little baby, but man o' man, he has just been pouring on the drama lately! I set him down; he cries. I pick him up; he cries. I put him in his booster chair; he cries. I get up to get a napkin; he cries. We get to the bottom of his carton of yogurt; he cries. I put him in his car seat; he arches his back and cries. And we're not talking about a small little pout. We're talking full on, throw his head back, crocodile tears, so-hard-that-no-sound-comes-out cries. It's ridiculous. And the second he gets his way, he stops. When Kolbe went through this phase, Mark and I would bust out our best rendition of the Ursula song "poor, unfortunate soul!!!...in pain....in need..." from The Little Mermaid. Come on, you know what song I'm talking about! Needless to say, we've reprised our role a little over a year later for Mr. Reagan. Can't wait for this phase to pass! Really, son! Life is not that bad!!!

2. Mark and I are expecting! ...A godchild, that is. I'm sure a few people just fell out of their chairs. (though I'm sure some of you probably wouldn't be surprise, considering our previous track record...) Abby and Andy came over a few nights ago (in the gushing snow) to drop off some of my borrowed maternity clothes and asked if Mark and I would be willing to be their little baby John's godparents. We, of course, were ecstatic and happy to take on such an important responsibility. (I think I actually gasped when they asked...) Mark and I have always viewed the roll of godparents to be something so vital and important. As Mark always says, his job as a father and husband is to help get the boys and me to heaven. And should we ever leave our children behind on this earth (God forbid...) we would certainly hope that someone else would seek this same goal for our boys. Not to mention the fact that godparents can join in the journey with the parents through prayer and example. We're still about eleven weeks away from meeting our little nephew and godson, John, but we're so excited to serve in this special way in his life and hope that we can be all that Andy and Abby would expect us to be! Thanks again, A & A, for such an honor!!!

3. I guess I'll just stick with the baby theme this week...

I spent two solid years either being the pregnant lady or the lady with a new baby for all our friends and family. It's been so interesting over the past several months to actually be on the outside and see what it's like for other friends and family members either trying to get pregnant or experiencing their first pregnancies. In some cases, I've seen so many similarities to Mark and my journey. In others, it's been so different. It just makes me realize that life is precious and beautiful to all who endeavor to join with God and create it. It's exciting, it's heart-breaking, it's time consuming and pride-reducing. It's sacrificial, it's all-encompassing, it's exhausting and exhilarating. It's the journey of falling in love!

I have four friends or family members who are due literally within days of each other, the first being my sister-in-law, Casey, who is due March 31st. A friend of mine, who was due a few days after Casey, ended up having her baby on Tuesday in a manner similar to my experience with Kolbe. I have yet to go see her at the hospital, but just hearing about it from an outsider's perspective has been somewhat poignant for me. When I had Kolb, I felt like I was somewhat alone. Like I was the only one who had ever gone through such an experience. But something about just hearing of how this precious little guy arrived so early to such a beautiful, deserving mama has made me re-recognize the beauty of each woman's own journey. We may not all be meant to have the perfect conception, pregnancy, or delivery we dream of as little girls, but if God calls us to be mothers, we are all meant to experience the beauty of celebrating each new life. And I have completely enjoyed witnessing all my soon to be mama friends thus far. I can't wait for their babies' births! And I look forward with hope for my friends who are destined to be mothers in the future!

A Little Piece of Awesomeness

2010-02-22T21:46:00.004-06:00

Let me just tell you how awesome my kitchen "window" is. I say "window" with quotation marks around it because, technically, there is no glass and it definitely doesn't look from the inside of our house to the outside of our house. But it does look from the kitchen in to the family room. Something I've been wanting to do for eons.

You see, when I bought our house, I was a mere twenty-one years old. I was single, starting a new career as a teacher, and far from thinking about kids or cooking elaborate meals. And certainly no where near fathoming how a kitchen would affect those two things. Now I'm (cough, cough) twenty-seven and have two kiddos and a husband all in this same charming (to put it kindly), little house.

Don't get me wrong; there are many things I love about this house. Like the fact that all three bedrooms have walk-in closets. Big walk-in closets. Or our huge brick fireplace. Or heck, the mere fact that we have a house! But it's safe to say that the kitchen isn't high up on my list of loves. It's narrow, old, and yucky. A shotgun kitchen of sorts. You can't open both the dishwasher and oven at the same time. And the biggest problem? You can't see from the kitchen in to the family room without walking around the corner to the table area. Until now!

One of my favorite houses in the whole world is my Popo and Mom Helen's house here in Lubbock. It's simply awesome. And one of my favorite features of it is a little "window" that is above the kitchen sink and looks in to the family room. I always thought it was so cool. So naturally, after I bought our house, I began dreaming of having one above my sink. I'd be able to stay in the kitchen and still be a part of whatever was going on in the family room. Or still be able to watch the TV if I was alone. It was always one of those someday... type things.

But around the time Reagan turned about six-months-old, we developed a little problem at the Asmussen Household: shenanigans. I'd run to the kitchen to throw together lunch or put the dishes in the dishwasher only to hear Reagan's wailing seconds after I walked away. By the time I'd dash back around the corner, it was too late to figure out what happened. I just assumed it was Kolbe attacking Reagan for taking a toy or Kolbe pushing Reagan over or Kolbe...

I began to covet my kitchen "window" more than ever.

Somewhere in this time frame, I must have mentioned it around my cousin Mandi's husband, Joe. In his spare time (when he's not busy being an orthopedic surgeon...), he likes to do any kind of home improvement project, build things, do wood working, etc. A few months ago he finished up on a Murphy bed that is one of the most impressive hand-made things I've ever seen. Mad skills.

He decided he would donate his time (as if he really has any!) to creating this "window" for me. Mark was willing to help out, eager to learn a few things, and excited to create something cool for the kitchen. They planned to complete the project the Saturday the boys and I were in Houston. (the one where we were supposed to be home already but got stuck in Houston...yet another good reason we didn't make it home!) As it turned out, Joe's dad Pat (Mr. Bergman, as he's known to us) came to town for a visit at the last minute and joined the construction team.

Unfortunately, what was intended to be a fairly straight-forward project became a little bit complicated when they knocked out the "window" only to find a huge sewage pipe right through the middle. They started around 8:30 in the morning and Mark didn't call me to tell me they were done until around 10:30 at night. A ton of work for so a longly desired window!!!

Needless to say, I have yet to think of words to thank both Joe and Mr. Bergman for their efforts. Luckily, Mark gets to see just how much I love the "window" every day, so he knows how thankful I am. And he's thankful too! But the fact that the Bergmans gave their time and knowlege to making something so special for me just means so much. I feel unworthy! I am unworthy!

I know, I know. I'm probably making it sound like they built me a whole new house, but hey, to me, this is something extremely special! And it's the little things that make life so enjoyable! Here's why my little window is so awesome:

- It's been little over a week since we got home from Houston. Since then, I've busted Kolbe countless times. I was right. Most of the shenanigans were because of him...

- I've busted Reagan a hand full of times too! Sneaky little one-year-old! He tries to play it off by crying, but sometimes he's the one causing it!!!

- Our kitchen actually feels bigger! I never imagined this effect, but it's true. Something about the light and air filtering in makes it feel not as claustrophobic.

- I know I'll never live in my Popo and Mom Helen's House, but this makes mine just a little bit more like theirs.

- It's pretty darn nice to be able to see the TV while doing dishes. Especially while the Olympics are on!

I'm sure as I spend more and more (and more) time in the kitchen, there will be more and more reasons for me to love it! I am so thankful!

Looking at it from the kitchen side...
Looking at it from the family room (I'm still not sold on the mirror beside it...)

Looking at it from the hallway

Any way you look at it, it's pretty awesome!!!

Ew-eee. Yucky.

2010-02-20T13:00:00.001-06:00

I couldn't help but opt for that title (a commonly heard saying of Kolbe's) for this post, considering the subject matter. And technically, I should have written this post about a week ago, but our travelling snafu has held me up. (I actually have a whole list in my book o' lists of topics that I need to write about...)

But back to the topic at hand. Barfing. And diarrhea. And not in a toilet. For either.

Yes, for the first time in my mommy career, we were hit with the infamous stomach bug. Actually, I think Kolbe might have had a little bit of it as a baby, but it was in the phase of babyhood prior to "real" food. So it was just like magnified spit-up. And of course there was that bout of it that Mark and I had two Thanksgivings ago when I was about six months pregnant with Reagan. Evil. And then there were a few other barfing episodes, but not due to sickness. For example, that one time Reagan ate the paper towel at Walmart...

With the number of times we were in the airport, the visit to the Shriners Hospital, a trip to the public playground at The Woodlands mall, and a spin on the carousel, there were multiple opportunities for us to pick it up. On Friday night, after our second trip to the airport to attempt to get home and after having a mini-meltdown over said attempt, I put the boys to bed at Pinkie and Pa's and went to bed fairly early myself. Around 2am, I heard Reagan stirring and assumed he was just rolling around a bit. No crying involved. Until those cringe inducing sounds began to pour forth from his mouth. Along with other things. I didn't even need to turn the lights on to know what happened. The sounds and smells told it all.

So not only were we not back at home, but now we had a barfer too. Lovely.

But as I wrote about earlier this week, God has his reasons. And I suppose, God had me stay in Houston precisely for this event. Before I even took Reagan out of the pack 'n play, I rushed down stairs to get my mom. This was something only she could help with. She rushed upstairs with me and while I carried Reagan to the tub to clean him up (yes, he threw up laying down, so I'm sure you can imagine how nasty he was) she cleaned out his entire bed from top to bottom. And then got it set back up with towels and what not. As I cuddled my poor sweet baby, he managed to get sick again (into my mom's new kitchen sink this time). Ew-eee. Yucky.

Before too long, I was able to get him back to sleep. The following morning, my mom rushed off to the grocery store to grab some Pedialyte, ginger ale, chicken and rice soup, crackers, etc. not just for Reagan, but for any other unfortunate victims as well. While I know Mark would have eagerly helped me out with this situation had he been there, there was something so nice about having my mom there to help me. After all, with five kiddos, this was far from her first round of this nonsense. Nothing like having training from an expert! She's the best.

By Sunday when we finally made it home, Reagan seemed to be on the road to recovery. Just trying to get the diapie cleared up. But I certainly wasn't going to get off that clean. After a little nap of my own while the boys were sleeping, I woke up with a not-so-good feeling in my belly. I managed to struggle through mass and make it home just in time for things to go from bad to worse. Ugh. Luckily this time Mark was available to help me out with the boys and the majority of the nastiness only lasted about five hours. Happy Valentine's Day, dear!

Unfortunately, the following day Mark did have to go to work so I was left at home to recover with both of the boys. Which brings me to another thing: every other job in America gets sick leave, right!?! Usually to the tune of about ten days a year. Or even one day a month. Not this job! When you're sick, there's no laying in bed recovering with a bowl of soup, a cup of Sprite, and lots of sleep. Nope. Life goes on as normal. No two-year-old or one-year-old is going to be ok with "Would you mind playing by yourself for the whole day?" or "Mama needs to lay down for a few hours; I'm feeling a little light-headed." Ha!

But I suppose that's what I signed up for when I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. Hopefully one day in the future Mark will actually be in the position to be able to take a day off when something like this comes up. But let's just not hope that that day in the future is any time too soon...I could go the rest of motherhood without another run-in with that stuff! Ew-eee. Yucky.

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 7

2010-02-18T07:47:00.003-06:00

1. I hate vinyl tablecloths. I mean, for their intended use, I guess their ideal for homes with children. But ugh. Nothing says "picnic" like a big piece of plastic draped across the table. And still, I found myself at Target this morning walking past a clearance display with khaki colored vinyl table cloths for just a few bucks and I instantly snapping up not just one, but two in my table's size. (might as well have a back-up for when the monsters manage to destroy the first...) I attempted to do the fabric table cloth thing for a while after Kolbe was born, but let's get real: I'd be forced to throw that thing in the washing machine every single day with a two-year-old and a one-year-old. Heck, I'm lucky if they can manage to keep a meal on their plates! Actually, I should be honest, Reagan doesn't even use a plate. I just put whatever he's eating right on the table to avoid him throwing the plate on the floor. One day I'll have a lovely looking table cloth that exudes sophistication and style. For now, despite my disdain for their appearance, I'll go with convenience. It's indoor picnics year round.

2. I'm obsessed with The Olympics. Literally right now as I type I have curling on in the background. Curling. I somehow feel compelled to watch people play essentially shuffleboard on ice. But to tell the whole story, my parents raised us on watching the Olympics every year that they came up and several of my most vivid memories as a child evolved around The Olympics. I especially remember the Summer Olympics in Atlanta in 1996. We were living in Columbus, MS, just a few hours away so The Olympics were all the rage. The neighborhood girls and I did gymnastics in the front yard to songs on the radio. So endearing. I tend to prefer the summer Olympics, but I'm not one to skip on the winter ones either. I knew they were coming up but didn't really think much about them until the opening ceremonies a few nights ago. Now I'm completely hooked and committed to watching whatever sport is on whenever I have a few free minutes. There's just something about the competition, pride, and emotion that goes in to these games. Last night Mark and I had the snowboarding on as Kolbe played on the floor with his bowling set. After knocking down all of the pins, he flipped the bin that stores the set over and climbed up on top of it, ala gold medal podium style. I remember doing just the same on my mom's mixing bowls as a child. So adorable!

3. For all you Catholic-folk out there, you know what time of year it is...Lent! And while it's certainly a wonderful time of year to deepen your faith, it's also a wonderful time of year to expand that cooking repertoire and sharpen up on a few no-meat recipes. At least that's what I plan to do this Lent. Prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom, I was really never much of a cook. Now I really love to cook and try out new recipes, though I'm certainly no pro yet! In previous years, throughout the season of Lent, Friday became a good excuse to pick up pricey fried catfish instead of cooking. But then part of me felt slightly guilty...like how does eating out constitute any form of a fast!?! For us, eating out is a treat no matter what's on the menu. So this year I'm going to make an attempt to try some fun new meat-free recipes. I found this website with tons of good recipes to attempt. I'm sure there are many more site out there (and books too!), but just thought I'd share one for those of you looking for the same Friday food requirement. Happy Lent to everyone! (including any non-Catholics...preparing for Easter is such a wonderful time!) (and yes, I'm sure I'll have fried catfish at least once this Lenten Season!!! So yummy!!!)

Not Quite as Planned...

2010-02-16T13:50:00.004-06:00

I am such a control freak. If something has the propensity to be planned, I plan it. If it can be organized, I organize it. (or at least attempt to...) I like the feeling of being in control and knowing what's around the corner. I'm not big on surprises. Though most of the surprises in my life have been pleasant, I suppose.

This past week was a total detriment to my controlling ways. The little guys and I travelled to Houston last Monday for what was supposed to be a quick three day trip. Just a visit to Kolbe's Shriners doctor for a check-up, plus a little visit with Pinkie and Pa for the boys. Plus, it got us out of the house so Mark could study for his Internal Medicine exam scheduled for Thursday morning. Early on, we planned to arrive in Houston on Monday and leave on Thursday. Since we fly stand-by on my dad's passes, we're kind of at the mercy of the airlines as to when we can and can't fly. Before we left Lubbock, Friday was already looking full so we set Thursday to be our return date.

After making it safely to Houston on Monday, we enjoyed a relaxing day on Tuesday, had a wonderful appointment at Shriners and a mini-birthday party for Reagan on Wednesday, and were packed up and ready to leave on Thursday morning. Now before we get any farther, let me remind you that my parents' house is roughly an hour away from the airport. And considering you have to be at the airport an hour before the flight, that means we have to leave the house two hours prior to departure. After arriving at the airport early Thursday morning with my dad, we were glad to hear that our flight was slightly delayed since we too were running late. Shortly after arriving at the gate, we received the thrilling news that all flights through Dallas were cancelled until at least 2:00pm. Since almost all of the flights to Lubbock go through Dallas, we were doomed. Defeated, we headed home.

As the day progressed, we discovered that all the flights to Dallas ended up being cancelled, thanks to the twelve inches of snow Dallas received. I was bound and determined not to let this set back throw off my plans to get home no later than Friday. After all, it was a rare three day weekend for Mark (Fri, Sat, Sun) as it was the weekend between two rotations. The perfect time for us to spend as a family! No studying, no paper writing, no patient logging allowed!

For Friday, our only option was to attempt a flight that took off at 7:25am and was scheduled to go through Austin instead of Dallas. After waking up at 4:30am to get ready and head to the airport, we were thrilled that we actually made it on time. As the elevator door opened to the Southwest check in area, we were instantly taken aback. No fewer than 250 people stood in the endless line waiting to get a ticket. I think it's safe to say that the majority of these poor souls were ones who got booted from their flights to Dallas the previous day. With just an hour to go before our flight took off, there was no way we'd make it to the front of this line and then through the equally long security line before take off. We didn't even bother staying to give it a shot. Trip two: busted.

As soon as we got back to my parents' house, I quickly checked the flights for Saturday before calling Mark with the bad news. I just about had a nervous break down when I discovered that there was literally no way we'd get back to Lubbock on Saturday either. With just a few flights going to Lubbock on the weekends and all the cancellations, there was absolutely no space for stand-bys. Not to mention the three-day, Valentine's weekend for travellers. Sunday morning would be our best shot. I was devastated.

It wasn't so much that I didn't want to be at my parents'. I love their home, love spending time with them, and love any chance the boys can get to be around them. It was more so that my plans for the weekend with our little family were crushed. I had it in my mind that things were going to go a certain way. I had it planned to a T. Instead, while we hung out in Houston, Mark got to hang out here in Lubbock. By himself. Whenever we're here, it kills him that he can't spend time with us because of studying and work. Then when he can spend time with us, we're not even here! Grrrr!!!

But I suppose, like all things, God has his ways which are far, far greater than mine. He always manages to show me why He is in control and not me. When we finally made it home on Sunday, I had a wonderful "surprise" (ok, I knew about it, but I was still so excited to see it!) waiting for me. On Saturday, Mark, my cousin-in-law Joe (is that a term? my cousin's husband who also happens to be my sister-in-law's brother....don't ask...), and his father Mr. Bergman spent ALL day creating a look-through window from our kitchen in to our family room-- something I've dreamed of having since I bought this house almost six years ago. I'm so thrilled by it that I will be devoting an entire post to it's greatness as soon as Mark finishes the last coat of paint. (yes, I keep getting the itch to finish it myself while he's at work but I'm trying to work on the whole control thing...)

Like I was saying before I got distracted by my awesome window, it's a good thing that God's in control. While, yes, life would be so much easier if everything went the way I designed it, it wouldn't be nearly as beautiful. After all, if everything went the way I designed it, we wouldn't be just months away from Mark finishing P.A. School, we wouldn't have been exposed to some amazing people like all of Kolbe's doctors, and we wouldn't have a sweet little dumpling sleeping in the other room named Reagan. All things that made up reasons for this whole crazy Houston trip in the first place! Under His control, life will always go "as planned."

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 6

2010-02-11T13:53:00.000-06:00

1. I had a lot of fun watching the Super Bowl Sunday night. For once, I actually had a team I was cheering for and was thrilled when the Saints won! Mark's high school classmate and football team member plays for the Saints (#85, David Thomas) so we had to cheer for them! Yea, Saints!

But more so than cheering for the Saints, I was cheering for the Pro-Life Movement and the victory we had Sunday night. Unless you live under a rock, I'm sure you heard something about the "controversial" Focus on the Family ad that would be airing during the Super Bowl in the weeks leading up to the big game. Countless Pro-Choice groups across the country were completely up in arms over this supposed Pro-Life commercial starring Tim Tebow and his mother. From spots on the evening news to articles in numerous newspapers (it was front page of The Lubbock Avalanche Journal on Sunday morning...), there was some media supporting it, but mainly protesting it's running during the Super Bowl. The article in Lubbock's paper included quotes from Lubbock Pro-Choicers commenting on how they were essentially appalled that Focus on the Family was willing to drop an estimated $2.5 million on this ad when there were so many other "far more important issues" in the nation. Uh, hello!!! Another lady said she thought it was "crass" for them to "make light" of such a complex issue by putting it in a 30 second ad....

Did you see the controversial commercial??? Without all of the media attention leading up to the Super Bowl, there is no way I would have ever known that this commercial had anything to do with the Pro-Life Movement. Pam Tebow mentions, "He almost didn't make it into this world." Other than that, there was absolutely no reference to his birth, a recommendation given to her to abort the pregnancy, or anything else relating to abortion whatsoever. I loved it!

On Monday morning, I happened to turn on the TV to see what the unpredictable Lubbock weather would be doing that day and happened to catch a clip on Good Morning, America that was reviewing which Super Bowl ads were successes and which were failures. The woman doing the review mentioned that because of all the Pro-Choice protesting, the $2.5 million investment by Focus on the Family was worth far, far more than that, considering all the attention the ad received. I hate to have such a snooty attitude but I couldn't help but think ha, ha, ha! A movie line from a favorite childhood movie of mine, Major Payne, also came in to my head...One: Don't you feel dumb... Ok, ok, I know that's not the right attitude to have. Honestly though, I'm just marvelling at how God stepped in on this one and took the leap of faith that Focus on the Family chose to make and turned it in to something really special that gave tons of publicity to a cause that is so important to me. If you missed the ad, you can check it out on YouTube and I encourage you to go to the Focus on the Family website (www.focusonthefamily.com) and listen to the Tebow Family's full story about the creation of their awesome son.

"The thief comes only to kill, steal, and destroy. I have come that they may have life and have it more abundantly." - John 10:10

2. In the winter months, I love things that have a slightly nostalgic feel. Like my red tea pot. Mark does not seem to be quite the fan of it that I am. For the first two years of our marriage, I somehow managed to convince him to allow me to keep it on the stove top for "decoration" whether in use or not. With the addition of kiddos who have lots of "stuff," the kitchen quickly became a complete clutter zone so my beloved tea pot got exiled to a cabinet. But in the winter time when I'm craving a nice mug of cocoa, I bust it out to boil my water. No mind that the microwave is just a few feet away and could get the job done much quicker. There's just something about the warm whistling sound when the water is ready that makes me feel all comfy and cozy. I usually leave it out on the stove top till the afternoon when I put it away before Mark gets home. Maybe one day I'll have a open, airy kitchen where a tea pot on the stove will be perfectly appropriate.

3. We celebrated Reagan's birthday with a little party held at Mark's mom's house last Saturday and I couldn't resist attempting some cute little cupcakes for my little cutie. While I wish I could claim to have created these all on my own genius, I would be completely fibbing if I did. I got the idea for the circus animal themed cupcakes from an adorable book my Aunt Mimi gave me a few weeks before Christmas called Hello, Cupcake!: Irresistibly Playful Creations Anyone Can Make. After receiving it, I flipped through and ear marked several adorable ideas I could see myself bringing to life. Without a reason to make cupcakes, the book just glared at me from my shelf of cookbooks in the laundry room each time I'd go in to do a load of wash. Reagan's party was the perfect excuse to give these a try and I certainly had a lot of fun making them. My faithful sous chef, Mark, helped me decorate the cupcakes the night before, despite his aching back from a long week of work. I think they came out great! I'm totally impressed with this fun cookbook and it's great, easy ideas for making darling cupcakes! They really are much easier than they look! ***My plan was to include a pic of the cupcakes, but I'm stuck here in Houston while my camera is in Lubbock. I was supposed to make it back today, but it looks like it will be at least tomorrow so I'll put one up whenever I make it home!

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 5

2010-02-04T06:42:00.000-06:00

1. My baby is turning one next week. I don't like it. At all. I know, I know. He'll still be a baby. And my baby, at that. But there's just something about being one that makes him not as baby-ish as when he's not one. I certainly didn't feel this way with Kolbe. With him, I think we were so proud of all he had been through in his first year and just thrilled that he made it to one with such success, that it didn't matter quite as much. Plus, I was about five months pregnant with Reagan at Kolbe's first birthday, so there was the guarantee of another "baby" just a few months away. Kolbe had to be the big bro! I know that the day after Reagan's birthday will be pretty much the exact same as the day before (it's just a number, after all...), but it makes me sad. I want him to stay a baby forever. I guess the only consolation is that at least for the second year of life, I can still refer to his age in terms of months. (eighteen months, fifteen months...) Once they hit two, they're just two.

2. We got several inches of snow last week. And lots of ice too! It was so pretty, and though Lubbock is probably one of the least scenically attractive cities ever, it's so fun to live in a place where we have all four seasons. Hot summers, cool falls, fresh springs, and cold winters with enough snow to make it fun but not annoying. Especially with kiddos, the snow is a blast! The only thing I hate is the mess it causes during and after. Wet towels, piles of wet snow gear, messy footprints, tons of laundry...the snow has got to be the biggest chore of all forms of precipitation. Not to mention the fact that as soon as they're bundled up, they suddenly have to go pee. It's so worth it, though, to see that look of wonder on their faces!

3. Are you a crock pot cooker? I am. More so in the winter than the summer, 'cause it usually seems like crock pot food is more of the warm, comfort variety. The perks of the crock pot are numerous. Who doesn't love throwing a bunch of stuff in a pot and winding up with a yummy dinner hours later!?! No "cooking" required! The one thing I've always hated, though, is trying to clean that sucker afterward. With several hours of heat streaming in to bubbly contents, it makes for tons and tons of caked on goo along the sides of the pot. A while back I came across a coupon for Reynolds Slow Cooker Liners and decided that I'd have to give them a try. While yes, one of them leaked slightly, overall they've been an awesome addition to the paper goods cabinet at our house. Best of all, they fit all sizes of crock pots, so whether I'm making a roast for dinner or queso for a party, I can throw one on either of my crock pots and don't have to fret about having to clean it up later. Or let it soak on the counter overnight as globs of nasty cheese float to the top of the stagnant water. While not a necessity, they're a fun, appreciated splurge. Such a great invention! Now if only they'd make them in 8"x8" or 13"x9" pan sizes....

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 4

2010-01-28T06:30:00.005-06:00

1. If you're of the male variety, read no further. Let me drop a few words to stop you in your tracks: "period." "cramps." "hormones." There. Now that hopefully all the males that would even consider reading this blog have stopped, I'll begin my rant on my detestation of these things. Grrrr. I suppose I had gotten spoiled. Seriously, I had gone just a little over two and a half years with just one visit from Aunt Flo. (back to back pregnancies will afford you such luxuries...) "Out of sight, out of mind" is a good way to describe how I was feeling toward this whole process and now that it's back, absence had definitely not made the heart grow fonder. I must admit, I'm not a horrible cramper, don't writhe in pain for days, and don't turn in to a she-devil (that I know of); I just don't like the way I feel overall when the ol' "semi-colon" comes to town. (That's what my grandfather, father of five daughters, chose to call it.) It's almost like I walk around in a daze, running on about two cylinders. I guess I must give my thanks to breast feeding. It did get me eleven extra months, after all. But despite the fact that I haven't stopped breast feeding, my body decided it was time to get back to the real world. Actually, I'm pretty sure that I'm cut from a fertile fold of fabric and my body thinks it should be in reproduction mode at all times. Sheesh. At least I don't have it as bad as my poor, poor cousin. She is exclusively breastfeeding her five-month-old and her "friend" has already returned! She must be cut from a double piece off the same bolt. I think I'd put my fist through a wall.

2. I love Target. Really, if I could have a shopping spree to any store in the world, I would pick Target. A few days ago while working at my sewing machine, I had a day dream where I was given thirty minutes to run through Target and get anything I wanted. I literally sat there while sewing and plotted out the path I would take through the store. Where I'd start, where I'd go next, which items I just had to included, and which items would be great, but not necessities. The whole process came complete with a team of people with carts running behind me to catch everything I threw over my shoulder. It was awesome. And it ended with a large Slurpee. Mildly disturbing considering this was not an actual dream and I was completely awake while thinking through this entire trip. Surely I've now scared the rest of you off. (since it should be just us girls reading, right?)

3. The product of the week needs just three words: Elmo's Potty Time. If you're potty training a little one or even considering it, go buy it. It's not expensive. And even if it was, it would be worth it. Even if your kid doesn't like TV. Even if you don't allow TV. This just might be a lifesaver for you like it was for me! Kolbe's not obsessed with it any more, but I'm considering framing it and hanging it above the boys' potty as a shrine of sorts. It's been automatically elevated to Asmussen Family Classic level. You know, up for several Oscars. (the Grouch, I suppose....)

Adventures in Potty Training

2010-01-25T21:03:00.005-06:00

As of tomorrow, we will have officially reached the two week mark with no diapers for Mr. Kolbe Alexander. I'd like to call that officially potty-trained. Hopefully.

To say it has been an interesting few weeks would be an understatement. There have been definite highs (making it through mass, a visit to a friend's house, a trip to the store...accident free) and definite lows (mastering nap time, a poopy accident, and the not-so-accident accidents). Overall, I must admit that it has gone much smoother than I had expected it would.

I think we were destined for success simply based on the fact that Kolbe was more than ready to get started. For the past several months, Kolbe had been telling us whenever he had a poopy diaper. Charming, really. Then it got even more steam-shooting-from-ears inducing. He would tell us BEFORE he needed to go but would sit on the potty, get stage fright, put the diapie back on and go in it two minutes later. Grrr!

But dear sweet Uncle Brian and Aunt Cristi! Oh, how my heart beats for you! Cristi had e-mailed to ask what the boys wanted for Christmas and I simply mentioned that we would be starting Kolbe's potty training soon and he'd be needing some big boy undies. So not only did they buy Kolbe the cutest set of boxer briefs I've ever seen, but they also threw in the beloved Elmo DVD and a little potty training book. Now Kolbe has never been much of a TV watcher. He's a boy! He's much more in to action and playing than sitting down and focusing. He has certainly never been able to follow anything on the TV with a plot or significant amounts of talking. Way too much time and effort for him! But something about the Elmo Potty Time DVD really piqued his interest. It was the final piece that propelled him in to a full-fledged potty-going super star!

The first week was definitely the hardest. We went cold turkey style, just having Kolb walk around in undies and hoping we'd make it to the potty each time he needed to go. Frequent reminders really helped and we had few accidents. Still, the world literally revolved around the potty. Practice makes perfect, after all. And then there was that one lovely morning....

No sooner had I written my posted about my lovely door knob covers than I went in my bedroom for my five minute morning spruce-up and the grossest accident ever occurred. Knock, knock, knock on the door, "Mama!" Nothing out of the ordinary. "Mama!" This is my private time, kiddo. Be there in a sec. After all, I had just taken him to the bathroom a few minutes ago. He couldn't possibly need to go again. By the time I rejoined the troops, an ominous odor immediately told me what was up. Changing a poopy diaper is gross. Changing poopy underwear is grosser. Ugh.

And then there was the other day. There he sat on the potty doing his business. (and yes, by "business" I mean #2...he does the #1 standing up.) Reagan was fussing in the other room so I told Kolb I'd be right back. Not 20 seconds later he pattered in to the room with a nervous "Uh-oh. Uh-oh." I followed him back to the bathroom only to find that his interest in what was going on in the family room with Reagan and me had apparently overtaken his need to finish his business, so he had just slid right on off that potty to come see what was going on, leaving streaks of something special all along the potty and down his legs. Sweet.

But I have to say, the victories have been just as note-worthy too. Heck, today we were traipsing through WalMart and he told me he had to go in plenty of time to get to the front of the store, check out, and use the public bathroom. (Gross.) And the other day, we were all the way down on 19th Street (quite a way from our home) when he told me he had to go from the back seat of the car. I talked him through holding it on the ten minute drive home and we made it without a single leak. I don't even have to remind him to tell me any more. He's got it completely figured out!

The only problem will be the "non-accident accident." Kolbe has figured out that since he has full control of his faculties, he can use them to his advantage, should he decide to do so. For example, today he decided to rear back and hit is baby brother...
"Go to your room, Kolbe, and think about being nice to your baby brother," I told him. He trotted of, the lovely little obedient boy. Thirty seconds later he ran back in:
"Uh-oh. PeePee. Bed. Mama."
"No, Kolbe. You didn't go peepee in your bed today. You made it through nap time with no accidents! Remember? Good job!"
"No. Uh-oh. PeePee. Bed. Mama." He led me by hand to his room where, sure enough, he had sat right in the middle of his bed and let it all go. Knowing that he had just gone on the potty not ten minutes before, this was definitely a non-accident. Let's just say I couldn't force myself to clean it up right then. I literally had to walk away and cool down, I was so mad!

My little guy is growing up. He's gaining his independence and freedom. Really, it's kind of bittersweet. Sweet in that my always stinky diaper pail is suddenly not quite as bad. Sweet in that I now get to see the tiniest little pairs of undies in the wash. (and I mean TINY! Undies on a 24 pounder!) Bitter in that my baby isn't really a baby any more. And I hate it. But luckily, I've grown him in to something just as wonderful. Now, when I ask him if he's my baby he says, "No, RuRu. Baby." (Reagan's the baby.)
"So what are you, Kolbe?" I ask.
"Seet. Haht!" (Sweetheart!)

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 3

2010-01-21T09:22:00.002-06:00

1. My world has revolved around potty training this week. Three full days of "total submersion" into all things potty followed by several more days of getting used to participating in the real world in undies instead of a diaper. This includes everything from going at a friend's house, going at a restaurant, going at Target, and even going behind a tree at the park because Mama forgot the travel potty. Really, I've had to think about it non-stop because what self-respecting two-year-old boy would honestly want to spend his day doing that!?! Though I must admit, 9 times out of 10, he tells me when he needs to go. It's just that 10th time when I'm glad I reminded him.

2. Has anyone else been having problems with Blogger? Mine is behaving badly. I really don't like either of the blogging formats they offer. I usually end up bouncing back and forth between both formats just to be able to do what I want to do. Surely it's not that hard to come up with a blogging system that's user friendly! I hardly have time to get on and blog as it is, so when I do, I'd like for it to be a smooth, efficient process. Free time is precious, people! The last thing I want is for it to end with frustration! And if google can't do it, I may just have to go to a different system! Bahumbug!

3. This past summer I (finally) took up sewing after twenty-seven years of watching my mother do it on a regular basis. Really? It took that long? Yes. I had always wanted to learn how to sew but was one of the busiest high schoolers you could ever imagine and just never got around to learning. Then college came and it was more of the same. My parents got me a new sewing machine for my twenty-seventh birthday (which I absolutely LOVE) and I haven't turned back since. I love the feeling of actually producing something after a project is completed. And sometimes when the only thing going on with the boys in a day is total nonsense, making something with the machine is quite empowering!

Anyway, this "thought" is not about the love of my sewing machine. Yes, I love it dearly, but right now I'm just totally infatuated with my magnetic pin cushion. I supposed I just needed to give it the proper background story before I jumped in to discussing it's super powers. Prior to receiving this awesome gift from Abby for Christmas, I was using the good ol' tomato pin cushion where you have to physically push each pin into the cushion. The only problem was that as I would sew, I would pull out each pin and just set it on the table. Seriously, who wants to stop the machine to push each pin into the cushion?! Get real! So I would end up with a pile of pins on the table and then put them all back in the cushion at the same time. Inadvertently, there'd always be one (or seven) pins that would roll to the floor, under the table, across the room.... You get the point. Despite my efforts to track them down, there were constantly run-aways. Mark constantly was getting on to me when his magic eyes somehow tracked them down. But alas! A creation that solves this problem completely! The magnetic pin cushion zaps up any metal object that comes with in a foot of it. Seriously, drop a pin relatively close to it, and it sucks it right in! It even holds my thick, heavy, metal fabric scissors with no problem. I have several baby showers coming up so I've been sewing away in my free time (i.e. pretty much rarely, always during nap time, and certainly not more than 30 minutes a day...) and finally getting to use my new little gadget. Let me just say, it's awesome! If you sew, you need one of these! Especially if you have little ones. Their knees and hands will thank you! (or Aunt Abby!)

Three Thought Thursday: Episode 2

2010-01-14T13:18:00.000-06:00

1. So with my second posting of three weekly thoughts, I ran in to a little bit of a dilemma. I literally spent about five minutes while showering last night debating if I should keep track of how many I've done, what number I'm on, etc. I decided at the beginning of the year that I wanted to try to do this every week for one year. So that's 52 of 'em, right? Why not just say #1, #2, #3? Too boring. Next, I thought of calling them "issues" like a magazine. But Lord only knows that I already have plenty of "issues" of a different variety. Why add 52 more? So with the hot water running out, I decided on "episodes". While yes, episodes are often associated with television, it also sounded somewhat southern to me. And I miss southern. (no, Texas is not real southern. Mississippi is real southern.) I could just picture a Scarlet O'Hara lounging with her hand across her forehead having an "episode".

Did I seriously put that much thought in to this? Yes. Am I ridiculous? Yes. After all, I'm pretty sure that roughly three people read this on a regular basis. And two because they're forced to! My parents receive it via e-mail even though they never asked to, and my beloved cousin, Mandi, actually took sympathy on me and requested that I send it to her each time I post so that she could keep up with my musings. Bet she regrets that request now! And the third person? Who knows? Hopefully you're out there somewhere!

2. Want to know something crazy!?! I actually won our family's annual bowl pick contest. Me. Yes, me. The only team I actively followed this year was Tech. All my other picks were at complete random. Whichever team sounded cooler got the nod. I did great through new years and then not too well to finish out. But luckily, I had it in the bag by the afternoon of Jan. 1. Figured I should document it since it's more than likely never gonna happen again. And my prize? A whopping $35! Think I should splurge on a new diaper pail?!?! (Which by the way, my aforementioned cousin and I were discussing these vile things earlier this week and she mentioned that someone needed to create a stainless steel diaper pail so it wouldn't absorb the smell. Why hasn't anyone done this??? Anyone want to make me one???)

3. Last week I professed my love for my Swiffer Vacuum. (ahhhhh.) After some thought, I realized that I spend way too much time desiring new things for myself, my kids, or my house. Usually unnecessary things. So I thought maybe each week I could try to find one thing in my house that I like. Something that I’m thankful for. To make me appreciate what I do have and not lust after what I don’t! Of course, the things I appreciate the most are things I could never find the words to write about on a meaningless blog. So I’ll reserve this for things that I can find words for. Just plain old material things. Not supernatural things like my beloved husband, amazing children, or infinitely loving God.

So this week I think I’ll delve into my love of door knob covers. Yes, the ones that keep your kids from being able to open the door. With not the hugest house in the world, I didn’t think these would be a necessity, but with the mayhem that is Kolbe and Reagan, I made up my mind that it was time to make a few rooms in our house off limits: the laundry room (what, with all the cleaning supplies and my “second pantry,” it’s a breeding ground for disaster.), the office/guest room (Mark studies in there and his books are all over the place. Reagan managed to tear out a few pages of one of his more important volumes…), and our bedroom. For a long time running, the boys have always been allowed in our room. And even now, they still are at certain points in the day. But the fact of the matter is that it’s our room. Mark’s and mine. Not theirs! Every time one of them manages to weasel his way in there, it always ends with my dresser being emptied out, the bathroom cabinets being ransacked, the toilet water being splashed in, my shoes being set up across the length of the bed, or my nightstand being swept clean. There’s pretty much nothing in that room that either one of them needs; therefore, I decided it should be off limits.

So this limits their play to the kitchen, family room, hallways, and their bedroom. (and now that Kolbe goes on the potty, the hall bathroom, too.) If I had known how well the door knob covers would help control the chaos, I would have bought them a long time ago! And as an added bonus, I’ve taken up a practice of allowing myself five minutes every morning to get dressed, brush my teeth, and touch up my face sans the boys. Previously, with both boys in the room, it often took a good twenty minutes or more. I constantly had to stop to break up fights, take away bottles of shampoo, close dresser drawers, etc. Now, I can get the boys interested in something, sneak away to the room and be done in a flash. They usually realize I’m gone and are sitting outside the door waiting for me when I come out. Slightly pitiful, but worth it! Yea for door knob covers!

Horray!!!

2010-01-12T20:33:00.004-06:00

I definitely wasn't planning on writing a post tonight, but I absolutely cannot resist!!!

Why? Because HE FINALLY DID IT!!! KOLBE FINALLY PEED ON THE POTTY!!!!!!!!!!

Can you tell that I'm a little bit excited??? For those of you with older kiddos, I'm sure you can remember the day when that first miraculous little trickle sprang forth from your little one into something other than his or her diaper. For those of you with little ones younger that mine, (or that haven't figured out the potty yet) just wait! It's awesome! You would think that we won the lottery or something!

Maybe it isn't that big of a deal. But for some reason, it is to me! Maybe it's that's I've been wiping Kolbe's dirty hiney for twenty-six months. Or maybe it's that I've been wiping two dirty hinies for the past eleven months! Either way, just the thought that only one in diapers is just around the corner literally made me go to the kitchen and pour myself a celebratory glass of wine.

As for potty training, we haven't even started yet. I originally planned on starting it back in October, but for one reason or another it has been put off and put off. I've decided that I want to do the three day "cold turkey" method where you basically let them run around nakie for three days, watching their every move, and rushing them to the potty the second you see either form starting to "emerge". I've had several friends with success in this method, so I thought I'd give it a try. That being said, it's almost a necessity to have a helper with this process since there's no way I can give Kolbe 100% of my attention with Reagan around. Since Mom is my elected helper, I've had to work around her schedule too, and we just haven't been able to get this started.

We finally decided on the end of this month so for the past week I've really begun to pour on the "potty talk" with Kolbe. Uncle Brian and Aunt Cristi gave him a potty DVD for Christmas that he just loves. He has several potty books that we read too. Every time we change his diaper we talk about how it's yucky and nasty and big boys don't have to go in their pants. He also gets to sit on his big boy potty or the real potty whenever he asks.

Tonight when he was getting out of the tub, he kept saying his hiney hurt. Since I knew he hadn't gone #2 all day and nothing had happened to make his hiney hurt, I assumed it might be bathroom related. We let him sit on the potty to no avail, but every time I told him it was time to get off and go get dressed for bed, he insisted on staying. I allowed him to stay on his little boy potty while I took Reagan to the other room to nurse.

Mark was in the office studying and I could hear Kolbe in there saying, "Dada, Dada." All of a sudden, Mark came running in to the family room saying, "He did it! He did it!" Around the corner they came, potty in hand with a lovely yellow liquid inside. We were all jumping up and down as if a miracle had happened. Being the disgusting mom I am, I even got out the camera! Apparently on his own, he finally decided to go and then took it to daddy to show him.

Ahem, I interrupt this blog post to bring you an update! Seriously, while I was typing this (and Kolbe was enjoying his reward for peeing of laying on the couch and watching his Potty DVD) he just decided to let off a poopy in his potty too! I am not even kidding you!!! I have pictures (that I won't disgust you and post) to prove it!!! He just up and decided that he needed to go and got up the courage to do it!!! And to add to that, after we flushed the poopy, he got right back on and went pee again. Is it possible that he could just all of the sudden figure this out? Can I go pour myself a second glass??? Am I bizarre for being so excited about this???

A Home Where Children Live

2010-01-10T22:32:00.003-06:00

One of the things that has alarmed me the most about being a stay-at-home mom has been the amount of time it takes to keep the house somewhat under control. And by somewhat I mean no food or juice spilled on the floor, no markers splayed casually across the table, no dirty diapers overflowing from the stinky pail. Realistically, keeping toys picked up is an impossibility.

When Kolbe was a baby and I was back at work, I never realized how time consuming keeping up with the household was. We'd get home from work around 5:30 and eat dinner, play for an hour or two, and then off to bed. Our routine barely gave him any time to destroy the house. Now that not only are they home ALL day long, but there's two of them too, it's a constant battle to keep the carpet visible and the table void of some form of food dried to it. And don't even ask if I keep my children perfectly cleaned throughout the day. Does the word 'rag-a-muffin' mean anything to you? We use it frequently in our home.

A week or so ago, my sister-in-laws Abby and Casey and I were in a maternity store. For once, I wasn't shopping and had time to relax for a minute or two while they were trying on clothes. The store we were in had a neat little area set up for kids to play in while their mamas shopped. On the wall behind the play area, the following was displayed:

This is a Home Where Children Live
You may not find things all in place,
Friend, when you enter here.
But we’re a home where children live,
We hold them very dear.

And you may find small fingerprints
And smudges on the wall.
When the kids are gone, we’ll clean them up,
Right now we’re playing ball.

For there’s one thing of which we’re sure,
These children are on loan.
One day they’re always underfoot,
Next thing you know, they’re gone.

That’s when we’ll have a well-kept house,
When they’re off on their own.
Right now, this is where children live,
A loved and lived-in home.

I just loved this little poem! These words couldn't be truer about our house. I don't even try to pretend like we've got it all together here. Heck, our entire family room is a "what's what" of toddler toys and our mantle proudly displays not beloved family photos, but toys that have been taken away for their misuse as weapons of brotherly destruction.

But as the poem says, there's far too little time to waste every waking moment cleaning up the evidence of our day-to-day activities. And even if there were enough time, I don't know that I'd want to wipe it all away. There's something so precious about seeing Kolbe's little scribble marks on construction paper proudly taped haphazardly to the wall or Reagan's blankies and rattles piled high in the middle of the kitchen floor. They call out to me as if to say, Yes, we're a mess, but stop! Think about it! You have a mess! That means you have two beautiful, happy, loved boys who are growing, learning, experiencing, and enjoying life! Be thankful!

After all, on a day to day basis, who am I trying to impress? As a mother, truly my only audience is these boys and God. And I'm pretty sure both the boys and God could care less about whether the floor has been mopped today or not.

Three Thought Thursday

2010-01-07T06:30:00.001-06:00

There's another mom with a blog that I read from time to time that does a "Seven Quick Takes" every Friday. Just seven little ditties about whatever thoughts she's having at the moment. Countless other bloggers have picked up on this routine and added it to their blogs. It's pretty neat because you can go to her blog and check out many of the other women and their seven takes for the week.

While I love this idea (as I tend to always have lots of random thoughts running through my head throughout the day), I have felt a little intimidated by the number seven. While yes, I do think about more than seven things in any given week, I doubt I'd be able to make that many thoughts coherent on the blog. And Lord knows I'd never find the time to adequately articulate seven complete thoughts. Thus, I've decided for the new year I'll start my own little random thought routine and do a Three Thought Thursday once a week. Surely I can manage three complete thoughts, right? Here we go for Week One!

1. I LOVE Christmas decorations. Really. There's something so special about the way a Christmas tree, an Advent wreath, stockings, and a Nativity scene make my home feel once all the decorations are all in place. Despite the cold outside, they just seem to make the whole house warmer. And I don't know about you, but this year I felt more excited about Christmas than I had since I was about six years old. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of a two-year-old was just SO exciting! A smile spreads across my face just thinking about next year! So yes, I decked my house out as much as my minimal budget would allow. And today I faced the daunting task of taking it all down. Buh. Love putting it up; hate taking it down. Seriously, the only part I like about taking it down is the smile on my face when I think about setting it all up next year!

2. Is it wrong to want something you already have? Depends on what it is, I'm sure you're saying. In my case, it's a diaper pail. I know, I know. Get real, right? But seriously! We've had the same diaper pail since Kolbe was born, and while it still works as intended, it's driving me crazy. No matter what I spray on it, sprinkle in it, wipe it down with, it still smells horrible. I took it in the backyard and got after it with the hose and some bleach cleaner. It still smells bad. I think the stink has been absorbed into the plastic. Heck, can you blame it? Considering it went through fifteen months of just Kolbe followed by eleven months with BOTH stinky boys, it's probably housed about five thousand dirty diapers thus far. The lever has been flipped over so many times that the rubber edging catches the rim and forces me to get aggressive on a daily basis. But for some reason I can't seem to justify buying a new one. Maybe I'm expecting it to spontaneously combust of stinky-ness or something.

3. In my world to date, the greatest cleaning tool in the world has got to be The Swiffer Vacuum. Prior to Reagan's birth I was completely blind to it's greatness. My mom and brother Dave used to rave about it and I just shrugged and assumed it was another cleaning gimmick that wasn't worth the investment. After all, I already owned the regular Swiffer Sweeper. You know, the stick that you attach the dusting cloth to that picks up all the nasty on the floor. While the Swiffer Sweeper is wonderful for picking up all the microscopic stuff that the broom can't get, it still requires the broom for all the big pieces, not to mention the dust pan. So you're making two complete trips around the floor. But alas, my beautiful mother bestowed upon me The Swiffer Vacuum as a mommy gift after Reagan was born. Sigh. I love that thing! It's literally like a DustBuster on a stick with the added bonus of the dusting cloth as well. It picks up all the big pieces AND all the microscopic pieces! Plus, it swivels around every piece of furniture and is much easier to use than the common broom. No dirt pile, no dust pan. It. Is. Awesome! Seriously, if you have $25 sitting around, buy yourself this. Or get someone else to buy it for you! I think you can even find coupons for it online. Totally worth the investment. I use mine constantly and every time I marvel at it's greatest.

My Little Catholic Kolbe

2010-01-04T01:22:00.004-06:00

Mark got an adorable little table book for Christmas about lessons every father must teach his son. We've had a blast over the past week or so thumbing through all the little one-liners and dreaming of the future fun we'll have with our boys. One page in particular stood out to me; it reads:

"Remember, your primary duty as a father is to develop your son's spiritual well-being."

Mark and I have firmly believed this about having children since the get-go, but seeing it on paper and written by someone else just really hit home to me. The spiritual well-being of these boys is our greatest responsibility as parents. And Mark has said it before too: "My most important job is to get you and the boys to heaven!"

That being said, Mark and I have been trying our best to get these guys started in our faith at an early age. For the most part we've just assumed that they'll pick it up as they grow and comprehend God more easily. And, of course, praying and leading by example is essentially the most obvious route to take in this journey. We pray with the boys, take them to mass, read them books about God and how much He loves them, and let them see us praying as well.

I must say that we've been amazed at the way the understanding of God has blossomed in Kolbe this year. It started with his love of wearing his rosary around his neck. Shortly there after he began getting one of Mark's rosaries out of his nightstand drawer whenever possible and carrying it around. He then quickly developed his own makeshift sign of the cross which has become progressively more perfected over the passing months.

And just within the past month or so, some of the cutest, most pride inducing moments ever! A few Sundays ago at mass Kolbe kept climbing down from the pew during the homily and walking to the end of the aisle. With clenched teeth, I repeatedly whispered, "No, no, Kolbe! Come sit down, please!" He would come sit back down just to get back up and repeat his actions a few minutes later. Suddenly I realized what was going on. Kolbe would walk to the end of our pew, step out in to the aisle, hold on to the pew, crouch down beside it, and then come sit back down. He was genuflecting!!!

Let me just say that had my camera been in my bag, I would have started snapping pictures right in the middle of mass! Totally not kidding. Heck, I came close to hollering out Hey! Look at my two-year-old kid, everyone! Ultimate proud mom moment.

Another favorite is how during the Lord's Prayer he loves to glance around the congregation at everyone holding hands. When he notices the people at the end of each pew holding out their free hand to the "invisible" brother or sister beside them, he holds out his hands too. And sometimes at the end of the prayer when everyone raises their hands higher for the "for thine is the kingdom, the power..." he will stick his arms straight up and throw his head back, looking up to the ceiling for the rest of the prayer. He also likes to hold his arms out like the priest during the consecration, too. And if Mark closes his eyes and bows his head, Kolbe will pretend to close (i.e. squint) his and bow his head as well.

If it sounds like I'm bragging, it's because I am. While all of these things seem "cute" to onlookers (and me as well), the thing I'm most proud of is that the very concepts we want him to learn the most are starting to come through. And it feels so rewarding to actually be able to see that our efforts are completely worth it. Though making it through mass with two babies is sometimes one of the most exhausting activities of my week, it's something I will never ever give up on if it means laying another brick in their road to heaven.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

2009-12-22T09:11:00.006-06:00

Despite my wishin' and hopin' for the opposite, it appears that our "vacation" down to my parents house has come to an end. At least the "vacation" portion of it, that is. (and by "vacation" I mean any possibility of fun whatsoever...) In a few short hours we will be packing up our bags and making the treacherous trek back to Lubbock via I-45 and I-20. I think I'll take a few Advil now to prepare myself for the onslaught of pain that will most definitely ensue in my head during said road trip.

But for the most part, this has been a delightful trip. Nothing says "the holidays" like shopping, eating, lounging, movie-watching, mass attending, and relaxing. All of which I was blessed to be able to do. And I must admit, though it's always fun to be able to give and receive gifts, there's nothing quite like getting to spend a little quality time with family. That's definitely The Good of Travelling with the Asmussens. One aspect I most certainly will never get tired of is getting to see the joy on my parents' faces as they interact with the boys. As previously mentioned, I sometimes get blinded by the stress of chasing two babies and end up missing some of the most precious moments with these guys. Something about grandparenting gives them the grace to truly cherish every little second with Kolbe and Reagan. Maybe it's that they only get to see them from time to time. And maybe it's that they're just a little head-over-heals in love. And while being an adult and a mother and a wife feel so natural to me now, I can't help but also enjoy the ability to come home and be a daughter once again.

But, oh! The Bad! Last year at this time when we came down for Christmas, I was a sluggish six months pregnant and had a feisty thirteen month old. Throw in a staircase, a festively decorated house, and a winter cold (for Kolbe). At times it was literally a recipe for disaster. I remember asking myself Am I really going to be able to do this next year with two!?! But as for Kolbe, I wish I knew then what I know now. I certainly wouldn't have worried as much. Kolbe can now maneuver the staircase quite well, knows not to touch the decorations, and sleeps through the most annoying of sounds.

Including those produced by his brother. (I just dropped a few more Advil into my mouth at the thought...) Reagan, Reagan, Reagan. I sure do love that kiddo, but he's definitely associated with The Bad for this trip. Don't get me wrong. Yes, he did pull all kinds of items off of every surface in the house, broke a beloved heirloom of my parents', and forced us to use baby gates for the stairs. But that wasn't even The Bad part! Heck, he's ten months old; we didn't expect him to be perfect. The nightmare occurred precisely when most nightmares come...at night. I don't know if it was the strange room we all slept in, the absence of his comfort noises that he has at home (humidifier and heater), or the impending protrusion of his left front tooth that caused the breakdown, but I do know that it resulted in between a mere 3 and 6 hours of sleep for me each night.

Seriously, people. I do better at home.

The initial wake-up usually occurred around midnight...and then every thirty minutes to two hours there after. And these weren't "newborn" wake-ups where I could just nurse him and he'd fall right back asleep. These were full blown scream fests that had no rhyme or reason. To add, he would crank the scream up a notch if it was anyone holding him except for me! A few times I found myself asking, Is The Good really worth The Bad? Sheesh. I'm here on a vacation...not to torture myself! Or him, for that matter! Needless to say, there is one reason I'm anxious to get back to Lubbock: to get Reagan back on his normal sleep routine. At least I have the peace of mind of knowing that, should we be able to make the journey again next year, both he and Kolbe will be at the age where this shouldn't be a problem. Lord willing.

And The Ugly. Something I'd rather not discuss but suppose in all honesty, I must. Every year at this time, both Mark and I manage to cave in one specific area. Food. Could it be the strategically placed candy bowls that cry out to me from eye or hand level? The favorite Woodlands restaurants that we just have to go to? The over-sized tin of candy-coated popcorn? The endless supply of my beloved Coca Cola? In fact, it's all of them. And I just can't say no. Unfortunately, by the end of basically every night that we've been here, my stomach has been more than eager to say no. I found myself asking as I tossed and turned uncomfortably in bed, Why did I eat so much today!?! Really, I should practice more self-control... but it just all looks so good! And besides, someone has to eat that last chunk of summer sausage...

Time for a Break

2009-12-15T21:14:00.003-06:00

I'm. On. Vacation.

Ahhhhhhhhh. (yes, that's one long sigh.)

It's somewhat of an unplanned and harried vacation, but a vacation nonetheless. Since we spent Christmas with my family last year, we will be spending this Christmas with Mark's family in Lubbock. Still, both Mark and I have desperately been needing a break. Like a break from Lubbock. A total get-away from the "real world."

When we realized that Mark would be finishing up with his rotation on the 17th (more than a week before Christmas), we decided we'd high-tail it down to The Woodlands for a quick visit with my parents. I suppose my itch to get out was stronger than I thought, as here I sit at my parents computer on the 15th, typing away while my mom puts Kolbe to bed. The boys and I decided to fly down in advance to give Mark some peace and quiet in order to study for his block exam.

Now that I'm here, I feel a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. Like, oh! What a relief! It's so nice to have two extra sets of hands. Two, make that three. Dave arrived this evening. And all three "helpers" love to dote on the boys, an activity that has been beginning to wear on me greatly. Don't get me wrong. There's no better job than taking care of these guys. Lately it has just seemed like total chaos and conflict, and I'm thinking the break will help even things out. At least I'm hoping.

I think as moms we feel like we have to be on our A-game at all times. Whether people are looking or not. Have you ever gotten that guilty feeling in the pit of your stomach when it's noon, you're still in pajamas, heck, your kids are still in pajamas, there's barely a stitch of carpet showing from beneath the mound of toys on the floor, and you're attempting to close your eyes and go to your happy place? I've been feeling it a lot lately. With questions swirling through my mind like Why in the world is nothing working today? How can they look so sweet and act so terrible? Why am I not being an effective mommy? And why is it that guilt is the emotion connected with these questions?

Really, I shouldn't feel guilty for not having it all together all of the time. Trying to come across as the perfect Suzie Homemaker is really unrealistic. I'm a human being. Not only an imperfect mother, but an imperfect person all together. But the thing is, I'm perfectly imperfect. That's the way it's supposed to be. God made us to need Him. Without struggles, weakness, difficulties, and challenges, would we really need Him? I suppose going through these things are quite necessary in order to stay connected.

And another thing. We really shouldn't feel guilty for taking a break. I have a confession to make. I, yes I, a contestant on Who Wants to be a Perfect Mother allowed my barely two year old child to fly on an airplane with his grandmother to Houston and spend the night away from me. (Gasp!) Granted, Reagan and I flew down today...the very next morning...but in all honesty, I had originally decided to let him do it for four whole nights! After deciding that baby steps (for me, not for him) were better, one night was still a major milestone for us. Still, when I stopped by the bank this morning before leaving town, all my former co-workers had seemingly shocked expressions on their faces. You let him do what? How could you!?! All the way to Houston!?! On a plane!?! I would have never imagined that you of all people would do such a thing!!! Cue guilty mom feelings.

But why? My child is safe, he's being completely cared for, and he's happy. Letting him take this little trip should not get me voted off the island. If making my little guy happy, making my parents happy, and giving me a break is bad, then I suppose I'm not cut out for Who Wants to be a Perfect Mother after all. Like I said, perfectly imperfect. As it should be.

And yes, I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow. At a salon. By someone else. And by myself!

A break. It will be good for me. And in the long run, good for my boys and good for my husband. I hope to return to Lubbock rejuvenated, reinvigorated, and more passionate about my career as a mama than ever. Lord willing, the boys will have a totally refreshed mama and wife! (and hopefully one with fabulous locks!)

Black Friday Bonanza

2009-11-27T21:35:00.011-06:00

Every now and then I do something ridiculous.

Ok, maybe more than "every now and then." I guess I should say that every now and then I admit to doing something ridiculous. Like going shopping at 5:00am. On the day after Thanksgiving. Ridiculous, I know.

But the female in me just can't resist! What is it that's so attractive about dragging yourself out of bed when you can be sleeping? The thrill of the chase? The camaraderie of fellow die hard shoppers?

Who knows. My mother claims that the days she doesn't have a desire to go out and shop on the day after Thanksgiving, she'll know she has truly gotten old. If that's the case, I suppose I'll continue to subject myself to such nonsense for years to come. I certainly don't plan on getting "old" any time soon.

And truth be told, we really didn't do much shopping at all. It was more marvelling at all the crazies out there with us. Although, I must admit that I did walk away with a $30 set of 700 thread count sheets courtesy of my mother and oh. my. gosh. Why didn't I get a nice set of sheets sooner!?! These are heavenly! (as if I needed any more reason to want to get some more sleep!)

We met up with my friend, Erin, outside of our local Target. After deciding we weren't willing to stand in the wrap around line that ended in the alley behind the store, we hopped in my mom's car and headed to Kohls. While there was no line outside Kohls, the line to check out inside wrapped completely around the inside of the store and doubled back. Uh, no. So we drove back to Target planning just to get Erin's car and call it a morning. (or is that technically still night!?!)

On the way back we were listening to Christmas music and Erin mentioned a song she and her hubby, Ben heard on the radio. We laughed at the funny "holiday" lyrics of "I need therapy." We also decided that possibly we were the ones needing therapy for being out so early to shop.
Notice I said "possibly."

Unfortunately, we found the person these lyrics were actually written for. The woman behind us in line at Target. Yes, after getting back to the parking lot, we decided to brave the crowd and go in. (Thank God we did, oh lovely sheet set!) Really, the shopping portion wasn't bad at all. We could see the check out lines were getting long so my mom decided to go ahead and get in line while Erin and I finished up. We joined her shortly there after. I offered to go grab my mom a coffee from the cafe and returned within a few minutes.

About 10 minutes later, The Ultimate Crazy decided she needed to let off some steam. Out of no where we hear this lady shout off: "Uh, I just have to say this cause I've been waiting in line just like you people and if you let anyone else cut in line, I'm going to say something! My time is important!"

We were shocked to realize she was talking to us!

Obviously she didn't know who she was messing with. My mom quickly defended the fact that
we were all together, in the same car, and definitely not "cutting." Hello, Lady! It's CHRISTMAS time! And besides! You are shopping at FIVE O' CLOCK IN THE MORNING!!! Did you not expect to stand in line!?! Get over it!

But she didn't give up there. We smiled and went back to our conversation and it just about drove her nuts. She jumped back in a few minutes later saying, "You can stand there and smirk and smile all you want but you better not let another person walk up and cut." Craziness! What is wrong with you, lady!?! She kept mumbling under her breath about us as well. And calling her friends on her cell phone to tattle on us too! She was the kind of lady who would give you the middle finger if you made any attempt of consolation. Ugh! Her attitude definitely put the black in "black Friday."

After about 30 minutes of waiting in line, we made our purchases and stumbled back to the car (making sure Crazy wasn't following to jump us our slash our tires). Needless to say, later in the day nap time for the boys was undoubtedly nap time for Mama too! All in a day's work, right!?!

New "Addictions"

2009-11-15T09:19:00.008-06:00

It's definitely been a little while since I wrote, but not because I didn't have lots on my mind. And of course not because nothing was happening around here. More of the contrary. Instead, I've been spending a good portion of my "free" time indulging in one of my favorite activities from my previous life: reading.

I'm definitely a fiction girl. I love getting lost in stories of other "worlds"--places I can go when my world seems a little crazy! And it's so fun to learn characters--their likes, dislikes, emotions, personality--and finding out how they relate to me. Yes, there are "people" out there like me...even if they aren't real.

But typically I'm strictly a "believable" fiction type of person. I've never been one to dive in to a good fantasy or science fiction-type book and actually enjoy it. In fact, I'm the type of person that doesn't enjoy movies like The Matrix or Star Wars because in the back of my mind I'm constantly saying This really couldn't happen in real life. So much for the imagination, right? But my dear cousin, Mandi, has been begging me to check out the Twilight Saga for some time now (okay, let's be honest...like over a year). Every time she mentioned it, I smugly rolled my internal eyes and ranted off one of my Why waste my time reading a bunch of books that couldn't really happen. As if I have the time! quotes in the back of my head. But several weeks ago when we got together so the kids could play, she brought along the first two books and insisted that I take them and just give them a try. The two books proceeded to sit on top of my jewelry box day after day. I had company coming two weeks in a row and little time to "give something a try."

Before long, I became intrigued by the cover of the first book which features two hands holding a red apple. Immediately my mind wandered to the book of Genesis and the temptation in the Garden of Eden. I wondered if this had anything to do with the theme in Twilight and secretly patted myself on the back for catching it after opening to the first pages and finding a verse from Genesis scrawled on a page of its own. Okay, okay, I told myself. Would reading a few chapters really kill me?

A few weeks of no cleaning, little sleep, piles of dirty laundry, and countless errands left un-run later, the first two books sit back on top of my jewelry box waiting to be returned to Mandi. In exchange for the second two, of course! Despite my loathing of fiction that couldn't really happen, I definitely got drawn in and hooked on this series. While yes, I do still realize that this (probably) wouldn't ever happen, it was so fun to just get lost in a fun story with action, romance, and even some religious themes. (I tend to always be looking for those.)

Now for the embarrassing confession. Beyond being good books, they have begun to makes this series into movies (as I'm sure everyone who owns a television is aware of). Mark and I made a movie night of watching the first one, Twilight, together a week or so ago. First I was shocked that he would actually want to watch it with me, and then I was further amazed that he actually liked it! While the movie was certainly nowhere as good as the book, it did follow along fairly closely and was enjoyable to watch. It's always fun to put real faces with the characters from the pages. Nerd Alert!!! So as for my confession, I'm somewhat ashamed (but not really) to admit that Mandi and I and several of her other Twilight obsessed friends, are actually going to the premier of the second movie, New Moon, on Friday. First of all, I rarely go to the movies. They are way too expensive and often overrated. Secondly, when I do go, I almost always want it to be with Mark. For a date. Thirdly, I don't think I have ever been possessed to do something as ridiculous as go to a premier of a movie as huge and hyped up as this one. Actually, I don't think I've ever been possessed to go to the premier of any movie whatsoever. But I digress. I just couldn't bring myself to turn down both a girl's night and a change to see the book that I just read and loved on screen. Since I'm sure we'll have to stand in line forever just to sit together and fight our way through a crowd of over-the-top teenage girls, I'll probably be back on here regretting this choice next week, but oh well! Good luck to Mark and Co. with watching the babies while I'm off to my fantasy world of Twilight!

On another note, somewhere in between the more than one thousand pages I've read in the past few weeks, we managed to celebrate my first son's second birthday. There are tons of fun pics on our other blog site, but I thought I'd share a few on here of one little element I was quite proud of. Mark and I have always loved to watch cooking shows and I've always been fascinated with the cake making shows. While many people have told me that fondant icing tastes icky, I still had a strange desire to give it a try. And what better excuse than a two-year-old's birthday party!?! If it came out looking like a hot mess, it would be no biggie. So the night before Kolbe's party, Mark and I (with the help of Aunt Abby making little balls for the trim) sat at the kitchen table together and made our little guy's cake. Here are the results!

Another little slightly more domestic "addiction" I've gotten in to is making sugar cookies with royal icing. I've seen them done many times and always wanted to try on my own. The first batch I made (back in September) were pretty good but needed a lot of help with icing. The second batch I made (for Katie's baby shower) were cute but had one major flaw. Instead of making the icing homemade, I bought some store brand that was supposed to work the same way. It didn't. The icing never solidified and so they weren't quite the same as what I had hoped for. Luckily, the third time was a charm and Kolbe's birthday cookies came out just as I hoped. While I find it ridiculous to brag about doing things I should be able to do (like keeping the house clean, keeping two boys fed, cleaned, and happy, keeping our lives in order, etc.) I can't help but share when I manage to crank out something extra special that I never imagined I could hold in my bag of tricks. Thank God I don't have to post all the "flubs" I've amassed in this lifetime too!

No Rest for the Weary

2009-10-31T14:27:00.013-05:00

So maybe I have done a little too much bragging about my precious little Reaga-Rudy-Booty. He's the perfect baby! He eats well! Sleeps well! He never cries! Most of those traits remain true for Reagan.

Except for one.

One very (VERY) important one.

In the past few weeks, Reagan's sleeping has gone from great to fair to down-right horrible. How horrible? Here's my sleep log for him from last night:

8:00pm - asleep after nursing.
10:45pm- fussing. Mark calms and gets him back to sleep.
11:30pm- whimpering. Pat his back, rub his head, back asleep.
11:53pm- crying. Nurses. back to sleep by 12:07am.
1:47pm- fussy again. Try to let him resolve on his own in hopes he's just stirring...no luck. Orajel
on gums, cuddle, pat, back to sleep by 2:05am.
3:01am- crying. Tried patting and cuddling. Put down but woke back up. Nursed on one side for
a few minutes but then stopped. Rocked, cuddled, asleep by 3:36am.
4:40am- moaning and groaning. Sitting up in bed. Ended up walking and bouncing him back to
sleep. Asleep by 4:51am.
5:30am- wide awake. Attempted good ol' fashion swaddling and held him close. Asleep by
6:00am.
6:40am- awake for the day

Does this sound like any of your children? For your sake, I certainly hope not. Maybe I have just been spoiled. Regardless, this has turned in total nonsense. If my math is correct (which considering the lack of sleep, it may not be) other than the very first chunk of sleep from 8-10:45, the longest he slept at any given point was one hour and forty minutes! That's worse than a newborn! Sheesh!

So what's the culprit? Part of me is hoping and praying that it's just his teeth. He finally had one come in a few weeks ago and another that has been bulging for a week or so. The other part of me is hoping it's not his teeth. Uh, hello! There are TONS more that still have to come through! I can't keep this up forever! We had his grandpa check him out and it's definitely not an ear infection. No fever either. Not too hot, not too cold. And the funny thing is, besides generally sleepiness, he's relatively happy during the day. Whatever is bothering him that much at night doesn't seem to be bothering him during the day. Grandpa gave one suggestion that's also a possibility. He said that babies begin dreaming around 9 months of age and this could be what's waking him so abruptly in the middle of the night. Hmmm...plenty of suspects.

Really, who knows what's to blame. All I know is that I'm hoping and praying that it stops soon! I try to keep myself healthy, but this little issue I tend to stuggle with (lupus) is not very fond of lack of sleep. I've been looking back through several sleep books in hopes of discovering some little trick or technique that might be better for Reagan. How can he go from sleeping so well for so long to barely sleeping at all!?! I have faith that it will eventually resolve itself.

But faith isn't making it any better right now! I love my little guy and would gladly sit up all night with him, but I have to be healthy to be a good mom and give Reagan everything he needs. And Kolbe too! Sleep is required! But then again, who am I to complain. I'm on here typing a dadgum blog post instead of taking a nap. (but of course, that's just because Reagan is sleeping...which I know will be short lived. Why tease myself with a nap!?!)

For the Love of Lists

2009-10-24T13:28:00.006-05:00

Ok, I have to admit I have a slight obsession with lists. It used to not be so bad, but my nearly year-long trek as a stay-at-home mom has turned it in to utter nonsense. Luckily, as of now, I'm pretty sure that no one knows about my list obsession. Well Mark may have an inkling. Every now and then I'll leave one out on the counter and I'll catch him reading it over. Laughing.

Lists are perfect for every occasion. Groceries, items to get at Target, things to be done before tomorrow, stuff to get Mark for Christmas, goals to reach before next year...the list of lists goes on and on. But it's not just the number of lists I have, but habits in keeping them as well that makes this practice so ridiculous.

Everything, and I mean everything has to be listed. For example, on my regular weekly "to-do" list, I have everything from "laundry" (which should be assumed) to "thank you note for so-and-so" (which realistically could be forgotten if not included on the list). But that's not it. When it comes to cleaning, I insist on listing out each room. "Vacuum boys' room", "vacuum office", "vacuum family room". It can't just be "vacuum the whole house". Stupid, I know!

And many items on these lists are simply wishful thinking. Do any of you honestly think that "take down and wash all glass light fixtures" will get checked off any time soon? Or how about "scrub down kitchen table and chairs" ??? I think not. I suppose they are just things that I recognize as needing to be done and I simply don't want to forget. So twenty-some-odd years from now when I have the time....

I know; I'm probably starting to sound a bit crazy. Which might not be too far off. But please, let me explain why I love lists:

1. They make me feel organized.
2. They are the memory that I'm somehow lacking ever since I became a mother. Ever heard of Mommy Brain???
3. In a world where I often feel like I get nothing accomplished other than a few dirty diapers changed, even just one, simple, left-handed check mark on that paper can be so satisfying!
4. And in extreme cases, getting multiple items checked off the list or (gasp!) and entire list completed, I actually feel like somewhat of a super hero.

Ahh. Wasn't that a lovely, non-check-needing list!

So, you see, adding each individual room in my cleaning endeavors is merely a way of rewarding myself. It's kind of like the little kid who gets to put a sticker on his chart every time he does a chore or goes potty in the toilet. Way to go, Laura! You got seven check marks today! Pathetic, I know.

And you should see me when we travel. A list for me, a list for Kolbe, and a list for Reagan. But seriously! Who wants to get on the plane or fifty miles out of town and realize they forgot their toothbrush or phone charger!?! Not me. The list is the perfect thing to prevent this tragedy. And I've even been known to type out my travel packing list and print not just one, but two copies so that I can have one for the return trip home. (a whole new set of check marks! Sweet!)

But my most shameful admission has yet to be mentioned. Embarrassingly, I have made it a practice to add things to my lists that have already been accomplished. For example, the other day I headed out to the garage, dust-buster in hand, determined to clean out the back seat of the Camry. Upon returning inside, I headed to my list to mark it off. In disgust, I realized that "vacuum out back seat of car" was no where to be found! I did something and was not going to be rewarded with a check mark! This just could not be, so I jotted it down to the bottom of the list and proceeded to check it off immediately. (Borderline OCD, right!?!)

But alas, if my little list ritual helps get me through the day, it's probably fairly harmless. Still, I somehow feel a little better and not so weird just by explaining my love of lists on here. While I doubt any of you are as ridiculous as me in this habit, I'm sure many of you love the comfort of lists as well. I'm not the only one. Right? .....Right!?!

The Early Bird...

2009-10-19T06:33:00.001-05:00

Typically I would follow such a title with "gets the worm." However, my little early bird never seems interested in eating at all. Yes, here we sit, Reagan and I, passing the early morning hours together. It's still pitch black outside, and I almost look forward to the day light savings time change just so I won't be taunted by the fact it's still beyond dark and I'm not asleep.

Some mornings, Reagan manages to sleep in with his big bro...and by sleep in, I mean 7:45 or 8:00 at the latest. But over the past few months or so, the time for full alert more often than not has started with a 6. And every now and then a 5. Grrr. And the reason is even more aggravating! No, he doesn't want to eat. No, he's not waking up at some strange sound or because he's cold or hot. Nope.

My sweet little dumpling is waking up for his daily number two. Seriously! As if he can find no other time in the day where this would be appropriate!

And believe me; I've tried everything to control the situation. It usually plays out something like this:
- The famous grunting begins. (almost identical to Kolbe's notorious sound.)
- Laura makes a rapid attempt to quell the situation while Reagan is still technically asleep.
- Reagan refuses to nurse. Doesn't want to be patted. Doesn't want to walk around and be bounced.
- He's wide awake. It's a lost cause. Off to the family room, we go.

I guess the saying is true; when you gotta go, you gotta go. The only redeeming factor about this whole situation is that Reagan (at this stage in life) is marvelous at independent play. He's just recently perfected his mobilization tactics and loves the freedom to roam the room and peruse all of the toys while Kolbe's not around to steal them. So typically as this early morning ritual rolls on, I plop him down with a basket of toys and curl up on the couch beside him with a blanket and pillow. While it's never "real" sleep, I can often superficially doze off for a few minutes while he's doing his deed.

But then, of course, the next battle begins: keeping the little stinker quiet so he doesn't wake his brother up! I suppose there's nothing quite like starting your day with a poopy diaper. Our little early bird certainly doesn't get the worm. Just give him a roll of toilet paper, a cup of coffee, and the morning paper and he'll be happy!

Praise and Encouragement

2009-10-15T22:40:00.004-05:00

First of all, thanks to everyone for all of the positive comments since "going public" with the new blog! It's been very encouraging for me. Nice to know that some of you out there are experiencing some of the same things we go through on a daily basis. And my apologies to those of you emailed who attempted to post a comment and got rejected. I somehow had it set to where comments wouldn't post without my approval. I went in and changed it this morning so we should be all good now. And for everyone who asked, yes, our new laundry detergent does work! I know, I know. I say that as if I was expecting it not to work. Which I kind of was. I guess it's my mother's voice in the back of my head saying, "With some things, you get what you pay for." But in the case of the laundry detergent, by spending less, you definitely get more! Here's a link to a website that has several different recipes for homemade laundry detergent. If you feel so inspired, try one that sounds good to you! (http://tipnut.com/10-homemade-laundry-soap-detergent-recipes/) .

So back to what I was saying earlier...the responses I received about some of the other posts on here were so encouraging to me! A few nights ago Mark and I had a heart to heart and I was trying to explain to him the solitude of being a stay-at-home mom. I'm a very social person. I love to talk. Probably too much. As if the rest of the world wouldn't want to hear my opinion! : ) But then, I've always known this about myself. One thing I didn't realize about myself before committing to the world of Kolbe and Reagan was how much I loved praise. And no, I'm not talking about Oh Laura! You're so wonderful! I'm in awe of your greatness! That's just awkward. Gross. I'm talking about little things. Good job! or Wow! You got that done quick! Just little affirmations that encouraged me to keep going. When I worked at the bank I got to hear these all the time. And when I was teaching it was more of the Thanks, Miss Hefferly! or Hey, Heff! that I relished from my students.

What a rude awakening stay-at-home-momship has been! The only time I hear Thanks from Kolbe is when I tell him to say it. Like 5 times in a row. Does hearing praise really mean that much to me? Is that what really kept me going all along? Come on. Admit it. We all like to know that we're doing well. I explained to Mark that when he comes home at the end of the day, he is often the only person I've spoken to the entire day. Literally. I'm not kidding. The only non-jibberish, coherent conversation! And so not only do I covet just the time spent talking, but his words of encouragement as well. I know that he doesn't see half of what goes on here day in and day out, but it still makes me beam like a kindergartener displaying his first finger painting when Mark tells me the house looks nice or dinner was yummy.

Don't get me wrong, when Kolbe runs up and give me a hug or when Reagan shoots me his irresistible smile, it's all the praise I need to keep on going. They are truly my reward for pretty much everything in life. But as their mother, I'm finding more and more that in order to be the best mom I can be, I've got to take care of myself too. And that means challenging myself, using my God-given talents, and connecting with other people. Maybe that's another reason why I started writing on here: hoping to connect. And probably why I felt so thrilled when I read several of your emails saying how you related to my stories. Since blogging and emailing often take up quite a bit of time, I've also tried to start texting more often. Those only take a few seconds but can mean so much. Heck, if we're going to pay for texting on our phones, why not use them to touch base with other friends or encourage someone else? For me, even just receiving a text that says Hey! is so exciting! Hark! Someone thought about me! And I tend to be thinking about other people I love too!

Once again, sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice. The day you find out you're pregnant, the sacrifice begins. Not just money, not just time, but a great deal of yourself. The little things you enjoyed that you didn't even realize you enjoyed. And yes, the insecurities do seem to creep in, but is it worth it? You betcha!

The Poor House

2009-10-13T19:37:00.011-05:00

So as all of you who know us well know, Mark and I have been living in the proverbial "poor house" for quite some time now. Considering neither one of us is gainfully employed, it's no wonder this imaginary dwelling feels so much like home. And really, I can't believe it's been almost a year since I left my job at the bank to pursue my dream career of being a stay-at-home mom. Time sure does fly when you're having fun. Or maybe it just flies when all the days are the exact same as the one before. Or when there's so little sleep that you're not sure if a new day has started yet or not.

But back to the poor part of things. To be completely honest, there are days when I'd give anything to have a little bit of money to do certain things with. Such as have an exterminator come by the house. Or buy a replacement lamp for the one that Kolbe knocked down more than a year ago. (It no longer works but remains perched behind our arm chair for decoration.) But there are also days when I truly believe that going through this zero-income part of our lives is actually a wonderful thing. And I'm so glad that it's happening at the beginning of our marriage and lives as parents. The lessons we are learning now are the very building blocks we hope to build the foundation of our family on.

To me, what it all boils down to is sacrifice. From the get go, Mark and I asked ourselves how much we'd be willing to give up in order to raise our family the way we felt God was calling us to raise it. Without hesitation, we both agreed that we'd be willing to do anything in attempt to follow through with this enormous responsibility God has given us. And undoubtedly, there has been more than one occasion where He has forced us to live up to this commitment.

I think I've found that a lot of the things I think I need, I really don't. After all, they are just things. (Ok, the bug man coming out really would be nice...) Being "poor", I suppose, keeps me from indulging in things that really aren't necessary. And lets be honest here, Mark and I are actually rich compared to most of the rest of the world! And in these first few years of marriage and parenthood, not having plenty of money at our disposal has taught me how to be willing to give up what I want for what's best for our family. I certainly hope that in the years to come when we are making money and do have a little cash on hand, I will remember these years and rely on these lessons to continue the gift of sacrifice for our family. And hopefully teach our kids the value of the gift of sacrificial love!

And as an added bonus, not having much money has totally helped me hone my cheapskate, coupon clipping, bargain shopping skills. In fact, over the past two days, I managed to make my own laundry detergent from a recipe I got online. We'll see how well it works! It literally costs less that one tenth of the price to make this detergent than it does to buy the normal detergent found at the store. Even if we had the money, I think I'd have a hard time paying ten times as much for something I know I can make myself. I'll keep you posted...

(my stores of laundry detergent in the garage to last us through the winter!)

Project: De-Clutter

2009-10-06T18:28:00.005-05:00

As I write this, the boys and I are hanging out in our "playroom" (aka: half of the garage that I have set up like a playroom with all the toys that take up way too much room inside). While there have been several days in the past few weeks that have hinted at the arrival of fall, today has been the first real day where I could actually smell it. In fact, earlier today while making lunch and doing a little laundry, I opened the back door as well as the garage door to let the cool air blow through the house. I love when it's not exactly cold outside, but the wind is cold. It makes me feel like I can't decide if I should go on a walk or curl up on the couch.

As a woman of constant phases, fall also happens to be the time of year when I hit a sudden urge to clean, re-organize, and de-clutter. I think it goes back to this time two years ago when I began my first bout with nesting. While my mother insisted that nesting 8-10 weeks before my due date was a bad idea, I just had that overwhelming urge to get my house in order. Sure enough, when Kolbe came a whole month early, I was thankful for the urges! Oddly enough, I was also pregnant this time last year. And with my pregnancy with Reagan, I seemed to be in a constant state of nesting. With Mark in Midland the majority of the time, home organization seemed to be one of the things I could do to pass the evenings alone.

But this fall is a little different. No, I'm not pregnant. And thankfully, Mark is not in Midland every night either. Still I've recently had a huge urge to de-clutter our house. I sometimes feel like a cluttered home creates a cluttered mind. Like if all I see is clutter, I'll feel that way too. While Mark hasn't overtly expressed this same sentiment, he does make clever comments like "For every toy Kolbe gets for his birthday we're getting rid of five of his existing ones." (We'll see how that goes...) I can tell he feels the same way I do. Where I used to find myself thinking it was "cute" to group lots of little knick-knacks together on a table, I now covet a completely empty countertop.

I think the thing that gets me the most is that we are a family of FOUR. There are only FOUR people living in this 1400 square foot, 3 bedroom, 2 bath house. (1900 when you include the garage which we DO use as living space from time to time!) I shouldn't be making comments about how we've totally outgrown it already. There are much larger families that live in much smaller homes. To be completely honest, I don't think it's a matter of not having enough space. I think it's a matter of us having way more "stuff" than we need. As my dad once told Mark shortly after we got married, "All that really happens after you get married is you start acquiring 'stuff'." Boy, was he right.

And the bottom line is, I don't want to raise our boys thinking that "stuff" is the way to happiness. We could fill every single nook and cranny of this house with all kinds of material things and they'd never fill the vast amounts of space in the hearts, souls and minds of our kiddos. Those rooms can only be filled with our undivided time, love, and attention: things I so dearly long to give both Reagan and Kolbe.

So maybe this year instead of nesting for the birth of a new baby, I'll spend my few rare spare minutes cleaning up and clearing out both my house and my mind in an effort to truly get down to what matters most.

Public Puking

2009-10-02T22:51:00.003-05:00

I think there must be an unwritten "Mom List" floating around somewhere that notates all of the ridiculous things a woman must go through in order to be fully initiated in to motherhood. There have been several times in the past two years where I've found myself thinking Yeah, this has happened to other people I know and here it is happening to me. Things like mastitis. Or pulling an all-nighter because your two kids tag team waking up throughout the night. Or pregnancy constipation. Or being peed on while changing a diaper. Or pooped on, for that matter. Things that are just inevitably going to happen. And I'm pretty sure that having one of your kids puke in public is definitely on that list. As of this past week, I can check it off of mine.

In what was supposed to be a quick trip to Walmart for random toiletries, I found myself encountering this nightmare right around 5:00pm...probably Walmart's finest hour. Reagan was sitting in the shopping cart seat with our darling cart cover surrounding him and Kolb was standing in the actual buggy playing with all the goodies I had thrown in. We stopped on the toothbrush aisle to get Kolb a new brush. Since there were like seventy-five different styles with various age specifications to chose from, I was engrossed in selecting the right one. An older female Walmart employee that didn't speak much English came up on the aisle beside us. Like most older people, she was fascinated with the babies and took a liking to Kolbe. Pleased that I had someone to entertain him for a second so I could focus on my toothbrush hunt, I allowed her to chat away with him. By the time I finally selected a cute one with Eeyore on it, I turned around to find the lady gone and Kolbe with a paper towel in his hand. Just beyond our cart stood a clean up station with a towel dispenser so I assumed the lady must have given him one from there.

Before I had time to realize what was happening I heard Reagan begin to choke. I rushed back over to the cart frantically trying to figure out what was wrong. Sure enough, curled up in his little paw was a scrap of the paper towel. Just as I attempted to grab him from the seat, it happened. Lovely, smelly, chunky mouth fulls of nastiness. Reagan had nursed just before we left the house but this also appeared to include a good portion of his earlier real food meal as well. Dang. Too bad we hadn't held off on solids a little longer. Not just on his clothes, not just on my pretty cart cover, not just on my clothes...but all over the floor too.

And there he sat, smiling up at me. It was as if he was saying, "Ah, that feels so much better! Back to shopping!"

I was filled with so many emotions. Rage: Did that lady seriously give my baby a paper towel!?! Disappointment: Was I seriously not paying attention to a stranger playing with my baby!?! Disgust: Am I seriously standing in the middle of Walmart with puke all over me and my child!?! Humor: Am I seriously standing in the middle of Walmart with puke all over me and my child!?!

Within minutes, the little old lady appeared again and was absolutely mortified that Reagan had choked on the paper towel. Full of apologies, she eagerly helped me clean up the mess and kept asking in her broken English if I was mad at her. I tried as best as I could to explain that babies can't have paper. Hello, doesn't everyone know I'm raising a billy goat!?!

We made our way over to the baby section where I selected a random green t-shirt to change Rudy into. The puke smell was way to overpowering to take him home in what he was wearing. Besides, there was no way I was getting that mess all over my beloved new car seat. Luckily, I had my trusty baby trash bags in my purse and was able to throw all the nasties in there. By the time we made it out of the store, I was completely overwhelmed. If I was a smoker, I would have had one in the parking lot. A drinker and as soon as we got home I would have busted open a cold one.

I've always though myself to be calm, cool, and collected in almost any situation. So why is it that motherhood has managed to turn me in to a total mess of frantic, spaz-out, anxiety filled stress!?! Why in the world would I even go to Walmart at that hour!?! And get that involved in a search for a toothbrush!!! Looking back on the situation, it's quite easy to laugh. While there's certainly a desire to beat myself up about the whole thing, the truth is, I know I'm not the only one this has happened to. Praise God that nothing happened to my little dumpling, and praise him as well for this learning experience for me as a mama. As I confidently strike "public puking" from my unwritten Mom List, I pray that I have the wisdom in the future to avoid the mere occasion of this ever happening again! (whether choking provoked or that other kind of puking that involves multiple episodes in a 24 hour period)

The Mama Scream

2009-09-27T15:11:00.006-05:00

In one of the parenting books I'm reading, the writer discusses how you can use different tones and pitches in your voice to help your children distinguish various levels of immediacy or importance while disciplining. At one point he referred to a certain extreme scream that should only be used in times of definite danger. He writes that it's one that you can't practice...it just happens. Pausing, I meandered back through my nearly twenty-three months of motherhood and couldn't recall a time where the extreme scream had broken forth from my mouth. But just two days later, it did.

I was busy getting dressed a few mornings ago and Mark came in and set Reagan on the bed. There he sat giggling and drooling, being the calm little dumpling that he is. Sure enough, in trotted Kolbe, and he quickly climbed up on the bed (a feat he has just recently mastered since our bed is pretty high up). At first the two just giggled at each other as usual but then Kolbe decided to start rolling around. Before I had a chance to dispel the situation, Kolbe rolled directly into Reagan's side, flipping him over several times. That sudden rapid explosion of thoughts that happens in frightful moments fired off in my head. With the nightstand table just inches away from where Reagan's head would hit, I just knew we were about to have an accident. (not to mention that he'd be hitting the floor below) I knew there was no way I'd be able to get to the other side of the bed in time to stop this catastrophe from happening.

And thus, from my mouth the Mama Sceam burst forth in a frantic cry of "Ahhhhh! AHHHHHH!" Just as I reached the bed, Reagan (luckily, missing the night stand table) dropped off the far side of the bed and landed on the floor below. Mark came running in from the kitchen just in time for us both to see Reagan smile up at us with his What? Is something wrong? face. Fortunately, all of the decorative pillows that adorn our bed when it's made were piled right below him. So it wasn't even an accident after all. More like fun for the little guy! Who doesn't want to fall in to a pile of pillows!?!

Still, my heart raced and raced for another five minutes or so after the whole ordeal ended and things were back to normal. I sat on the edge of the bed holding Reagan and rocking him back and forth even though he wasn't upset whatsoever. It's that uncontrollable feeling that I somehow let my baby down, or that I allowed him to get hurt, that gets me. I know it's impossible to be several places at once and equally impossible to prevent every single accident that will happen to my boys in the years to come, but the mama in me still wants to try. I would absolutely lose it if something happened to one of them and it was something that I could have prevented. Even the though of it now sends chills down my spine. I pray all the time that I can protect my little boys when they need it while at the same time give them the room they need to grow independently. Parenting is a stressful job.

Maybe next time I use The Mama Scream it will be for a legitimate reason. But I hope not.

Just His Age

2009-09-14T13:19:00.006-05:00

9:00pm, the kids are finally both crashed, and alas, it's me and my (er, Mark's) computer. Oh yeah, and the kiddos I'm tutoring online intermittently. Sounds pretty relaxing for a mom, right? Unfortunately, my heart feels kind of heavy tonight. Not because anything is wrong, and no, nothing horrible has happened. I just find myself worried about my effectiveness as a mama. Yes, I'm able to meet all of my children's basic needs. They never go hungry, I keep them clothed, and they are relatively happy kiddos.

But what everyone is referring to as "just his age" has got me scratching my head with Kolbe. What seemed like the happiest baby in the world has turned in to somewhat of a monster. And by monster I mean a hitting, screaming, biting, throwing, kicking, pinching, poking, tantrum throwing twenty-three pounder. Part of me is a little plagued with guilt. Would Kolbe be acting this way if I hadn't added a little brother to our family just fifteen months after he was born? Technically, he was still a baby when the baby was born. Wait, he still is a baby. Even now. He's still my baby. All twenty-two months of him.

And "just his age" seems like such an excuse. While yes, I must admit that I have seen many a two-year-old act way more ridiculous than mine, I somehow feel like I should have a better handle on things. It often seems like I wake up with a pocket full of "no-nos" ready to throw out at the slightest deviation from appropriate. And this is a high-energy little fella we're talking about here. He's no peaceful, clingy, gentle thing at all. So those deviations from appropriate tend to be constant.

The baby brother just seems to add to the problems. All of the sudden, Reagan is a real person. He's not just the tiny baby that mama held and fed frequently and slept the rest of the time. He's a real boy. One that plays with Kolbe's toys. One that looks so inviting to poke and prod. One that takes Mama's attention. One that cries when Kolbe hits him. I think it's the response that Kolbe's going for. And considering I'm Reagan's mama too, I'm ever so often torn between wanting to defend Reagan (scene 1: Kolbe kits Reagan. Mama glares over at Kolbe and for a split second wants to grab him by the ear and toss him out the back door.) and wanting to see things through Kolbe's eyes and understand why he's acting out. Such a fine line.

But some of it has nothing to do with the baby brother at all. Some of it is just plain old bad. Did I just say that? My kid? Plain old bad? As much as I strive to be the perfect parent, yes, sometimes my darling little Kolb can be plain old bad. For example, scene 2: setting- our home, very first thing in the morning. Kolbe wanders in to Mama and Dada's room and after lots of cuddles and "good morning, Kolbe!"s, the day begins.
Mama: Lets go change your diaper, Kolbe.
Kolbe: NO!
Mama: Well, it's not an option, you're really soggy so we've got to get a new one.
Kolbe: NO!
(Kolbe runs full speed from room after hitting Mama's leg. Mama wipes sleep from eyes and stumbles as she grabs Kolbe by the arm. Full tantrum mode begins.)

I'm sure you can get what I'm saying. And no, this doesn't happen every single morning. And no, it's not always about the diaper. Sometimes it's about getting dressed. Sometimes it's about eating breakfast. Or getting in the car. Or putting toys away. I'm sure some of you more seasoned mothers are chuckling and thinking what a fool! She's letting this little pip-squeak rule the roost! And yes, I realize that I am the boss and options aren't a necessity. But I am not an experienced mom. I'm learning as I go. And I am completely entitled to my own believes about how I want to parent my children. And even though I get it fairly frequently from people I don't want to get it from, I'm not seeking all kinds of unsolicited advice. I just want to feel like my efforts aren't in vain. And I don't want to be one of those mothers who is all over my kids. I don't want to hand out all the no-nos my pockets seemed to be filled with. Where is the line between when to discipline and when to just let it go??? And will there ever come a point when Kolbe just chooses to do the right thing because he wants to please me??? (wouldn't that be nice!...actually it is nice. He does do it. Every once in a blue moon.)

The truth is, I love my two boys and my husband more than anything else on this Earth. They are the world to me. So I want to know that I am doing right by them. I hate sitting here wondering if all my efforts are enough. Or even if I'm making the right efforts. Since Kolbe is the one weighing heavy on my heart, I feel like I want to make sure I'm doing everything in my power to give him everything he needs. Sure, I know without a shadow of a doubt that discipline issues are going to creep up regardless of how phenomenal of a parent I am. Kids have to act out in order to learn what's right and wrong. It's just a whole lot, all of a sudden and I feel like I want to get a hold of it before it gets out of control. I guess this is just the perfectionist coming out in me. And truth be told, I'm sure the greatest amount of changing that needs to be done is changing within me.

God gave these two precious little boys to Mark and me for a reason. It's up to us to raise them the absolute best way we can and hope that it's enough. I pray that it will be. Because I'm not okay with the "just his age" mentality. Kolbe is my son. He's my first attempt at being a mama...the mama I always dreamed of being. Kolbe may be knocking on the doorstep of two, but that doesn't mean that he and the rest of our family has to suffer through this growing phase in such a negative light. It's my mission to make two...and even three!...a positive experience. I've armed myself with several tools, the most important and effective being prayer! Lots of support from Mark and many others certainly helps too. I'm also currently reading The Discipline Book by Dr. William and Martha Sears and have about three other books on not only raising children but raising Catholic children too that are begging to be read. (I'd like to add margaritas to the list of tools but don't quite have the money to afford them on a regular basis so instead I'll include chocolate.) It blows my mind how many things I want to do correctly and how little time I have to figure it all out! Thank God this is a learn-as-you-go profession! And thank God for my precious boys.

Hello, World!

2009-09-10T06:51:00.007-05:00

When I started our little family blog (The Asmussen Family) a little over a year ago, I had every intention of telling all of the wonderful little stories of motherhood that take place in our home daily. Over time, however, the blog turned in to a family scrapbook/journal of sorts. It basically chronicles the "big" events that happen with our family and pays little attention to the true realities of a stay-at-home-mom household.

So alas, I have decided to start a new blog. One focusing on the truth about motherhood (or at least my truth). I think people tend to picture it only as the wonderful, beautiful thing that it is. But the truth is, there are times when motherhood is hard. Really hard! And not that my thoughts and opinions are special or anything, but there are times when I think that simply being able to get them off my chest will help make the journey more enjoyable. Some days things go perfectly and I go to bed feeling like I can conquer the world. Move over June Cleaver! And others I spend beating myself up about the smallest things. Either way, I'm here to share the stories of my heart--the ones that revolve not only around my kiddos and husband, but around me too!

So what's in a name? One night while contemplating what I'd call this blog that I have been planning to create for months, I heard a clip of someone taking an oath on television. Naturally, it ended with "so help me God." I began to think about the journey of motherhood and it's similarities to an oath. The second we become parents we commit to raising our children regardless of the cost to us. Physically, mentally, and spiritually we take an oath to do our absolute best to give our children all they need. Parenthood (like marriage, I suppose) is an ultimate oath. Furthermore, I couldn't help but connect to the words "so help me God" in a spiritual way as well. I can't tell you how many times, with both babies vying for my attention, I've cried out silent little prayers of help from God. Literally, in so many ways motherhood is a giant plea of "SO HELP ME, GOD!" I couldn't resist this title so here we are. On another note, when I was adding the blog to my blogroll in Blogspot, sohelpmegod was already taken. So was sohelpmegod1 and sohelpmegod2. Thus, I was stuck with sohelpmegod3. Although I was slightly disappointed at first (especially since the three others have nothing on them if you look them up), I was suddenly struck with the connection of the number 3 and God. Not only am I asking for help from God...but all THREE parts of the Holy Trinity as well! Father, Son, and Holy Spirit! Ok, slightly nerdy of me, I know, but I liked the connection.

So here we go. Rational or not, these are the stories of my home. The stories of my heart. The stories of our hopes and dreams, tragedies and triumphs, frustrations and joys. Welcome to my home, world!